Hurt
by ArtfulSunGodJustified
Summary: My very first fanfic. please be nice. Our boys were captured at young ages and forced into government testing. They can never live as normal humans but how much will everything change when Mikey befriends Luther Headrick(LeatherHead) and tries to live life as a real human beside his bipolar friend? Rated M for lots of swearing and yaoi. Humans!
1. Chapter 0: Prologue

My first fanfiction. Please be nice to me :) thank you!

* * *

TMNT

Michelangelo:

When my brothers and I were on the smallish side of tiny children we were in an accident. Well, not an accident as much as an experiment. The government of Japan had seized a large group of people for mutation testing. Me and my older brother Leo had been involved as well as our new siblings and foster father. The people were grouped off into different sections of biogenic mutation testing. Most children and a choice selection of adults were categorized into reptilian mutation while the majority of adults and some children were tested with mammals. Others were set with amphibians and avons and so on and so forth.

Leo tells me that so many people died during the mutation it's ridiculous. Most of them were adults though. Donnie thinks that's because while the children had small doses of it and were able to build an immunity system and cooperate with the chemicals effects; adults were given larger doses and were overwhelmed with the stuff. Their bodies couldn't handle the changes and most of them died. Me and Leo's parents died just like Raph's, and Donnie's too. Of course, I don't remember any of this because I was just a three month old baby at the time. Leo was two years old and Raph and Donnie were only a year, so they don't remember anything about it either.

The only reason we know about this is because of our foster father. His name is Yoshi Hamato, but we call him Splinter. He used to be a worker for the government. When he found out about what was going on he began working as a solder on the secret mutation business. It made him sick that the government was doing this and he couldn't just sit back and watch. He started smuggling people out of the camps and into America. He could only ever save children though. Anyone else was out of his reach. When they found out what dad was doing they took his wife and daughter, and forced them all to become some of the experiments. He had come up with an escape plan to get him and his family out of there. A damn good one at that. It would have worked too, if it hadn't been for us.

Leo, Raph, Don, and I were all in the same district. Reptilian: Turtle. But so was Dad's wife, Teng Shin. After our parents died she sort of took on the role of district Reptilian: Turtle Mother. She took care of us and I guess we gave her the strength to keep going. Dad was put up in the district mammal: Rodent. His daughter, Miwa, was sent to Avon: Robin. He had planed for us all to leave but sneaking a sick woman, two toddlers, and three infants out of a high tech security government research facility was not anywhere even almost close to easy. Long, horrifying, and terribly tragic story short; my brothers and I were too much baggage to be lugging around. We slowed them down. Miwa, and Teng Shin didn't make it out. With all the strength he had left; Dad took my brothers and me and ran. We made it through that nightmare alive, but not before the few doses we were given could take affect.

For Dad the affects weren't that bad; a little more body hair than presumed normal and some dainty as shit fingers. Plus a collapsible spine but that can hardly be considered deformed. Definitely would make life easier as a contortionist. However my brothers and me got more than two or three doses. Our deformities are a bit more noticeable. We each have two layers of skin. First there's a layer of normal human skin. Then below that is a layer of scales. So if you're a seven year old learning how to use the nunchaku from your rat mutated adoptive father and you happen to conk yourself in the leg with them hard enough to bust the skin, for example, than you're in luck because the layer below that is significantly tougher. So instead of some big nasty scab you just have to deal with a little patch of turtle scales until the human flesh grows back. Therefore, it's not a completely horrible thing unless you're us and there are some spots where human skin doesn't grow. We all have scales on the corners of our eyes, our elbows, knees, knuckles-all of them, ear tips shoulders and a few random spots here and there. Also our rib cages have morphed into turtle shells. Yeah, a little creepy. You learn to deal with it though.

After we escaped we sailed as contraband into America. We ended up in New York City and there we started a new life. With all of the gangs going around Dad decided it would be in our best interest to practice the art of ninjutsu. He learned from his father and his father learned from his father so that's how that happened. Just incase you were wondering.

~.:(_tmnt_):.~

For about six months now I've been sneaking out every once in a while to shake off some stress, you know? Just run around and forget about my father and my brothers and all the craziness that comes with them. Don't get me wrong, I love them all with all my heart, but every family has their not so happy sides. Dad's always such a drill sargent. He's raised us off the grid since the day we became his sons. He's so dedicated that the public never find out about us that if he knew I were doing this, well, it wouldn't be very pleasant. Leo and Raph are always fighting. I swear they can't go ten minutes without clawing each others thoughts out. And Donnie's always down in his lab. The only time he ever surfaces from the basement is when April comes over. April is like a sister to us, except Donnie, he's got a thing for her. Even Splinter has taken a liking to her and she's completely human. But yeah, she'll come over and geek around with Don in the basement for hours unless Casey's there. Casey is Raph's friend who comes over and breaks the furniture sometimes. I can't say I don't like the guy, but he's kind of an ass. Basically what I'm trying to say is my brothers have friends. Mr. rule fanatic, stick up his ass, Leonardo even goes down to the gym to hang out with that one Karai chick; despite the _'NO interaction with humans'_ rule that was nailed into our heads since we were little. Every one has someone to talk out the family shit with. Every one but me. You have no idea how retarded it is to live a completely solitary life other than your dysfunctional family. I mean, fuck, we live in a run down house just outside city limits where there is literally _no one_ to talk to. I have no friends except my brothers who all think I'm a screw up. They pretend they don't think so but I know they do. That all changed though the night I straight up _left_ instead of sneaking out. I met LH.

One night Raph and Leo were getting into it. And I mean _really_ getting into it. There was screaming and cursing and insults and all kinds of things were said. I don't know how it started; I don't even think they do, but when that first punch was thrown me and Don knew it was time to step in. Dad was out scavenging for food so we were all that stood between our older brothers killing each other. Leo dodged the first hit and retaliated with a graze to the red heads jaw. Donnie grabbed Leo's arms and held them behind his back and I did the same to Raph before he could go for another punch.

"Let go of me, Mike." He said in a warning tone, like he'd hurt me too if I didn't step off.

"If we let go you guys are gunna end up breakin' somethin'!" I shot back.

"Or each other." Donnie added in.

"I think that's the idea, Donnie." Leo informed; having cooled off a little. Don let go of Leo's arms believing he was calmed down enough. "Just let him go, Mikey, we'll stop, okay?" My oldest brother said looking at me with sincere sapphire eyes. hesitantly I let go of Raph and stepped back a little. They just stood there for a second, neither willing to back down before the other. Leo started to walk away; feeling like he had better things to do than stare down our hot head brother. Before he could get out of reach though Raph was throwing another punch and instinctively I jumped to latch onto his arm. Somehow during the struggle I ended up sliding across the hardwood floor and smacking my head on the staircase. Hard. I sat up but I was so dizzy it was hard to process what else was going on. All I could think about was the pain in the back of by head and I was done. I stood up and fought away the pain until I was out the door and far enough away from the house that I couldn't hear Leo calling after me anymore.

~.:(tmnt):.~

I ran my way into the city and climbed a fire escape up onto the roof. My head cleared up a bit, or at least enough for me to realize I had a bloody nose that was flooding down to stain my orange t-shirt. Whipping off the blood onto my black jacket sleeve; I zipped the jacket up to cover the red stain over my chest. After a while of roof top jumping my headache went away and I got a little hungry. The streets below were all so lit up and full of life. It was 5 something when I stormed out and I checked the time on my phone to see that it was 7:51. Great. I've been running around for two hours, no wonder I'm starving! I find another fire escape and run my way down to street level to find a garbage bin or something to eat from. I didn't have any money and I couldn't risk anyone seeing me. I didn't even realize that my search for food had led me into a sketchy part of the city. I had been hanging by my scrawny waist over the side of a dumpster; searching face first in the trash for something edible when someone grabbed one of my dangling ankles and yanked me from my dumpster and onto the cold pavement of the alleyway. I shook off the pain; having been dealt worse by my brother just a few hours ago' and looked up at the five guys that grinned down at me.

"Hay, Guy, you lost?" one of them snickered in a nasaly voice. He kind of sounded like a dying cat.

"Nope. Just lookin for some food. Nothing deserving of your precious time." I said; a little sarcasm sticking out in my tone.

"Oh,ho,_ho_! We got ourselves a _smart ass_ over here!" I'm guessing that was the leader. A few more cliché, gang rape movie lines and I found myself rolling my sky blue eyes. I had a slight fear issue when it came to the Purple Dragons, which I could tell that they were by their getup. But they were forcing it too much to the point that it was obvious they were the weak link group of their gang and thought they were hot shit. It was hard_ not_ to think they were stupid with their flaunting and babbling. They were trying to back me into the corner of the alley but I stood my ground. I guess they didn't like that cuz the leader growled and grabbed a pipe from one of his friends, swinging it at me in a sloppy fashion. Or at least in my moderate direction. I snatched it away from him and spun it around professionally, just to show off a little. I held the pipe at my side, ready to swing out at the next threatening move. However, before I had the chance to beat some major ass, a newcomer from the alley entrance began tearing the two back guys apart. While the group was confused I slugged the leader in the head with the pipe and kneed him in the stomach. The leader fell back into the guy with the dying animal voice and they both went down while the newcomer took out the last guy with his own chains. All five gang members were out, leaving me to stand alone with this new guy.

"Hay, thanks for the help, friend." I said with a big smile. He snapped his head up into my direction and took a few menacing steps closer, not dropping the weapon he'd taken from the unconscious gang member. The closer he got the farther I backed up until I hit the dead end of the alley. The guy got all kinds of up in my face, and for a second I actually thought he was going to eat my soul. It would be all over the news the next morning _'Adorable mutant child with endless style and swag found brutally murdered and mutilated by psychotic crazy man wielding chains._' The guy was literally inches away from me and was intimidating as all hell. He was taller than Raph, who was tallest out of my whole family with a whopping 6.3, by an inch or two. Which was super tall compared to little 5.2 me. I could only think of one way to get out of this.

Calmly, I dropped my weapon and pressed my arms up against the brick wall; palms out over my head in surrender. "Look, see, I'm harmless. I couldn't hurt you if I tried. What would be the point in killing me? Just a small helpless teenager. No threat here." I chuckled, trying not to sound panicked.

"You held your own against the Purple Dragons." He stated plainly. His voice was deep and gravely with no traces of emotion.

"Yeah, well, I think we both can agree that those guys were a joke." I said with another laugh, trying to lighten the situation a little. The guy chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He dropped the chains and held out his hand for me to take. "My name's Luther. Luther Headrick." He said in a more friendly voice. I put my arms down and relaxed; taking the hand offered to me and shaking it.

"Mikey." I introduced. "Formally known as the almighty, powerful Michelangelo."

"Well," He said looking around us. "What are you doin' out here alone? You do know what happens to kids like you in this city at this time of night don't ya?" Luther asked; stepping aside so I could start walking with him to the end of the alley.

"I _was_ looking for some food before _these_ dickbags showed up." I said; _'accidently'_ stepping on one of said dickbags heads as we walked passed them.

"Looking for food in an alleyway? From where, the trash?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah. It's not one of my most prideful endeavors, but, hay, better than starving."

"Why don't you go eat at a restaurant or something normal?" He asked; trying not to sound too insensitive.

"No monies!" I exclaimed with a grin; turning out my pockets for emphasis. We had walked out into the light of the street lamps and now I got a good look at him. He had long black hair that lay over his shoulders and striking electric green eyes. And his black leather jacket made him look like a real hard ass. His blue jeans were clean with no tares or rips. And I have to say those were some nice combat boots that covered his lucky ass feet.

"Alright." Luther said nodding his head understandingly. "Guess I'm going to have to buy you dinner then." He said with a smile. I looked up at him and grinned ear to ear.

"That would be awesome!" I exclaimed; all about the idea of someone buying dinner for me instead of settling with half eaten garbage.

"I take that as a yes. I know the perfect place." He said walking ahead of me in what I assume is the direction of my free, warm, non-moldy food. I quickly fallow behind him and begin starting up a friendly conversation.

"Where we goin'?"

"Somewhere I like to hang out. They make a mean pizza. I can tell you're a pizza guy by the stain on your shirt." Luther said matter-of-factly. I looked down at my shirt that peeked out from my jacket. It had been somewhat unzipped during the fight. In my embarrassment I quickly zipped the jacket up all the way and laughed.

"Yeah! Can't get enough of the stuff! Probably the best food on the face of the planet." It was a cover up but it wasn't necessarily a lie. Pizza _is_ my favorite food. "So, _Luther Headrick_, that's kind of a mouth full." I said bluntly. "Is that your first and last name, or just the first, like Mary Kait?" Luther chuckled again. I was good at making him do that.

"Your first name is _Michelangelo_ and you're judging _me_?" He pointed out.

"Dude, people only call me that when I'm in trouble." I said. "You can just call me Mikey. Everyone else does."

"I think I'll call you Michael." He said looking back at me for approval. "If that's alright with you, of course. I always liked that name. It's got a nice ring to it." It did have a nice sound. I just always thought it sounded too formal for my strict casual style.

"Yeah, that's fine." I said happily.

The thought came to me more than once that this guy was actually walking me to his skeevy white cereal killer van, but I've been raised in the martial arts. Training my whole life incase of a situation such as this. If he tried anything, no matter how damn intimidating he is, I had the upper hand. Turns out he did actually take me to a restaurant. We walked in and my ears were automatically flooded with some rad, fine ass music. I noticed we were in a bar. Not the old style bar with the pool table and smelly bicker dude stink. It was like a club. Neon lights flashed out all over the left portion of the place while speakers blared the latest hits for the many dancers out on the floor. The right of the room was dimly lit in a way that was more soothing rather than creepy.

I fallowed Luther over to the back of the place and sat beside him at a round table. I sat in the corner and he sat against the right wall. We didn't try to start up another conversation considering the music was so loud we would have to scream to be able to hear each other. So I just drummed my fingers to the beat of the song against the wooden table top. Eventually a waitress walked over. She looked at Luther and smiled; pen and paper at the ready to take our orders which is a bit silly because we didn't even have menus to order from.

"The usual!" Luther yelled out over the music. She nodded; scribbling down whatever the 'usual' was on her paper. She then looked at me expectantly. I just sat there for a minute looking toward my new friend for help. He smiled amusedly at me then turned toward the waitress. "Peperoni pizza and a coke, please!" He ordered. She smiled at me and pointed at her eyes; shouting

"I'm diggin the liner!" before walking off.

Oh. _SHIT_. I totally forgot my mask at home! No wonder this guy wanted to buy me food. That's how it goes! Save a makeup wearing pansy from some thugs, then take him out for dinner. He probably thinks this is a date! Okay, I could probably play this off. Just go along with it until it's time to leave. Just play along.

And that's exactly what I was going to do, but when I turned back to him he looked at me with such a serious face I legitimately thought I was going to piss myself. He propped his elbow up on top of the table and rested his head in his hand. His piercing green eyes locked on my face and I started looking around the room trying to find something to occupy my mind with other than his lingering gaze.

"It's not makeup is it?" He asked. I could hardly hear him over the booming music but when my brain registered the question I snapped my attention directly to him.

"Huh?" I asked dumbly.

"I noticed when I first saw you. I could barely see the scales from the street lights." He said pointing to my face. I was about to freak out and run. If this guy was able to tell the truth about me from first glance; if he had evidence of my existence than I was putting my whole family in danger. "Don't freak out!" He said reading the shock on my face. "You're just like me." He pushed his black hair back to reveal dark jade green scales creeping up the back of his neck just like me and my brothers. Subconsciously I reached up and slid my fingers over his neck; eyes locked on him in surprise. They were real.

"What?" I asked; not knowing what else to say. I had never met another mutant besides my family. "You're one of us?"

"I've never seen someone else like me since I was little. Then I saw you and I just had to ask." He said leaning a bit closer. "How many are there? Like us, I mean."

"J-just me and my brothers. And my dad, but he's not a reptilian type." I explained.

"What species?" He asked calmly.

"Turtle. You?"

"Crock." He said lifting his lip a little to show off a few fang like teeth. That was awesome.

"Dude..." I said in wonder. We got completely lost in the conversation about our similar pasts. By the time our food got to us I had learned that he was eighteen, the same age as Leo, and he had been smuggled out of the camps and into America by my dad. I couldn't wait for him to meet everyone. I know dad would be more than happy to meet one of the many lives he saved at risk of his own. I had explained to him that his savior was none other than my father, and the rest of the story. What happened to us and how we ended up in the city. While I hungrily scarfed down my food he told me about how he had managed to live in an orphanage with a few older mutant children that watched after him. One day someone found out about them and they were forced to leave. They all went off on their own and Luther had to learn to take care of himself. He never saw them again. After He was done with his story I smiled at him comfortingly and patted his broad shoulder. He looked up into my eyes and we just kind of looked at each other for a moment, like we were still trying to process that we had just met another of our kind.

I'm pretty sure some kind of deep meaningful friendship business was about to go down but I felt a vibration in my pocket and sighed. Taking my hand back from his shoulder I pulled my cell from my pocket and checked the time. And holy fuck it was late. The guys must be freaking out. I looked at my messages to see a couple texts from Donnie, a couple dozen texts and two missed calls from Leo, and about a few hundred messages from Raph.

"Holy shit." I muttered; looking at my message box. I checked the ones from Donnie first.

'Mikey, are you alright?'5:36pm and 'Please come back soon. The guys are getting really stressed out, and I have to take a look at your injury.'6:12pm

I looked at a few of them from Leo which went like. 'Mikey where are you? Are you hurt?' 5:48pm 'Raph is sorry about hitting you so just please come home.'6:02pm and ' You've got us all worried Mikey. Text me back.' 7:53pm Then the missed calls and a few more but I just skipped them.

I skimmed over a few from Raph but just read the first and skipped to the last. 'mikey im so sorry. i didnt mean to punch you it just happened. are you ok?'5:42pm 'dammit mikey im flippin my shit here. im sorry! how many times do i need to say it? just answer me for fucks sake please!' 12:45am

"God dammit..." I say; running a hand through my blond hair.

"What is it?" Luther asks looking at me a bit worriedly.

"I have to go. Brothers." I said with a sigh. "But hay we should meet up again sometime." I said with a grin. We agreed that we should see each other here again on Thursday, which is only two days away but still. We traded cell digits and he offered to walk me home but I assured him that I could take care of myself. We said our goodbyes and parted ways.

~.:(tmnt):.~

It was 2:04 the next time I checked my phone. It was a long walk back and as I climbed the steps up onto the porch I found myself hopping that everyone had forgotten about me and went to sleep. Just incase though I unzipped my jacket all the way to uncover the massive blood stain on my shirt so the guilt trip for ignoring them for hours wouldn't be too harsh. I took a deep breath readying myself to enter the house. I exhaled in a long sigh and thought 'maybe they just gave up and would let me go up to my room in peace.' I opened the front door and stepped inside, closing it back behind me. No such luck.

Immediately after shutting the door I heard Donnie racing up the stairs from the basement up to the main floor. When he was up he took one long look at my appearance then gave me a stern expression. I gave a sheepish smile.

"Come on." He ordered; turning around and heading back into the lab. I fallowed obediently. When we reached basement level I found myself sat on a table; kicking my legs back and forth to entertain myself. Don went to work with his doctor thing making sure my cute little nose wasn't broken and seeing if I had a concussion or not. He seemed a little frustrated with me but I could tell he was relieved I was home. He had his angry face on though. Purple bandana holding his chestnut brown hair out of his milk chocolate eyes so he could focus better. His oil splotched purple t-shirt was half tucked into his brown cargo pants and he looked like a mess. Well, even more so than usual.

"So, are you going to talk to me, or just brood around awkwardly all night?" I asked.

"Day." He said shining a light in my eyes. "It is now day time. You have been gone for nine hours and you never even bothered to text one of us to let us know that you _weren't_ lying dead in a ditch." Oh no. Donnie's guilt trips are the worst.

"I'm sorry..." I said in the most pitiful kicked orphan voice I could muster. Even flashed the puppy eyes for good measure. He tried to keep his angry act up but we both knew I was winning this fight. It was mere seconds before my brainy big brother gave in. With an exasperated sigh he leaned on the desk; placing his head in his palm.

"Mikey." He said in a more motherly tone than anything else. "Just don't do it again okay?" I smiled at him reassuringly.

"Okay." I agreed. He smiled back at me and we were back to normal.

"You have a small concussion but the right medication should heal that right up." He said going over to his medicine cabinet while mumbling something to himself. And everything was going fine until-

_"MIKEY!"_

Donnie and I could practically feel the house quaking from the thundering voice of our older brother. We both stiffened at the sound of the second oldest teen of the house storming down from his room and through the living room to the basement.

"Raph, stop it! You're not going to accomplish anything by-"

"Out'a my way, Fearless!" Shouted the hot head of the family as he pushed passed our oldest brother and began stomping his way down the stairs; Leo following close behind. "Where the _hell_ have you been?!" Raph yelled reaching the cold concrete floor of the lab and stalked over to me. I sat completely still as he slammed his hands down on the table at either side of me, making sure I couldn't get away. "Do you know how fucking worried we were? You could have been dead, or hurt, or kidnaped, or _something_ and _we _wouldn't know! Because _you_ decided not to answer your fucking phone for **nine**_ goddamn hours_!" He growled. I backed up as far away from him as I could, which wasn't very far because of the cursed wall. Either way, it didn't matter much because he just leaned in closer anyway. His emerald eyes moved down to see the blood on my shirt and he tensed a little, dropping his head to look at the floor. "Just text and let us know you're okay next time alright? Don't scare us like that."

I let my body relax and smiled down at my short tempered big brother and tangled my fingers in his fiery red hair, petting him like a cat. "Sorry, Raphie." I said just a little over a whisper. He looked awful. His usually cool looking combed back red hair was all messy and disheveled. His clothes were all damp and gorse. He probably spent those nine hours in the training room dealing out some pant up rage.

I looked up at my other brothers. Donnie most likely stayed down here and worked on stuff all night, like how he usually deals with stress. And Leo seemed a little out of it, like he needed a nap from being such a mother hen. His raven black hair was everywhere like he had been running his hands through it repeatedly in worry. "Sorry guys. I won't do it again."

But that was a lie.


	2. Chapter 1: The Good Left Undone

Thank you so much for the reviews and favorites! :D Your support is greatly appreciated! I love you all. Please enjoy! OwO

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TMNT

Michelangelo:

I looked at the time that glowed brightly from the digital clock that sat on my bedside table. It read 11:36 which meant my older brothers were most likely asleep. Deciding it was the right time I climbed down from my top bunk and crossed the room to my dresser. Flipping my golden blonde hair out of my cyan eyes; I turned on the lamp on my dresser so that I could better see the contents of the shelf I was looking through. Quickly, I picked out an orange plaid over shirt and a pair of shredded skinny blue jeans. I brought the articles of clothing over to my bed and laid them out over the black comforter of the bottom bunk. Sitting on the edge of my bed; I began pulling my jeans on over my scrawny legs and orange boxers. I threw on the shirt over my black wife-beater and buttoned it halfway up my chest; leaving the top open. Long sleeves were never really my kind of thing. I mean, they only get in the way of everything. I rolled them up above my elbows.

A tall full body mirror sat next to the door and I grabbed my black jacket off the end of my tall bed frame before walking over to examine my reflection. After sliding my arms into the jacket and adjusting it to be more comfortable I still felt like I was missing something. I went back over to my bedside and slipped on my orange converse. The mirror gave me the same results as before. With a grimace I snatched my orange bandana from the dresser top and tied it behind my head. It covered my face from just below my eyebrows to the tops of my freckle dusted cheeks. I lifted the mask up onto my forehead and into my hair to look at the small patches of sea green scales that flicked out at the corners of my eyes. I looked at the deformity with a frown and yanked the mask back down to cover it up. Now that it was out of sight I smiled at my otherwise fully human complexion.

I grabbed one of my kunai from the dresser top and stuck it in my jacket pocket incase I'd need it. With one last glance at the mirror I was out of my room and on my way to the door. I walked into the living room and went around my older brother sleeping on the couch to the remote. How Raph could sleep through this noise was a mystery to me. I turned down the volume to a bearable level and sat the controller back where it was. Raph shifted on the couch; mumbling something I couldn't understand and giving a slight shiver. With a chuckle I took the blanket from the other couch and tossed it over the red head. As soon as it was on him he snuggled into it and resumed his chainsaw like snoring. I snickered quietly to myself. For such a tuff guy he sure was a cuddly sleeper. I whispered a soft "Night, Raphie." before tiptoeing my way over to the front door. I went to open the door but before that I looked through the doorway that led to the basement. The light was still on but you could hear the zzz's comin' at you from all the way down the steps. Don fell asleep at the desk again. Typical.

I smiled fondly at the two of my big brothers sleeping habits as I unlocked the door and exited the house. I'm glad they could sleep through a damn apocalypse because if they caught me doing exactly what they told me not to do I'd probably be stuck in the house all month. The other night when I got home I told everyone about Luther. I told them everything. About the purple dragons, the crock mutation, and how he bought me pizza. But they all just scolded me. They said he must be trying to trick me into handing over the rest of the family because I'm 'naïve' and 'trust too easily'. This was coming from years of learning not to trust anybody. The only reason we accept the few people that we do is because they've proven themselves trustworthy. I'm not like that though. I try to see the good in everyone and they could too if they could get passed the fear of social rejection and betrayal. I said that, but they still didn't listen. They told me to stay away from him, and if he ever tried to contact me again to tell them right away. I guess not listening runs in the family.

After shutting and locking the door with the extra house key under the rug I looked up at the moon. It smiled down at me with it's crescent shape, like it was assuring me that I was making the right choice by sneaking out without my brothers knowing. I felt my cell go off in my pocket and I pulled it out to see the message from LH. Luther Headrick was too long so I abbreviated it. I am telling you, two days knowing the guy just seems too unrealistic. We talk like we've known each other forever! We just click like that. And he's so funny when he texts. All proper and what not. Our current conversation is going something like this.

'Michael. Tonight is the night.' 11:02

'yes friend, 2night is indeed that night! :D' 11:02

'Are you on your way yet?' 11:03

'nope. waitn 4 the guys 2 hit the sack :)' 11:04

'Why don't you just leave?'11:04

'dads on a trip so leos more high strung than usual :/ he'd probly lock me in my room if he new i was planin on leavin'11:04

'Why? You're a big kid. You can take care of yourself.'11:05

'yeah they dont seem 2 think so :|'11:06

Scroll down.

'i am now using my sick stealth skills to ninja myself out of the house! :D' 11:35

'Have you "ninja'ed" your way to freedom yet?' 11:43 that was the last one he sent.

'yes :3 ill b there in a few' 11:45 I sent back. I smiled back up at the sky and began my long walk to our meet up point.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Walking is such a WASTE of TIME! I am so tired of using my legs for transportation. I mean feet can only go seven to ten miles an hour and that's only if you can sprint like a boss. Which I can, but that doesn't mean I want to! Eventually I made it to the bar we decided to meet at. With a victorious shake of my fist I walked in and spotted my friend at the same back table we ate at the other night. He waved at me and I waved back starting to walk over there but stopped when he stood from the table and started towards the door. He walked passed me and I turned around; looking at him quizzically. He held open the door and gestured his hand to the outside like he wanted me to fallow.

No. Hu-uh. No way was I walking anymore. I just spent an hour and a half walking down here and I was ready to sit down.

"Where are you goin'?" I asked him.

"We're going to run around and do stuff. Come on." He said with a smile.

"But I just got heeere. I'm tiiired. I don't wanna walk no mooore." I pouted; slouching my way out the door.

"Well, you don't have to walk. I drove tonight." He said with a laugh. We walked around the corner and he proudly pointed out a sleek black Kawasaki VN900 Classic. This motorcycle was the single greatest cycle I have ever seen. It put Raph's red Daytona 675 to shame. Yep. That was it. I'm in love. "What do you think?"

"The fuck is this?" I asked; throwing my arms up in exaggeration. "You could have drove down to my house and picked me up!" I shouted with a laugh.

"I don't know where you live." He defended.

"I could have given directions." I said. He looked sincerely upset at this like he thought I was being serious. "Dude, I'm kidding." I laughed. He rolled his brilliant green eyes and ruffled my hair playfully. He walked over to the bike and threw his left leg over to sit on the wonderfully comfortable looking seat. It started with a long roaring purr and I gawked at the beauty of it. Luther looked up at me expectantly. I knew he wanted me to get on the back of the bike but it was a little too much to process. For a whole two and a half years I had begged Raph as much as possible to let me ride his motorcycle, all to no avail, and here was this guy I'd know for only two days offering to drive me around; no begging required! "I'm, like, really aloud to get on this? For real? You're not worried I'll scratch it or screw it up or anything?" I asked, hesitant to go on my first motorcycle ride.

Luther arched a dark eyebrow and smirked at my antics. "Either you get on or you're walking." He stated. A wide grin burst out onto my face and I hopped onto the bike behind him excitedly. He handed me a helmet and, with only a little protest, I placed it on my blond head and latched the latchey thingy that keeps it on. What's that thing called anyway? Meh, no one cares. I placed my hands on the portion of seat that was left behind me to keep myself balanced. Luther looked back at me through the plate of plastic that covered his eyes. He's the reason the full face helmet is cool. "That's not safe." He stated. "You're going to have to hold onto me."

Tentatively, I bunched up the sides of his leather jacket in a firm grip. He laughed at me for being so inexperienced in the ancient art of riding the back of a motorcycle. Jerk.

"That's good enough, I guess." He said; revving the engine to make it growl with the need for speed. "You ready?" He asked loudly.

I hurriedly flicked the eye shield thingy-malingy down and returned his jacket to my anxious grip with an affirmative, "Mm-hm!" And with that we sped off into the streets of New York. We rode against the cool fall breeze; causing it to catch the folds of my unzipped jacket, making it wave around behind me as we went. Feeling like I was going to fall off; I grabbed hold of his jacket even tighter. I could tell this amused him because right after I did that he sped up to what felt like twenty miles over the speed limit. In my brief moment of lost balance and panic I hooked my arms around his stomach and held onto him like my fucking LIFE depended on it because it probably did. We weaved our way through the cars of traffic and even had to go through some allies to get some police off of our tail. You know what they say. It's not the best night of your life 'till you've been pulled over at least once.

Okay. I'm the only one that sais that. But it is so true.

Soon we got to the end of the allies and back onto the roads. The bright lights of the city were beautiful. Everything was so colorful and florescent. I laid my head back down on Luther's right shoulder; letting out a happy sigh. "I never knew this could be so wonderful." I said just loud enough for him to hear me over the sounds of the city night life. At the next turn we went left off into the park. We drove on the sidewalks; which I'm pretty sure is illegal but I don't think he cares. The leaves were starting to fall from the trees and the ones we passed flipped and fluttered in the gusts of wind we left behind. They dance about in the night; orange and red gold and brown all swirling together to paint a breath taking scene. The moon peeked at us through the trees, still smiling at me from it's blue and purple cloud dusted sky.

I let out a small giggle and snuggled one of my freckle littered cheeks into my friends toned back. Just enjoying the company of someone who doesn't see me as a burden or a freak for once in my life. It's such a great feeling. I don't know how to explain it but it's like I'm alive. Like, for real alive, not just LIVING like everyone else. Everyone's always looking for a reason in living; a purpose in life. But I feel so content right now that I don't need any of that. With Luther it's like everything around me is a dream. I don't really know anything about him other than his age and that we have the same past, but that doesn't seem to matter. I lose myself in the moment and close my cobalt blue eyes as we near the exit of the park.

Not long after we rode out of the park we came to a stop at a street corner. We got off of the magnificent beast of a bike and began walking around talking about our lives and looking at things through store and bakery windows. On a few occasions we'd stop and think about going in but thought better of it and continued our walk. We'd look at sweets and meats and guitars through a music store show case and once I found myself drooling over a kick ass masquerade mask. It was black with bright orange designs that swirled and pointed and looped in ways that captured my fascination. If I were to put it on it would hide exactly as much as my orange bandana does and it would point out to cover my nose. However my attention was brought back to reality as Luther tapped me on the shoulder and held out his phone to show me the time. 4:51am...

4:51AM?!

Aw shit! Leo always gets up at 6:00am. And I have no idea where we are!

"Dude, I gotta go!" I yelled in panic. If Leo finds out I sneaked out he's gunna scalp me. No question about it. My demise would be slow and agonizingly painful.

"Easy there tiger. I'll drive you home. No worries." He said turning us around to go back to the bike.

"But I don't know where we are and you don't know where I live. Do you not see the issue here?"

"Relax, Michael. We've just been driving in a bunch of circles. I'll take us back to the bar and you can give me directions from there." He reasoned; petting down my wild blond hair. I grinned back at him appreciatively and hurried back to the street corner where we parked the motorcycle. We rode back the way we came swerving left and right again to pass the cars in our way. I firmly held onto him; waiting impatiently to reach our first destination. We didn't even stop at the bar before I pointed left; holding on even tighter as he made the sharp turn. Most of the way after that was just heading straight, excluding the one right and one left turns that brought us to the hill outside city limits that I live on. We agreed that I could walk the hill by myself; not wanting the bikes noise waking my brothers. I handed him my helmet before giving him a special Mikey goodbye hug. He told me to be sure to text him and, again, we were going our separate ways.

I made it up the hill no latter than 5:58. I made a quick choice and decided that climbing the tree to get in through my bedroom window would be more on the safe side. So that's what I did. I thought I was gunna get caught because of all the damn racket I was making. The fact that it felt like it was taking forever to reach the one branch I needed to get to wasn't helping. Finally, I made it to the window, but I guess today it just decided to be a dick because when I went to open it it made the most god awful screeching noise I had ever had the displeasure to allow assault my ears. I got it open enough for me to slip my slender body through and I rolled across my floor in the most unsuspicious way possible. Which was a good thing because the knocking at my door was brief, if even a knock at all, before it was rudely opened to allow the unmannered gentleman into my room.

Apparently my noise attracted more attention that I had hoped for because Leo stuck his head in to look down at me as I lay face down on the floor.

"Intrude." I said; giving him permission to enter my domain.

"What are you doing?" He asked; opening the door a little more so he could lean on the door way.

"Havin' a little early morning floor roll." I said casually; rolling onto my side to face my oldest brother. He stared at me skeptically. "Oh, come on man. Don't tell me you've never had the need to have a roll across the floor in the morning? God. Leo, sometimes I'm embarrassed to be related to you." I said. Standing from the floor I made my way over to the bed to sit down on the bottom bunk.

"I'm just surprised to see you up so early."

"Well, there's a first time for everything." I said; dusting something greasy off of my jeans. "Do you want something?" I asked; trying to change the conversation. I never liked lying to my brothers but if it meant getting out of this without getting scalped I was willing to lie 'till my pants caught fire.

"Not really. I heard your window opening and thought I should come up and check on you."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Got a little stuffy in here so I cracked it open a little."

"Mm-hm." He hummed. I knew he was suspicious I was up to something. He had the 'I know what you're hiding' look. "Why are you already dressed? Going somewhere?"

"Yes, actually, I was thinking of taken' a walk through the back field. If that's alright with you." I said in the sassy teenager voice. It was my way of telling him that he was getting too nosey and all up in my business.

"I'm cool with that." Leo approved; standing up straight to show me he was leaving. "After breakfast. And could you make some extra eggs today? I'm starving." He requested before walking down the stairs and leaving me to my privacy.

My phone began to buzz and I took it out of my pocket, already knowing who it was.

'Did you manage to ninja your way into the house?' 6:15am

'u no it! XD' 6:15am

~.:(tmnt):.~

Having nothing else to do I went downstairs and started busying myself with breakfast. I'm in a particularly fantastic mood at the moment so I decided to cook up something fit for Kings. Some extra eggs for Leo, a hells of a lot more bacon than usual for me and Raph, and a few pancakes because I know their Donnie's favorite. I don't usually make pancakes cuz it's too much work, but, like I said, I'm feeling generous.

8:30 rolled around before I knew it and I could hear the complaints from the living room as Leo tried to get Raphie off the couch. Without much luck, I must add. I snickered at my oldest brother's failed attempts at authority. He couldn't get a handle on Raph if he tried for a hundred years. I chose to help him out a little.

"Hay, Raphie! Made extra bacon for ya!" I shouted from my spot at the table. I had already started eating by myself; not wanting to wait for them to wake up before satisfying my bottomless tummy. Not five seconds after I said that my red head brother stumbled tiredly into the kitchen. "Morning, Sunshine!" I chirped at him.

"Mornin'" He grunted; sitting down across from me and dumping half the dish of bacon onto his plate. I tried not to laugh. He's hysterical in the mornings weather he knows it or not. For about a half hour after he wakes up he keeps a permanent scowl on his face. It's fairly amusing, to be quite honest. He caught me holding my laughter when I accidently let loose a small snort. He glared over at me; not a mean glare, just a morning glare. "Stop it." He ordered weakly. I just kept it up to tick him off. I love doing this to him in the mornings.

I could hear Leo calling down to Don from the top of the stairs. Again, without much success. He started using my breakfast tactic. "Mikey made pancakes for you!" Both Leo and Donnie soon walked in. Leo sat at the head of the table and started eating while Don started making himself some coffee. I never understood how he could drink that stuff. I mean, I like the stuff from McDonalds. That stuff's the shit! But the way he drinks it is straight up nasty. It's like milky sewer water. Disgusting.

After he brewed his poo water he sat down at the table with us and the house was kinda peaceful. Leo and Donnie were talking about some kind of something. I wasn't really paying attention. I was almost finished with my food when one of Raph's feet brushed up against mine. I tried to shake it off as an accident; thinking he'd instantly pull away after realizing his mistake. Except he didn't. I could feel my freckled cheeks heat up at the contact, but I didn't do anything; just continued eating my food. Then his other socked foot pressed up against my shoe and I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit there with them anymore. I had to abscond the fuck out of there.

I promptly stood from the table and walked to the sink; scarfing down what was left of my bacon and eggs before throwing my fork in the sink and paper plate in the trash.

"I'm out!" I proclaimed; speedily making my way to the back door in the kitchen.

"Where're you going?" Donnie asked; a bit surprised at my sudden outburst.

"Adventuring in the field. Maybe chill in the woods for a while." I explained; avoiding eye contact with my second oldest brother. "Later!" I was out the door before they had time to interrogate me. I went down the steps of the back porch and jogged quite a ways from the house before I started walking. I felt the warmth of the sun in contrast to the cool breeze on my face. The wind swooshed through the trees of the small forest; making them roar against the calmness of Fall. The trail I followed was quiet. The kind of quiet that isn't quiet at all but appeasing. You couldn't hear the uproar of the crowded city; only the singing and chirping of the animals around you. I liked to come here to think.

I guess I should tell you what that business in the kitchen was all about. Since I was old enough to actually have an opinion about people I'd taken a special liking to my hot headed brother. I know it's sick, but I can't do anything about it! I've tried to stop this stupid little crush, but before I knew it it wasn't just a little crush anymore. It was full blown affection. I try to ignore it, and it works for the majority of the time but in moments like this my façade uncontrollably crumbles to pieces. Sometimes I write about it in my journal. You know, to get it off my chest without letting people know about my dark disgusting secret. I keep it hidden under my clothes in my dresser. Sometimes I ask myself if it's really that bad. It's not like we're actually related or anything. We just grew up together. Then I remember how wrong that is and mentally kick myself multiple times. Right before locking my brain in a small dark room to think about what it's done.

"God? Why do you hate me?" I mumbled up to the skies. As soon as I was calmed down a little I went back out to the field. Laying down in the wheat isn't something I normally do, but it was so nice today I thought why not? I laid down in the field and watched the cottony white clouds slowly travel across the chalky morning sky. I felt my cell go off again for the bazilianth time today and I brought it up to my face so I could read the message.

'Hay, Michael. Wanna go out later tonight?'9:05am I laughed at the message. This is how our fun conversations began.

'3 dates in 1 week? ur on a role son.'9:06am

'No. I'm just classy.'9:06am

'oh how lucky i am 2 have such a classy gentleman in my life ;D'9:06am

'Seriously, though, do you want to meet up?'9:07am

'depends. r u planin 2 pick me up & drop me off?'9:07am...'cuz i aint walkin down to the bar nomore! :('9:08am

'Absalutely.'9:08am

'its a d8 then ;)'9:08am We talked for a while after that, but I fell asleep at some point in the conversation. I felt so relaxed talking to him it was stupid. One second I'm gazing up at the deep blue sky, like a vast ocean above me. The wind gently tussling my golden locks along with the wheat that surrounded me. The next my eyes are closing on their own and I'm lost to the land of dreams.

~.:(tmnt):.~

When I next opened my eyes I was being carried through the field by someone very tall. My first thought was that I had wondered too far from the house and some weirdo was trying to kidnap me. The sun was close to being fully set which made it hard to tell where I was. There were two more shadowed figures other than the one currently carrying me. I was out numbered. Instantly I began fighting and thrashing in the hold he had me in. My torso had been hung over his shoulder as he kept me up by holding onto my back and legs. Completely freaking out; I slipped from the creepers grasp and rolled across the grass. I was going to get up and run but, unfortunately I landed funny on a rock or something and a sharp pain shot up through my thigh.

"OOOW!" I shouted; gripping my right leg.

"Mikey!" I heard Leo yell in that worried brother voice he has. All three figures ran to my side and I realized they were my brothers. GOD I'm so STUPID!

"Are you okay?" Donnie asked while him and Raph helped me to my feet.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Except..." I said taking my hand away from my leg to see a little blood smeared on my fingers. "OW! What did I LAND ON?" I screeched in pain. They saw the red liquid on my hand and Donnie went into doctor mode.

"Get him inside." He said calmly. Keeping a straight face. Raph picked me back up; this time in the way you'd hold a sleeping child. Minding my newest injury, he carried me to the house. I wrapped my left arm around the back of his neck and bit my lip to keep from screaming at every step he made. Instead I settled for growling; burying my head in Raph's collarbone. Leo followed beside us asking a whole bunch of irrelevant questions like 'Are you okay?' and 'How bad is it bleeding?' Which I patiently answered with 'I'm good. 'Cept for the agonizing pain in my leg.' and 'Bad enough to be a problem.' apposed to my first instinct which was to just tell him to shut up. We got into the house and I was NOT looking forward to going down the stairs. "Raph, put him on the couch." Don ordered. Oh bless you Donatello!

My red head brother tried to put me down carefully but it just hurt no matter what he did.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" I hissed. Looking at my leg in the light I noticed the large glass shard sticking out of it. "Aww! Fantastic!"

"It's your own fault." Raph grunted from his spot next to me. "If you hadn't wiggled your scrawny ass away from me you wouldn't have gotten hurt." He pointed out.

"I thought you were some creepy serial killer!" I defended myself. "What were you guys doing anyway?"

"You fell asleep outside." Leo chimed in. "You've been gone for a while so we went out to look for you. We found you sleeping in the field. What were you thinking? What if someone saw you?" He asked, like falling asleep outside was some kind of heinous sin punishable by death.

"I assume I was thinkin' I was tired." I said; gritting my teeth. Donnie came back up from the basement and sat on the coffee table; laying the first aid box down next to him. I bit onto my hand as he removed the glass shard. It was a slow and horrible process. I hated it. Then I had to take off my pants so he could get to the wound. It's not like I never casually sit around the house in my boxers, because I do that all the time, but everyone was all up in my space and it was freaking me out. It didn't help at all that Donnie was going as slow as possible with this. He was poking at the bleeding gash in my leg to make sure he got all of the glass shards out. Just sitting there poking the damn thing with tweezers! I swear to you he was enjoying this. He never really got to show his medical skills hardly ever so I think this was a little fun for him. Which is super weird but whatever. Who am I to judge?

Leo sat on my right; dabbing the blood away with a paper towel so Donnie could work better. He accidently scraped the wound once or twice, and I whined in pain trying not to yell at him. Because at least he was helping. Raph just sat there watching like it was some kind of T.V. show! Dick. After the cut was cleaned and bandaged Don told me I fell on a broken beer bottle. That ticks me off! Who leaves a fucking beer bottle out in a field? Retards obviously! Then I remembered something.

Awww! I was gunna have to stay home tonight! Don said I can't be doing too much cuz I had to let the stupid cut heal. God dammit!

"Where's my phone?" I asked as Donnie started putting away the bandages and stuff.

"Oh yeah." Raph said; taking my cell out of his pocket and handing it to me. "You had it out when we found ya."

"Thank you." I said; grabbing it and opening it to tell LH the bad news. I made sure no one was watching as I quickly typed up.

'sorry friend :( i cant hang with u 2night but i should b fine in like 2 days so we can chill out then :) kay?'7:32pm

Donnie told me I should sleep on the couch so I don't have to worry about climbing the stairs. I thought that was a good idea so I made a small Mikey nest on the little couch that faced away from the front door. Then my phone went off again.

'"Should be fine?" What do you mean by that?'7:55pm

'had a lil axident :/ cut up my leg pretty good. gatta stay home. doctors orders.' 7:56pm

'Are you alright?'7:56pm

'yeah. some douche left a beer bottle in my yard. who does that? :( thats like throwin 1 in a ditch while drivin down a highway. stupid!' 7:57

We talked for hours. It was 1:18 when I decided it was time to say goodnight and sweet dreams an all that business. We had talked about everything and anything we could think of then when we ran out of things to talk about we played 20 questions. His doesn't have a favorite song. I don't really get how someone could not have a favorite song. I mean how many songs are there in the world? Kagilians! That's how many. Now I couldn't stop humming the course of 'The Good Left Undone' by Rise Against. That song was probably the greatest thing in all of existence. It's my favorite because I feel like I can relate. His favorite color is green. His favorite animals are snakes. He loves horror movies. Oh! And he can speak three different languages! English, Spanish, and Russian I think.

I thought about how much we've gotten to know about each other in only three days. It's ridiculous. I freakin love this guy! As a friend, of course! Nothing else. He's a really good friend and thats it. But I thought about how different our lives are and how awesome it is that we ran into each other. I mean, Fate was all 'Yo dog. Yalls are gunna be best friends and you're just gunna have to deal with it.' And I'm like 'Sure man. Whatevz' We decided he'd come by Monday and pick me up at midnight. Now I'm all excited! Sadly, that's a whole two days away. I huffed frustratedly at my dumb fucking leg. Stupid gash. I hate you. I hope you burn. But not for real cuz that would hurt.

I turned my head to look at Raph, who was sleeping on the big couch that faced the T.V. He seemed so harmless when he slept. His hair hung in his face; shading his closed emerald green eyes from the light of the television. His tan muscled arms were wrapped around the pillow beneath him like a teddy bear. And tonight he wasn't snoring quite as loud as usual. Definite plus for me because if I can't sleep then too bad. I'm stuck here. It seemed so natural for him to be this relaxed. He grumbled something inaudible then his nose crinkled a little. His grip on the pillow tightened as his body tensed, but then he sighed and sunk back into the comfort of the couch. I wondered what he was dreaming about as I gazed at him. I don't think he could be more petrifyingly good looking if he tried. I know I shouldn't be thinking like that but I was so tired I didn't even try to fix myself. I yawned then almost subconsciously whispered "Night, Raphie. I love you." before drifting off to sleep. That night I dreamt of drowning in the ocean while someone called out to me from the shore.


	3. Chapter 2: Stay Alive

I think I kind of pulled a little of this one out of my ass so... :/ I'm sorry in advance. I just couldn't think of something to make this the best night **ever** for my boys and I was listening to Built For Blame at the time so this is what happened. But I will struggle to make the next chapter a bagilial times better! Until then my dears! :)

* * *

Michelangelo:

Apparently the healing process took longer than expected because the two days Donnie said it would take turned into a week. The week went by uneventfully. I mostly stayed on my phone; talking to Luther Headrick 24/7. I swear to the innocence of sweet little baby Jesus that I would have died if Luther hadn't made my days with our talks. I was so devastatingly board that I almost missed afternoon training. Almost. Other than the occasional bathroom break I was banned to the couch. Don sais it's the quickest way to let it heal but I think he just likes watching me suffer. He knows I can't sit in one spot for too long. I get all antsy. I remember the last time I was bed ridden. I had pneumonia. Six times I tried to leave that bed. Six times in one hour. I was sick for a week. This time wasn't so bad though.

I think I was scaring the guys a little with how chill I was being about this. I only tried to get up twice yesterday. That's some damn good progress if I do say so myself. I also think they know my calmness had something to do with the constant use of my phone. When they'd ask what I was doing I couldn't just tell them 'Oh I'm just having a pleasant conversation via text with the guy who you told me to basically stay, on the opposite side of the planet, away from. Not that big a deal or anything.' Oh no. I decided to take the safe rout. "Ever heard of fanfiction? Really helps the nerves." They would just leave me alone after that.

Now after _one hundred and sixty-eight_ _hours_ of being house bound I can once again escape to the city for a night of awesomeness. I laid around on the couch all day similar to the way I had the six days before this. I took a shower but that's about all the difference that today held from the others. Later that night I made it known to the household that I was moving back into my room. No one was as enthusiastic about it as I was but I never asked them to be so whatever. I waited until I was sure that everyone was asleep before rolling out of my bottom bunk and examining myself in the mirror once more. Faded grey skinny jeans. I know, I know. I wear skinny jeans a little too often. So what if guys don't usually do that? I got a lot goin on here. People with fine ass bodies like mine are aloud to show off. If you know what I mean. If you're catchin' my drift. If you're pickin' up what I'm layin' down. If you're smellin' what I'm steppin' in. Wink, wink. Elbow, elbow.

Anyway, like I was saying. Skinny jeans. But don't get too excited now; that's not all I have on. I also have a sick nasty black t-shirt with red block letters that read 'KEEP CALM and TEASE IT'. If by some mysterious chance you have never before seen Rooster Teeth, go watch it. No joke, it'll change your life. Especially Gavin Free. That boy is very special. And again I have my orange converse, and plaid over shirt. I didn't put on my black jacket because it's nice out tonight. Nice meaning just warm enough to not have to wear a jacket. I tied my bandana around my eyes and went over to the already open window. I was smart enough to open the window earlier so I wouldn't wake anyone up with it's harpy screeching when I left. I slipped through the opening and grabbed onto a branch; swinging myself over from the window sill to the branch next to it. After climbing down the rest of the tree I landed on the ground safe and sound. I pulled out my cell and automatically texted Luther.

'im out :)'11:53

'I'm here.'11:54

With a big grin I stuck my phone back in my pocket and walked around to the front of the house. Down the hill I could see the headlight of the motorcycle penetrating the darkness. As carefully as I could I began running down the hill; making sure I went easy on the gash. It may be closed up enough to walk around like normal, but it could open up again if I'm not easy with it. I made it down the hill in one piece so I assume that's a good sign. We stood in a comfortable silence.

"How's your leg?" He asked looking me up and down.

"Up and kickin'." I assured him; taking my helmet from him and putting it on. "Can we go now?" I asked with a smile; hopping up onto the seat. He laughed at my enthusiasm and slid onto the seat in front of me. He gave me time to wrap my arms around him before kicking back the kick stand and veering around to head left into the city.

"Do you wanna go to the bar? I heard they got a new DJ!" Luther yelled over the sound of traffic.

"Sure, why not?" I agreed; not knowing what else to do in this city that didn't require money. We took the rout that I usually do except we were on street level instead of the roof tops. I wasn't surprised at how much faster it was to get there on the motorcycle rather than by foot because this thing was fucking fast. But, CHRIST, this was a lot faster than walking! We were almost to the bar and I started wondering when my speed demon best friend was planning on slowing down so we could stop. "Um." I began awkwardly as we passed the place I thought we were stopping at. "Hay, Big guy, we just passed it!" I exclaimed.

"I know." He said back. I guess we were going to turn around somewhere and come back to it but after passing five other turn around points I started to doubt that.

"Where are we going!?" I shrieked; a little irked at not knowing where I was.

"It's a surprise!" He said back. I could practically hear the smirk in his gravely voice. He was messing with me! What an ass! We went into the allies; going deeper and deeper into the more shady parts of the city. For a good fifteen minutes we rode around through the allies before driving out into and old road. It wasn't very busy at all besides the one or two cars that would pass every once in a while. On the other side of this particular road are a few abandoned lots that, at the moment, weren't even almost considered abandoned. There was a huge crowd of people surrounding a stage that stood at the very front of the swarming hoard. It was a concert. Luther Headrick has surprised me with a concert. I take back calling him an ass.

"Dude..." I said, watching as all these people crowded around and conversed; waiting for the show to start.

"You like the band Get Scared?" He asked; pulling up beside the stage.

"Are you kidding? Who DOESN'T like Get Scared?" HOLEY SHIT! I'M AT A GET SCARED CONCERT! MY FIRST CONCERT AND IT'S THE GREATIST BAND OF ALL TIME! He got off of the bike and took off his helmet; shaking his head briefly to get rid of the strange ghost hat feeling. I did the same. Then he pulled two tickets from his jacket pocket and held them up for me to see.

"Backstage passes."

"NU-UH!" I said in disbelief; taking mine and goggling at it. "How did you _get_ these!?"

"Friends with the drummer." He said like it was completely normal.

"Really? He isn't freaked out by the whole mutation thing?"

"He doesn't have to know about that." He said; looking at the ground. In my joyousness I closed the few steps between us and wrapped my arms around his torso; smooshing my face against his chest. I made a dramatic sobbing noise and said with an over excited voice.

"I love you so much right now. I'm being serious, like, I would straight up take out my heart and give it to you if I could." This amused him quite a bit because he laughed and wrapped his arms around my shoulders because I'm so short and refused to give him room to bend over.

"You're welcome. Now come on, its gunna start soon." He chuckled out; ruffling my blonde hair. I let him go and he stepped away; holding my wrist to take me with him. He lead the way to the stairs that went up to the back of the stage and passed the scary body builder guy with a flash of our tickets. We went through the huge curtain that separated us from the rest of the back stage. I almost squealed with delight as soon as I saw the band members setting up their stuff. And I would have if Luther hadn't covered my mouth. "Shhh! Don't bother them. Their working." He whispered.

"But...but..." I stuttered as he practically dragged me away from the band. We climbed up to one of the lifts of the stage and sat on the edge. So what if their BACKSTAGE passes. We're sitting up front. All there really is to say on the matter. "So you're, for real, friends with Warren Peace?" I asked in awe.

"How could I get us these if I wasn't?" He said, holding up his ticket.

"I don't know. Maybe you have your ways."

"Have my ways of being friends with Warren Peace."

"Touché." The curtain opened up and the band came out; Joel Faviere stepping up to his place at the mic. He started saying something to the audience but I was too enthralled in the thought of being literally ten feet away from JOEL _fucking_ FAVIERE! When he was done talking the crowd screamed and cheered. Even Luther let out a little whoop of encouragement. The bass started up and then the speakers blared as the other instruments joined in. Their first song was Built For Blame. Nice choice. This song always reminds me of when I was younger. Back before I knew that ending my life wasn't the only way to escape the pain.

When I first realized I had feelings for Raph I was devastated. I thought I was repulsive and sick. I still do, but now I know how to deal with it. I've always felt horrible about myself. I felt remorse that I was one of the reasons that Dad's_ real_ family never made it out of the camps. Guilty for being such a burden on my brothers. Insecure for being so stupid and making everyone worry about me all the time. And the hurt of knowing that I was just an irritating pest to the one person in the world that meant more than_ anything_ to me, well, it was too much. I felt like I shouldn't be alive because I was such an inconvenience to everyone around me. But I struggled to live because I knew there had to be more to life than that. I learned how to go along with the hurt until it was just _there_ like the feeling of hunger or being tired. It's just a part of everyday life now. The fake smile I would put up to fool everyone has become me. But, hay, if that's what it takes to keep breathing than so be it.

I looked over at my friend who bobbed his head up and down to the beat. My friend who I've known for only a week and a half and yet he still manages to treat me like I'm the most important thing in the whole galaxy. My friend who doesn't think I'm a burden, or stupid, or an annoying nuisance. My friend who makes me feel like I'm a normal teenager instead of some freak. And the best thing is that being here with him is exhilarating to the point that I don't want to leave. He looked up at me; drumming his fingers against his thigh at the rhythm of the music.

"How you like it?" He asked over the music.

"It's AWESOME!" I answered; fingering the faint scars on my wrist. It's for reasons like this I decided to stay alive. Luther Headrick is truly my best friend.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Luther Headrick:

I am sitting next to the most adorable thing known to all of mankind. Michael is the single most cutest person I have ever met in my lifetime. Ordinarily I'm drawn to the female gender but Michael is the acceptation. He understands me in ways that no human girl ever could or would be able to. He sees me as a person, not a monster, and I couldn't be more grateful to him. He is kind, witty, funny, and wise beyond his years; weather his siblings agree or not. They don't appreciate him the way they should; by what I've heard of them. He doesn't complain about it but I know from small bits and hints in our conversations that they are constantly putting him down. He doesn't deserve that. He always seems so happy, but the distantly faded scars on his arms suggest that he hasn't always been. The weight of a misunderstood mutant is a heavy thing to carry. I'd know, I've been there. I'm not surprised that he was suicidal once, I was too. But the issues ended long ago for me. He was still facing his. I know it shouldn't be my problem. I'm just a friend. But I made it my problem when the heavens opened up and landed an angel of my kind into my lap. I am dedicated to being there for him the way that no one ever was for me. I want him to feel like he's wanted by someone. Who better to want him than me?

They played a few more songs that he hummed along to happily. At one point he had thought it would be fun to play with my black hair that went down passed my shoulders. He made three braids in it. Then undid those. Then braided it again. Then undid that. And then, finally, they got to the slow one I've been waiting for. 'If they knew'. The piano track started and one of the guys started strumming out tunes on an acoustic.

"Hmm. I haven't heard this one before." Michael said more to himself than to me but I heard him. When Joel started singing the lyrics I could instantly see the empathy in his bright cobalt eyes. That was enough to confirm the theory I had made about his family life.

"They think you're crazy. (...Crazy...) They think you're mad. (...Mad...) They call you stupid, worthless; tell you you're not worth it."

I watched his hands clench into fists. It's apparent that he's made a connection with himself and the song.

"Now you're walkin' back to the place you call home, but you feel so alone. The same hurtful hits, it's your darker place. And your virgin ears, the remarks they make. And if they, if they really knew all of those things that you do in your room... to hide the pain..."

"Hay." I said; tapping him on the shoulder to draw him out of his thoughts. He looked up at me with curious sky blue eyes. "I got you something." I unzipped my form fitting black leather jacket and reached into the right inside pocket to give him the present.

"I bet their minds would change.. yeah. I'll bet their minds would change..."

He unfolded it from the brown paper bag it was in and looked at it with wide eyed wonder. It was that mask he was looking at through the window at that one store the other night. I never acquired scales on my body anywhere other than my back and neck so I never had to worry about hiding my eyes. I had thought about it for a while though and found that it would get tiresome to have to wear the same bandana over and over every day of your life.

"They'd change..if they knew the pain.. Change... 'Cuz I believe..in the scars. I believe..." I could only imagine what he was thinking right now but I hopped it was something good. Quickly; he removed his bandana and replaced it with the new plastic mask. Thick, orange, fabric ribbons attached to the sides of it so he could tie it around his head like he would his bandana. And it wasn't one of those cheap, flimsy plastic things either. It was durable and fit well on his face. It seemed quite comfortable. I was about to ask him how it fits but a genuine smile broke out on his face and he threw his arms around my neck saying a little louder than a whisper, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I chuckled at how absolutely adorable he was and hugged him back around the waist.

"AWWW!" We heard blast through the speakers. Looking over at the band we realized they had been watching our little friendship moment. Joel walked over to us and cooed again. "That's so cuuute." He joked. He knows me from the one concert last year that I got a back stage pass for. It's good to have connections. "Who's this? your brother?" He asked playfully. Michael was speechless. "What's your name, Blondie?" He had pointed the mic out to Michael; waiting for an answer.

"Mikey." He said; trying not to stutter.

"Alright, Mikey. Can you sing?"

"Kinda, I guess, If you count glass shattering screeching as singing." He answered sarcastically. Joel laughed at his brutal modesty and went on anyway.

"Bah! That doesn't matter. Wanna' help me with this next song?"

"For real? You want me to _sing_ with you?" He asked a little awe stricken. "Naw, I'll probably just get boo'ed off the stage." He laughed. Then people from the crowd began yelling out things like 'DO IT! DO IT!' and 'SING MIKEY! SING!'

"The people have spoken, Mike. How could you possibly say no to the people?" Mikey looked at me for help. "I'm sure your brother wont mind if we barrow ya for a minute or two." He said ushering Michael up and over to the mic stand. He stood there seeming out of place while looking at all the people in the audience. They all started cheering and screaming encouragement up at my blond friend.

"Well. The people have spoken." He said; losing any hope of wiggling his way out of this.

"THAT'S the spirit!" Joel howled into the microphone. "Are you ready for this?" He yelled out to the people who cheered even louder in response. They had barely quieted down before He started belting out the lyrics that started the song.

"You've got me shakin' from the way you're talkin'. My heart is breakin' but there's no use cryin'" He sang; shoving the mic in my friends face.

"W-what a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes... If I had common sense I'd cut myself or CURLE UP and DIE!" Michael sang. Unsurprisingly, his voice was actually quite good.

"Sticks and stones could break my bones." Joel sang, then gave the mic back to Michael.

"But anything you say will only fuel my lungs..."M

"Don't mind us, we're just spillin' our guts!"J

"If THIS is LOVE I don't wanna be LOVED!"M

"You pollute the ROOM with your filthy tongue."J

"Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up!" they both sang the last line together.

"Don't mind us, we're just spillin' our guts!"J

"If THIS is LOVE I don't wanna be.."M

"hangin' by the NECK!"Both.

"Before an audience of death!"J

They went on like this for the rest of the song. before tonight I would have never guessed that my adorable, sweet, innocent Michael had an affinity for screamo. A few of the songs after that he had convinced me to stand up and dance with him. I didn't think he'd be very good at that either but apparently I was wrong. To make this quick; the concert was a blast. The crowd loved Michael and they were all truly upset when the concert ended. I gave him time to converse with the band before telling him we had to leave. He said goodbye to Joel and thanked Warren again for the passes he gave us. They said bye back and we were on our way over to the bike.

"Why do we have to leave so early? It's only 2:30 somethin'." He said; climbing onto the seat behind me. I waited for him to hold onto me before starting it and swerving around to head back the way we came. "Are you taking me home?" He asked; sounding a bit upset.

"No. We're going to stop at my place for a while." I said; taking a right turn. "I actually don't live that far away from you, so we can hang out a little longer before taking you back."

"Dude, seriously? Where you live at?"

"You know how your back yard is this big wheat field? And how if you go left you get to the woods? And if you go right It's nothing but field for about a mile or so?

"Yeah?"

"I live all the way across that field."

"In that little garage lookin' thing?" He questioned.

"Yes."

"That's where you live?"

"It looks better from the inside." I told him; taking another turn. We'd be there in about fifteen minutes.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Michelangelo:

Remember how I said the other night was the best night of my life? I lied. That night just so happens to be this one. I _SANG_! ON STAGE! WITH _GET SCARED_! It's like every time we hang out it just gets better and better, but I don't know how we're planning to top this. I _SANG_ WITH _JOEL FAVIERE_! I just can't get over it. WHO COULD? I SANG with fucking JOEL FAVIERE! _GOD_! MYRICALS _DO_ HAPPEN! And that mask he got me! It's FANOMANAL! How am I ever going to repay him for all that he's doing for me? The answer is simple. Nothing. There is absolutely _nothing_ I can do to thank him enough for all the kindness and consideration he's showed me.

At first I thought he was, like, some real hard ass mofo, but he's a total pussy cat! He's a roasted marshmallow. All burnt and bitter on the outside and a complete sweetie on the inside. Luther Headrick is_ the_ nicest guy I've **ever** met! We're going to his house right now and I can't wait to see what it's like. I hope he has pizza. I'm starving!

~.:(tmnt):.~

We drove the back roads all the way to his house. I was so psyched to see inside but something caught my attention. A scrawny looking creep sneaking around the house as we pulled up into the driveway.

"Who's that?" I asked after he had parked the bike and kicked the kickstand to keep it up.

"Who?" He asked; taking off his helmet to squint off into the darkness that enveloped the house. The headlight shined on the corner of the house and I watched as the geek peeked his head around the wall and looked at us through thick nerdy glasses.

"Him!" I exclaimed; pointing at the brunette that hid back behind the house. I felt Luther's body go ridged and heard a deep growl reverberate through his throat. It was pretty freaky. He stood from the motorcycle and carelessly threw his helmet over to me before full on sprinting around the house yelling every damn profanity under the moon. The one thing I could pick out of the ocean of cuss words that _wasn't_ a cuss word was-

"KREEEEEG!"

Hmm. _Kreg_. I'm guessing you're not supposed to be here, Kreg. I sat our helmets down on the seat and swung my leg around to stand up. I followed my friend around the house and had to think for a second to figure out what I was seeing. Luther had pinned Kreg down and was now proceeding to punch the shit out of him. Poor bastard looked like he had a broken nose and jaw. I wanted to step in but I assumed this was a personal matter and was going to let them settle it on their own. However when Luther wrapped his hands around the others neck and started choking him I think anyone would be able to tell that this wasn't something you simply _let them settle on their own_.

"Luther!" I yelled. I ran up behind him and grabbed his arms; trying to pull him away from the suffocating dude below him. "Luther, STOP! You're KILLING him!" I can't say I'm strong enough to successfully pull an enraged Luther Headrick away from his target of violent anger, because I'm not, but I held him back long enough for the guy to scramble away from Luther and run off into the darkness. When I couldn't hold him back anymore he shoved me to the ground and directed his fury at me. He glared at me, like the Devil at a crucifix, and released a feral growl.

"What are you fucking doing? You let him get away!" He bellowed down at me.

"You were gunna KILL him! What was I supposed to do?" I shouted back from my spot in the grass.

"You _should_ have stayed out of my way!"

"And let you_ **kill**_ someone? What the hell is **_wrong_** with you?" I hissed. For a second I thought he was going to hurt me. I was scared. More scared than the time Raph almost smashed my head in with a crowbar. He looked down at me and shook his raven head, like he was snapping out of whatever murderous possession he was under.

"Michael.." He said; taking a step closer. By instinct I flinched away. I just watched him almost commit murder. I think I have the right to be a bit skittish. "Michael, I'm sorry. I..I didn't mean to..." He trailed off. At seeing how sincerely saddened he was at what he had done my heart just melted. I stood up and brushed of my pants.

"Hay, don't sweat it. I'm fine. But what's the deal with that Kreg guy?" I asked curiously. He sighed at the question.

"Come on inside. I'll tell you about that persistent ass." He groaned. I walked behind him around the house and in through the doorway once he unlocked the door. His house was pretty cool. It was all one room excluding the bathroom. His bed sat against the far right and back walls. There was also a couch and a small T.V. The entire room was lit by a single tall lamp that stood at his bedside between the bed and a little table with a digital clock on it. Snazzy.

He unzipped his jacket and threw it on the couch as he made his way to the bed. Letting himself fall back first onto the mattress was the first sign of exhaustion. The second was when he rubbed his face with his hands and dug the heels into his eyes. I simply stood by the doorway; not knowing what else to do.

"Make yourself at home." He said. Relaxing a little; I walked to the back of the room and sat at the end of the bed. "Alright." He said in an irritated voice. He sat up and looked at me with a board expression. "Kreg is this guy who lived at the same orphanage as me when we were kids. He's also the reason why we had to leave." He brushed the razor cut bangs back into the rest of his long braidable hair. "He found out about us so we all went off on our own to start our own lives. Before he could prove we were mutant freaks to the public. I'm the only one that decided to stay in the city. But since he found out where I live he hasn't given stalking me a fucking rest." He sighed; rubbing his right temple at the forming headache. "Sometimes I wish I could just leave."

"Why don't you?" I asked. It's not like I wanted him to leave. I wanted the exact opposite of that. But if it was what he wanted than I wouldn't have a choice but to be supportive. He chuckled in that deep soothing voice of his as he leaned back against the headboard.

"Who would be here to pal around with you if I was gone?" He joked. I let out a little giggle.

"Yeah. Guess you're right." I agreed. He looked out the window at the glowing lights of the city that illuminated the night sky. I fallowed his line of sight and looked closely at how the florescent greens, blues, pinks, and golds differentiated from the twinkling stars that hung overhead in the dark night sky.

"Seriously, though.." He said in a quiet tired voice. "I could never leave this place...It's my home. I'd much rather be caught and tested on again, than being forced to start over somewhere else...I love this god damn, stupid city." His deep green eyes shined with determination and promise. "And I'll be damned if he takes everything I love away from me again.

I looked at him but he just kept looking out the window; lost in his thoughts. I've never seen someone like this before. Never in my life have I ever looked at someone with so much respect. He was so strong. Losing everything he had and still having the courage to hold things dear to him. My heart cracked at watching a tear fall down his face as he bit the inside of his lip; trying to hold the rest back. An aching need to comfort my best friend overcame every thought that told me not to do what I was about to. Cautiously, I crawled over in between his bent legs and sat on my knees. Taking his face in my hands; I slowly turned him to look at me. I whipped away the first tear, and the few after that, and all the others that fallowed. He wasn't some hard ass mother fucker. He didn't have a heart of stone, or nerves of steel. He was just a teenager who grew up alone and scared of everything he ever had slipping away from him. That's why he reached out to me that day in the alley. He didn't want to be alone anymore.

"Hay, it's okay. It's alright. It's alright..." I tried calming him down. He had wrapped his arms around my small body and buried his face in my shoulder. I pet his hear down like I do with Raph sometimes when him and Leo get into a nasty fight. He pulled back and looked at me.

"Can you take the mask off?" He requested. "I've almost forgotten your face." How could I say no to that? I reached behind my head and untied the orange ribbons so the mask would fall off my face and onto the bed between us. It felt so much better to see him without looking through mask holes. His green eyes lightened a bit and I felt happy that I could help at least that much. He brushed over my right cheek with his finger tips and ran his hand through my blond hair. The light of the lamp started to flicker before it completely went out; leaving us shrouded in darkness. The only light was from the far off lights of the city. He fondly placed his forehead on mine and strained out. "Michael..I think I might be in love with you..."

I didn't know what to feel after that. My mind went absolutely blank. For all my life I've been cursed with feelings for my older brother who thinks I'm just an unneeded irritation. And here was the best thing that's ever happened to me; telling me that he loves me. Showing me, in not even a full two weeks, what my own family couldn't in my entire life. That I was wanted. That I was _needed_. That I was **_loved_**. I took his face in my hands again and tilted my neck; gently pressing my lips up against his. He kissed back; wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer between his legs. I rested my arms up over his shoulders and around his neck as he deepened the kiss.

We broke apart eventually. Both of us were panting for air; looking into each others eyes. Electric green met topaz blue and I brought us even closer by hugging him around the neck. "I think I might love you too." I mumbled into his broad shoulder. We both smiled at the pure bliss of the moment. It's for reasons like this I decided to stay alive.


	4. Chapter 3: What You Do To Me

Okay! I hope this chapter is better than the last! I don't think I've been focusing enough on mikey/raph so I tried working on that a little. Hope I did alright. :D Enjoy!

* * *

TMNT

Michelangelo:

After what happened with LH we laid on his bed and talked about our personal lives and feelings and all that junk. He lit up a cigarette, and offered me one but I rejected it outright. We didn't do much at that point; only sat around being buds who happen to like each other more than buds. And we sat and talked for a few hours. I only left because the sun was starting to rise and I knew if I stayed too long my brothers would realize I was gone. Luther wanted to drive me but I told him I could manage on my own. He seemed hesitant to let me go but in the end agreed that it really wasn't necessary to drive me somewhere only a mile and a half away.

He walked me to the door; putting out his cigarette on the doorframe.

"Bye." he said with a sweet smile.

"Bye..." I said back; standing on the very tips of my toes but still not getting high enough to reach him. He laughed and leaned down a little so I could give him a small 'goodbye' peck on the corner of his lips. I sunk down to my original height with a chipper grin and turned around to walk off of the tiny porch.

"Text me later. And come over any time you want." He said as I started walking out of the yard and into the field.

"Will do! Later!" I shouted; walking backwards so I could wave at him. He waved back and I turned back around to start running to my house. It only took about nine minutes to run from Luther's house to my back yard. I still had an hour to sleep in before Leo got up. Awesome!

I went around the house and climbed the tree; swinging my legs through the window before ducking my way inside. I kicked off my shoes and jeans; followed by my over shirt and normal orange bandana that I had put on before I left. Sluggishly, I walked over to my bottom bunk and crawled under the black comforter. Curling up in the corner snuggled in a warm blanket is my favorite way to sleep. I find it feels safer than being sprawled out all over the place. Even though I always end up like that anyway. Not even a minute had passed before I fell sound asleep; thinking of the wonderful night I'd just had. And how maybe, with Luther, I could work passed the feelings I have for my brother, and move on with my life.

~.:(tmnt):.~

I woke up at around noon when Donnie came upstairs to check on me. He nocked on the door a few times before coming in.

"Mikey?" He said as he opened the door. "Are you okay?" He asked; watching me sit up from my bed. He walked over and sat on the bed beside me; reaching over to feel my forehead. "You've been over sleeping a lot lately. Are you sick?"

"Naw." I said as he removed his hand from my head. "Just a little more sleepy than usual is all."

"Okay, well, I just came up to see if you wanted any lunch."

"Mmmm. What kind?" I asked; excited at the thought of food.

"Reheated from last night." Don replied; standing from my bed and going to leave the room. "Hurry down or the guys'll eat everything."

I got out of bed and fished my cell out of my jeans to hook it up to the charger. Then tiredly walked after my brother out of my room and down the stairs. Clumsily, I walked into the kitchen; rubbing at my eye with a yawn. Leo walked passed me to go to the living room. Probably to watch that Space Heros show he likes so much.

"Well, good morning to you too, Leo-nerdo." I said as he bumped into me, and didn't even turn around to say sorry. With an irritated 'Mmm.' I continued on over to the fridge; disregarding the half full pizza box on the counter. Donnie and Raph looked at me in shock as I walked passed my favorite food to stand in front of my red head brother. He looked down at me like I had just killed, like, three orphans and I was aiming the gun at him now. "Dude. You're standing in front of the fridge."

"Oh. Sorry." He said; stepping aside so I could get to the large cooling mechanism behind him. While I reached into the second shelf to get me an apple juice box Raph decided it would be just fine and dandy to just get all up in my business. He grabbed my head so I couldn't move away and started smelling me and shit! Who does that?! I felt my cheeks flair red and was about to tell him to back off when he did on his own.

"What the hell?" I asked throwing up my hands to emphasize the question.

"You smell like cigarettes." He stated plainly. "You're not havin' a relapse are ya?" He asked; folding his arms and giving me a cold glare.

"No. I haven't. I just haven't cleaned this shirt since I quit. That's all." I lied. I mean, yes, I quit smoking a few months ago, but I wear this shirt all the time. Of course it's been cleaned.

"Mikey, if you're having a relapse you need to tell us." Donnie added into the conversation.

"Don, I'm not-"

"What? Mikey's having a relapse?" Leo called from the living room.

"Guys! I'm NOT havin' a damn relapse. Alright?" I stated with a laugh. "I'll take a shower and clean the shirt. There, problem solved." I stuck the little straw in the straw hole and took a long sip of the delicious nectar of the heavens. They didn't seem too satisfied with my explanation but I heard Leo turn the T.V. off pause and Donnie dropped the subject, but Raph. Raph just stood there looking down on me like he had more to say. I stood patiently, sipping my juice box, waiting to hear him out.

My ginger of a brother grabbed my arm and lead me out of the kitchen. I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp but he was a lot stronger than me. He walked me around the corner and up the stairs to his room. He opened his door and dragged me inside; shutting the door behind us. Oh shit. This is how a vast majority of the fantasies I have of us start out! Next he'd throw me on the bed and eagerly climb up on top of me. He would straddle my hips and take off his shirt; throwing it to the floor to show off his tan rippling muscles. Then he'd lean in close and-

He grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me up against his wall, interrupting my disturbing train of thought.

"What's going on with you?" He asked; letting go of me and crossing his arms in that tuff guy stance he does so well.

"What do you mean what's going on with me? I'm not the one dragging people to my room and asking them questions all interrogatively. What's going on with YOU?"

"You've been distant lately. It's like you're not even part of this family anymore. You go up to your room early and don't come out until noon the next day. You haven't been eating as much as I know your bottomless pit of a stomach needs. And when you ARE around us all you do is sit on your phone!" He said; looking down at me like I didn't already know all of this. "And now you're smoking again? Mikey we just got through that whole mess, and you're just going to go back to it? Think about Leo and Donnie. They would be devastated if they knew you were relapsing! And Dad's gunna be home in two months. We covered for you last time this happened, but we won't make that mistake again." He growled; poking me hard in the chest.

"God dammit, Raph!" I exclaimed; smacking his hand away. "I am NOT fucking RELAPSING!"

"BULLSHIT you're not!" He shouted; slamming his hand on the wall beside me so I was trapped in the corner. "I know you, Mikey! And THIS isn't you!" He said; gesturing to me at the word 'this'. "If it's not smoking, then it's something else and we're gunna find out what it is then we're gunna FIX it! Because something's wrong with you, and you need help!"

"I don't need anything! I'm perfectly fine! In fact, I don't think I've EVER been better in my entire LIFE!" I shouted; scowling at him. "There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with me. I'm actually genuinely HAPPY for once in my life, but you're all too blind to see it." We stared each other down; trying to see who would back down first, but, with Raph, we could have done this for hours. "Now let me out." I demanded. He huffed in anger and took a step back so I could open the door and let myself out. "Oh, and.." I began; looking back over my shoulder at my brother. "don't EVER say you KNOW me EVER again. Cuz you and I both know you don't know ANYTHING about me." Then I walked out. Closing the door behind me as I left him alone in his room. I felt bad yelling at him because he's the last person in the world I want to distance myself from and lie to. But if I want to get rid of these awful feelings I have for him than it's mandatory. No matter how painful it is.

~.:(tmnt):.~

After that WONDERFUL conversation I went to the bathroom to take a shower. Maybe getting the cigarette stink off of me would help me think. I know now that Leo and Raph think I'm up to something. Their just not sure what yet. It's only a matter of time before they have Donnie in cahoots with their mission of finding out what I'm doing. After they get him in I'm going to have to up my game, or they'll find out what I've been sneaking out in a heart beat.

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower; drying off before checking my phone for messages.

LH 'Hay, Michael. I'm not going to be able to see you for a few days because I have to law low for a while. At most I'll be gone for two weeks, but I'll still text you every day.' 1:49pm

'Where r u goin?' 2:07pm

'Kreg's got cops crawling all over my place. I'm going wherever I can find, within city limits.' 2:10pm At that point I had put on my packman boxers and went to my room to wrap new bandages around my thigh. I stopped what I was doing and put my full attention on his situation.

'o shit! r u ok? D:' 2:11pm

'I'll manage.' 2:12pm

'Dude, u no id let u stay over if i could. :(' 2:12pm

'Yes. I know. Michael I don't want to stop talking to you, but I'm sure you know how hard it is to drive a motorcycle and text at the same time.' 2:13pm

'yeah sorry. txt me wen ur safe!' 2:13pm He didn't text back after that. I laid down and clutched my phone to my bare chest, hopping he would get to somewhere safe soon.

~.:(tmnt):.~

That night was hectic. I was all over the place trying to get my mind off of my best friend. He's an adult for god's sake. He can take care of himself. But that doesn't mean I still cant worry about him.

I decided to go downstairs and watch a few late night horror movies. I looked through our large collection of movies and picked out a few that I find exceptionally frightening. Paranormal Activity 1, The Ring, and Evil Dead. I thought about picking out another but left it at three for now. I put in Paranormal Activity and sat on the couch to start my distracting night of terrifying movies and such.

By 12:15 I was done with the first movie and moving on to The Ring. I got to the part where that Katie girl gets off the phone with her mother and walks into the room with the staticy T.V. I hugged a pillow to my chest and slowly leaned closer to the screen. Waiting for something to come popping out at me. That's when my ass of a brother grabbed my shoulders and shouted "AAAH!" in my ears. In my fear I screamed like a little girl and flailed off of the couch; hitting the coffee table on the way down. When I realized what had happened Raph stood behind the couch laughing at my 'hilarious' reaction. "Man, you are such a wuss!"

"Am not!" I shouted back; using the table to stand myself up so I could sit back on the couch. "I just wasn't expecting a crazed psychopath to sneak up behind me." He just kept laughing and jumped over the back of the couch to sit beside me. This is how he always tries to make up with me after a squabble. He can't just apologize like any other human being, or mutant being. No, instead, he pretends it never happened and tries to act how we did when we were younger. Back when we were best friends, before the feelings I have for him made me isolate myself and become indifferent to what he did. But it always worked. No matter what he did I would always forgive him. It's just in my nature I guess.

He propped up his arms on the back of the couch at either side of him. His right arm was right behind me and I automatically started thinking of all the movie scenes where the guy would be watching a movie with his lady friend and play that move. My heart fluttered a little at the thought of him pulling that one on me but then I let out a quiet chuckle at watching _RAPH_ play the stretch arms out and across the shoulders thing on anyone. It was just an amusing thought.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked; smiling down at me.

"Nothin'. You're just such a loser it tickles me sometimes." I said letting myself laugh away.

"Tickles ya, huh?" He said in an evil tone. Oh no. Fuck my old person vocabulary! I didn't even have time to react before he attacked my sides mercilessly.

"AHAHAHAHA! RAPH, STOP!" I shouted as he pinned me to the couch. My face lit up in red but I mentally blamed it on the laughter.

"NO ONE ESCAPES THE WRATH OF THE TICKLE MONSTER!" He shouted. I remember around ten years ago when he would chase me all around the house and scream 'Here comes the TICKLE MONSTER!' I always ate it up like it was the most fun I'd ever had.

"RA-HAHAHA-PH! Cut it OUT!"

"Shut up, Mikey. You're gunna wake up the guys." He growled playfully into my ear as he kneeled over me. I squirmed around as his fingers vigorously poked and prodded my sides.

"Stooooooooop!" I whispered harshly; trying to fight away the hands that were tickling me to death. To be honest I wasn't really trying. I was just making it look like I was. Didn't need him knowing I secretly enjoyed this more than I should. He hit a certain sensitive spot below my ribs and I squealed quietly before going back to my uncontrollable laughter. He started laughing too at my futile efforts to push him away. Then I just gave up; grabbing the red t-shirt that covered his shoulders and hiding my face in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry! Uncle. I surrender."

With a victorious grin he sat up. He looked down at me as I lay sprawled out across the couch; trying to catch my breath. I was waiting for him to get off of me and move back over to his side of the couch but he just sat there gazing down at me with those beautiful, perfect, dark green eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked; sitting up on my elbows. I held my breath as he leaned in even closer until he was about five inches away from my face. He ran his right hand through my hair and let out a sigh.

"Are you really alright? Nothing's wrong that we should know about?" He inquired. I think my heart was about to burst from my chest at how damn fast it was going.

"No. Nothing's wrong." Well, something IS wrong, but I'm not about to tell him about Luther's current predicament. That would be stupid. Raph sat up a little more, still looking at me like I was about to break down into tears and explain to him how hard my life is. Which wasn't about to happen in this lifetime. And, anyway, my life isn't hard. It's just complicated.

"Alight then." He said; standing from the couch and going back to his spot. I sat all the way up again but stayed on the opposite side of the couch as him. We went on watching the movie. At one of the freaky parts I jumped and released a shrill 'EEEP!' Raph snickered at my rattled nerves and beckoned me over with his hand. "Come 'ere ya scaredy cat." He said as I crawled over to his side. He ruffled my hair and I let him this time; unlike how I'd usually swat away his hand.

He fell asleep halfway through the movie. By the time it was over I was snuggled up under his arm and resting my head on his firm chest. The credits rolled and I picked up the remote; turning off the T.V. I prayed to the gods that it wouldn't static back to life and birth out a gruesome demon child. The Evil Dead could wait until tomorrow. I wasn't really feeling up to it tonight.

Before he went to sleep Raph had put his legs up onto the couch so I had only a little bit of room to maneuver around. The downstairs bathroom light was still on so I could still see my big brother's face even in the darkness. I went to stand from the couch and go back to my room but I stumbled and slipped. I caught myself before I could hurt Raph or myself, but my heart started pounding like a drum when I opened my eyes to look straight at my brother. He was laying just below me and I tried to fight it. I tried to back up and pull myself away from him! But the temptation was too strong. Very slowly and as quiet as possible I bent down the few centimeters between us and let our lips brush together lightly. I stayed like that for a few seconds before pulling away.

Horrified at what I had just done; I backed away from my big brother and turned around to circle the couch and run up the stairs. When I got to my room I shut the door behind me and covered my mouth with the back of my hand. I couldn't believe what I had just done. The one thing I've been trying NOT to do for all these years I just did! There was _one line_ that I was never supposed to cross and THAT was it! The ONE THING that I told myself to NEVER do and I just did it! I don't belong in this family. I'm disgusting! I don't disserve them! I don't disserve him.

I let out a sob as tears began flooding my eyes and streaming down my cheeks. My back slid down the door, and I fell down to sit on the hardwood floor. The sobs became harsher and I brought my knees up as I ran shaking hands through my messy hair. My fingers gripped tight to my blond locks in frustration while I mentally berated myself with insults and brutal words. 'I hate you! You're revolting! You shouldn't be aloud to live. Why did you survive the testing camps? Why did they accept you into this family? Why are you so fucked up? Why? WHY? **_WHY_**?!' I rested my head back against the wall and continued to cry. And I sat there for a few minutes thinking about how weak and stupid I am until my phone vibrated in my pocket.

I fished it out to unlock the screen and read the message I just got.

'I found a place to crash for tonight. Sorry it took so long. I didn't expect to drive all the way to the northern borders.' 1:13am I smiled at the message and whipped away my tears; standing from the floor to go curl up in bed.

'Where r u stayin? :)' 1:13am

'Some crappy inn. Not the best but it beats the streets.' 1:13am

'lol i hear ya man XD' 1:14am And we talked until sunrise. That's when I told him I needed some sleep. His last text to me was.

'Alright. Sweet dreams, Michael. I love you.' 5:31am I stared at the text and how nicely the words all fit together. It took a little bit for me to fully understand what it meant and that it was really directed at me. I smiled lightly as I felt another tear trail across my nose and down my face.

'I love you too' 5:32am I sent back before letting out a deep content sigh and going to sleep.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Donatello:

It is passed lunch and Mikey isn't even awake. I know something's wrong with him, we all do, we just aren't sure what it is yet. I went up the stairs to the living room and looked over at Leo and Raph who sat on the couch watching some show about rednecks making duck calls.

"Is he up yet?" I asked as I walked up behind the couch they sat on.

"Nope." Raph said; not taking his attention away from the screen. I sighed and went over to the stairs; trotting up to my little brother's room. I didn't bother knocking today because I knew he wasn't going to answer. I walked in and looked at my sleeping brother. His blond hair was a mess and his limbs were sprawled out over the bed haphazardly. I laughed at how funny he looked sometimes. For someone so short he sure could stretch.

I sat beside him on the bed and was about to wake him up when I heard his phone go off by the wall. Curiously, I stretched over my little brother and snatched the phone to look at the screen. It was locked.

"Locked?" I whispered to myself. "What are you hiding, Mikey?" I looked down at his sleeping face like I was searching for an answer. He snored and rolled over onto his stomach and I tensed a little; thinking he may be waking up. However he stayed laying there; asleep as the dead. I looked at the password spaces. There were twelve of them and I laughed because,_ really_, he couldn't have been more discrete? It's the same as his video game name. **BatlNexChamp**. I typed it in and the screen unlocked; opening up to a text conversation between him and someone named LH. The new message sais.

'You awake yet?" 1:32pm

I arched one of my brunette brows and started scrolling to the top of the conversation which looks to have started around two weeks ago. There were so many messages it was ridiculous! They must have been talking for hours upon hours to have this many messages. They talked about everything there was to talk about. Movies, music, books, comics, opinions on sports, religious beliefs, life choices, and even the mutation camps. Mikey told some absolute stranger about us? How could he do that?! They even talked, on multiple occasions, about meeting up! I had to tell the others. I looked down at him again as he slept peacefully in his bed. He looked so innocent and defenseless.

I decided I would talk to him about it first. If it hasn't done any harm yet then who's to say it would in the next twenty-four hours? I put the phone in my pocket and left the room. After that I went back to my lab and waited for Mikey to wake up and come looking for his precious phone.


	5. Chapter 4: Caught

Okay, here's the next chapter! I warn you now; there is a lemon. Not a very good one but it's there :) Hope you like it!

* * *

TMNT

Michelangelo:

Where in the name of FUCKING CHRIST is my phone?! I fell asleep with it in my hand and now it's not here! I have torn my room apart and searched it top to bottom for my baby communication device, but I can't FIND it! I stood in the center of my room hyperventilating like a pregnant woman in labor. If it wasn't in here than one of my brothers had to have taken it! Good thing I put a lock on it.

"Guys have you seen my phone?" I asked as I left my room and went down the stairs.

"Did you lose it?" Leo asked.

"No, I didn't lose it. One of you took it!" I hissed looking my two oldest brothers in the eyes. They looked at each other like I was crazy. Everyone in the house knew not to touch three things that are mine. My GameCube, my food, and my phone. And they also knew that if anyone took one of those three things that I would heck havoc on their soul and make their life a living hell storm until I got it back.

"Are you sure you didn't just leave it somewhere?" Leo carried on; skeptical that some one in this household was stupid enough to take my beautiful baby away from me. I was about to explode and unleash my horrible wrath on everyone within a ten foot radios when we heard Don call up from the basement.

"Calm down, Mikey! I've got it down here!"

I bit the inside of my lip and stomped across the living room and down the steps. When it came to my phone I could be as bad as Raph; sometimes even worse. I got down to the cement floor and walked straight up to my brother who held out my cell for me to grab. I went to snatch it away from him but he held it up out of my reach and taunted me with it.

"Donnie. What the fuck?" I asked; glaring death at the genius that was currently acting like an idiot.

"I could ask you the same thing." He said calmly; unlocking my screen. He shoved the phone in my face. "What the hell is this, Mikey?" He asked as I looked at my texts with Luther in shock.

"Why do you have that?!" I shouted; going to snatch for it again. And again he used his, four inches taller than me, height to hold it away from me.

"That doesn't matter! What matters is that you deliberately told this LH guy _everything_ about us! _EVERYTHING_, Mikey! Think about what he's going to do with info like that."

"Donnie, look-"

"He's going to rat us out to someone for money. He's going to betray you, and bring you down and you're going to take all of US with you!"

"No, Don, listen-"

"You may think he's your friend, but he's not! Not all humans are like April and Casey! Guys like this will lie to you, and cheat you, and PRETEND you're his friend, but let me clear this up for you right now so I can save you the trouble, and pain of finding out on your own. That smile he wears when he's around you is the same exact one he will have when he stabs you in the back and leaves you to wither away and DIE at the hands of government officials!"

"**_DONITELLO!_**"I screamed. It was ear splittingly loud and I looked at my brother to see the absolute shock on his face. Obviously he hadn't been expecting me to do that. I get speeches like this all the time and not once have I EVER blew up in someone's face over it. I took a deep breath so I could go on in a calmer tone. "He's not like that, Donnie. He's one of us. Remember when I told you about him? He's really from the camps. He wouldn't betray me like that."

"How do you know that for sure?"

"Because he loves me." I said; looking up at him pleadingly. I know it sounds like one of those shitty Romeo and Juliet romance lines but I didn't know how else to say it. "And I love him too." Donnie looked at me wide eyed for a second before laughing humorlessly and going to walk away.

"I can't believe this..."

"Than _don't_ believe it!" I shouted, grabbing his arm and yanking him back. "But before you judge me think of April." He looked at me with his full attention. "What would you do if everyone but you suddenly didn't see her as trustworthy and pushed her away? Tell me, Donnie." I said as he directed his eyes sadly at the picture of them together that he kept on his desk. "What would you do?"

He sighed and handed me back my phone. I took it and put it back in my pocket where it belongs. Everything is fine now. Well, almost.

"Have you told the others yet?" I asked.

"No." He answered; looking over at me as I leaned up against the desk beside him. "I thought I should talk to you first. Get your side of the story."

"I'm glad you did!" I chuckled. If he had chosen to tell them then there would be no hope for me ever seeing my best friend again.

"So that's why you're always sleeping? Because you're sneaking out at night to meet Lenard?"

"Luther." I corrected.

"Alright." He sighed; combing his brown hair out of his face with his fingers. "What do you want me to do? I can't just lie to the guys."

"You don't have to lie. Just don't tell them about it."

"And you expect them to simply let it go? Like the fact that this has been eating at you isn't obvious? What if they find out?"

"They won't." I said; deleting the text history of LH. "'Cuz the only ones who know about this is you and me and I can trust you not to tell them, right?" He thought about it for a second.

"What if they start asking questions?"

"Then cover for me." I said in a begging tone. "Please, Donnie?" I knew I was really stretching it here. Don and Leo were as close as brothers in name. Which is closer than by blood, strangely enough. Brothers in name are BFF's for life. Brothers by blood pick on each other and beat each other up and all that cruel family shit. My point is that their close. Donnie tells him everything. And I don't mean that lightly. If Leo REALLY wanted to know what was up with me Don wouldn't be able to lie. That's just how they are. "Please?" I whispered. Donnie groaned.

"Fine."

"Yes! Thank you!" I exclaimed; giving my brother a grateful bear hug.

"But I want full briefing about what's going on with you two. One step out of line and I'm telling Leo." He said as I backed up over to the stairs.

"No problem! Like I said; he'd never betray us." And with a decisive smile I turned around and walked back up the stairs to go watch some T.V.

~.:(tmnt):.~

The rest of the week went by agonizingly slow. Between detailing Donnie in on the current story with Luther, hiding shit from the other two, and avoiding Raph at all cost, because of my guilt, it was kind of straining on the nerves. When I got the text from Luther saying he was coming home I could hardly stop myself from freaking out. Being stuck in this house is making me stir crazy! I couldn't WAIT to get out! I guess I should tell Donnie I'm heading out tonight. This is definitely going to be the highlight of my day. That was sarcasm, if you couldn't tell.

I practically danced my way out the door of my room and risked tripping my fine ass down the stairs. Scratch that. I _did_ trip my fine ass down the stairs. After my near death experience of almost breaking my neck in the fall I stood straight and brushed myself off. Noticing my brothers looking at me with questioning stairs I stuck up my nose and closed my eyes as I indifferently walked behind the couch and over to the basement doorway. Head held high and hands behind my back the whole way there. When I got to the dark blue sheet that hung in replacement of an actual door I cracked open one of my eyes to see Leo and Raph still gazing at me oddly. Hurriedly, I closed my eye again and began taking the basement stairs two at a time to get away from the inquiring eyes of my brothers. My rushed dissention of the stairs was loud and apparently funny because as soon as I was down on the concrete I could hear them burst into laughter. Or maybe their laughing about something else. Pfft! I don't know.

"What are you doing?"

"Hi, Donnie."

"What are you doing?" He repeated himself.

"I was trying to be _inconspicuous_." I hissed in a whisper.

"Oh, Michelangelo, you are the_ king_ of inconspicuacy." He sighed sarcastically.

"I know. I'm kind of a big deal." I smiled.

"What do you want?" He asked; turning back to the whatever it was he was working on.

"I thought I'd tell you that Luther's comin' home tonight so I'm gunna go hang with him for a few hours." I said. He turned and looked at me like I just told him he had cancer. "Don't freak out if you go to my room and I'm not there. But usually I don't leave 'till everyone's asleep so it's not like it would matter." I went to go back up to my room but he held me back with more words.

"Wait. How long are you going to be gone?" He asked.

"Merrr." I thought; sounding like a retarded cow. " I don'no. I'm probably leaving at eleven or somewhere around there so I'll be back at about four or five."

"Mmm..." Donnie sounded out unsurely.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked. He scratched at his head under the bandana that held back his hair.

"Could you, maybe, come back at two?"

"Two?" I asked incuriously. "What's going on at two?"

"Nothing. I just don't feel comfortable letting you spend six to seven hours with this guy I don't know."

"Don, dude, I do this all the time." I tried to reason.

"Exactly! And It's scary to think that one of those times you could have been killed or hurt or caught, and we wouldn't have known where you were or how to find you." He explained. I pouted and looked away. I wanted to tell him not to worry about me, but how could I ask someone to stop worrying about their brother? "Please, Mikey?"

"Two thirty." I bargained. He smiled warmly at me.

"Thank you." He said; going back to his machine thingy. I left him alone to do his Donnie thing.

~.:(tmnt):.~

It was 10:37 and I was so excited to see my best friend that I decided to leave early. I told him I had to be back early and he agreed that it was probably for the best with this whole Kreg thing still not fully passed over yet. He said he didn't want me getting involved in that big mess of bullshitery. Poor guy. So, anyway, I'm at his front door tapping on the wood of the thin block between me and the warmth of the inside. I heard him stand from his bed and walk over to unlock his door and open it with a small creak.

"Hello, Michael." He smiled down at me happily. I was overjoyed to see him. I kept my feet firmly planted to the porch as I stretched out my arms and let myself fall forward into his arms. A little like an over attached child would do to a parent after a day of work. He laughed at my stupidity and dragged my limp body inside so he could shut the door. He tried to let me go so I would stand up on my own but I refused. I wrapped my arms around his waist; forcing him to lug me around wherever he went. He rolled his brilliant green eyes at me and walked slowly over to his bed. I had to let go so he wouldn't sit on me but when I sat beside him on the bed I reattached myself to his neck. He hugged back and I let my head rest on his shoulder.

"I missed you." I said; nuzzling my forehead into his neck.

"I missed you too." He said back. He pushed away from me just far enough to take in my full appearance. "Where's your bandana?" He asked; looking at my bare face.

"Figured I wouldn't need it." I grinned up at him. He smiled back and ran his thumb over the scales at the corners of my eyes. His hand moved from my face to entangle itself in my hair as he grabbed my hand with the other; intertwining our face down fingers. He leaned in and laid a loving kiss on my lips; pressing just a little too gently, like he wasn't sure if he was aloud to do this. I helped him out by kissing him back and sliding my unoccupied arm up around his neck.

He got a bit bold in the moment and nibbled softly at my bottom lip; asking silently if we could take it a step farther. I let my lips part enough for him to slip his tongue passed my teeth, then it was on. Like Gandalf VS Dumbledore in a magic battle. Only more passionate and less old. Yeah I could have probably explained that better. Anyway, he won. He wanted to go even farther. It was evident by the way he fingered the hymn of my jeans longingly. That's when I went full on Gandalf the Grey with my favorite line.

"You shall not pass!" I shrieked as we pulled away for air. He looked at me confusedly for a second before he chuckled and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Whenever you're ready, Michael." His voice was tired and peaceful.

"You sleepy?" I asked innocently.

"Just a smidgen." He said; holding up his thumb and index finger to show the amount of tired he was.

"I can come back tomorrow, if you want."

"No." He yawned; removing his head from my shoulder and flopping down into his pillow. "Come'ere." He said; gesturing me over with his hand. "Come lay by me." I did as I was told and rested my head on the pillow beside him. He turned over toward me and slung his arm around my side; pulling me closer. "I had a dream about you the other night." He whispered out groggily.

"What was it about?" I asked; bringing my arms up to lay my head on my wrists.

"I was in this room. And it was pitch black." He started. I could see his eyes moving behind his eyelids as he tried to explain the dream to me. "The window was all boarded up and I couldn't see anything but a white light through the keyhole of the door." He paused to yawn again before carrying on. "It was like I was in that room for days. Even years. And every day and every night all I could see was this little speck of light from the hole in the door. Sometimes I'd look out the hole to see people. All kinds of people that have nothing to do with each other walking passed me in this vast white space that they all were in. There were no buildings or streets or anything. Just a bunch of people. And they were all wearing white. I would call out to them for help or bang on the door or something, but they just kept walking by. Every day I'd do this and they would ignore me like I wasn't even there. I was about to give up on the light and accept that I was gunna be stuck in this room for the rest of my life but something told me 'one more time, cry out for help just one more time.' so I did. I went over to the door and peeked out the hole like every other time. This time was different though. Instead of everyone wearing white there was one person off in the distance who wore a rich, vibrant, orange hoodie and torn up blue jeans. He also had an orange bandana tied around his neck and a black masquerade mask covering around his eyes. I felt absolutely certain that if I called out loud enough the new stranger would hear me so I screamed and I cried and I beat the door until I had splinters and the most amazing thing happened." He stopped; opening his bright green eyes to look into my blues.

"What happened?" I asked urgently; wanting him to go on with the story.

"He saw me." He breathed out; brushing my blond hair out of my face. "Out of thousands upon thousands of people; he was the one who cared enough to see me. He walked against the left and right currents that everyone else walked and made his way to the door that kept me locked in. Then he opened the door and offered his hand to help me out of the dark. He smiled at me and said 'It's okay, Big guy. I'll help you.'" He continued as he stroked my hair caringly. "I woke up crying that night. And all I can think about is you." He placed an adoring kiss to my head. "Your colors shine brighter than the purest shade of white." We looked at each other for a few seconds before giving in to another sweet kiss. Not a deep heated one. Just a little childish thing. Like the cute little pictures on Google that you stumble across of a little boy kissing a bashful little girl and then there's this little romantic quote over at the side that makes you go 'aww!'. We pulled back to look at the others eyes with smiles on our faces.

"I love you." I said, sliding my fingers over his cheek and jaw. He laughed a short calm laugh.

"I love you more." He retorted.

"'Course you do. You're obsessed with me." I grinned playfully.

"Yep. That's what it is." He snarked back. We went on for the few hours we agreed I should stay, and too soon for my liking the time came for me to leave. Begrudgingly, I got up from my spot between him and the wall and gave him a quick kiss before heading over to the door.

"See you tomorrow."

"Goodbye, Michael." And I was out the door and into the field; on the way back home.

"Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight. Just a touch of the fire burnin' so bright. No I don't wanna mess this thing up.. I don't wanna push too far! Just a shot in the dark that you just might.. Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life! So darlin' I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight..." I sang as I walked farther away from Luther's house. I sang it as horribly as I could bring myself to because I hate that song. It's stupid, but catchy. I hate all songs like that because they have the potential to be really good or really terrible. This one just so happens to be one of the good ones, but only because I like singing it as horribly as humanly possible. Also it was kind of fitting.

~.:(tmnt):.~

When I got to the house I climbed the tree to get into my room like I usually do, but something wasn't the same as last time. My light was on. I didn't leave my light on. I told myself maybe Donnie came up here and turned it on. Yeah, that was probably it but why would he do that?

Considering it was 2:30am I assumed everyone was asleep so I didn't bother changing out of my clothes before opening my door and walking downstairs. I was going to go to the basement and give Donnie the deets of the night but just after I made it down the stairs the lamp was turned on to reveal a not so happy Leo and Raph and an apologetic looking Donnie. The room was silent for a few seconds.

"What the shit, Donnie?!" I yelled as calmly as someone can yell at their total snitch of a brother.

"Sorry..." He said; biting his lip and looking down at his lap. "They were persistent."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Donatello." Leo said; not taking his eyes off of me. "You're not the one who's been sneaking around behind our backs." Ooh. The father-parental figure voice. He's really trying to dish out the 'I'm disappointed in you' speech here isn't he?

"Leo, listen, I can explain this in a way that can save us all a lot of trouble and effort." I paused. "If you give me enough time."

"What's there to explain?" Raph butted in. "Not only did you do exactly what we told you _not_ to do, but you told him everything and anything there is to know about us. Including where we fucking _LIVE_! You do know what's going to happen to us now, right?"

"Guys, he isn't like that!" I shouted; getting really tired of having to give this talk. "He's one of us! Who's he going to tell about us? His parents and big brother he lost in the camps? Oh no, wait, maybe he'll tell the crocodile that they used to mutate his DNA!"

"He's _dangerous_, Mikey." Leo chastised.

"You don't even **_KNOW_** him! How can you say with a hundred percent certainty that he's a menace to society?" I shouted; throwing up my hands.

"Not necessarily to society, but to this family he's a threat."

"Oh, yeah, because he's going to walk up to a government agent and say 'Hay ,friend. Me and a bunch of these other guys are mutated freaks. Wanna do the world a favor and wipe us off the face of the Earth?' Yep, cause why not?" I shot back in a sarcastic tone. "So let me just call him and tell him we cant be friends anymore because my brothers are being mondo dickheads. While I'm at it, why don't I just call up that chick you like at the gym? Karai, right? What's her father do for a living? Work as a government official? Wow. Nice choice, Bro. You sure know how to pick 'em."

"Well, that's not-" Leo tried to say, but I cut him off.

"Yeah, and maybe I'll text Casey and April later." I said; seeing Donnie flinch at the mention of her. "Tell them to fuck off 'cuz their a _THREAT_ to our _life style!_"

"Why are you getting so defensive over this guy? It's not even that big of a deal." Raph cut in. I stepped up to face him, only the couch standing between us as I glared him down.

"Not that big of a deal?" I asked with a frustrated chuckle. "Not that big of a- Raph, do you know exactly what it is you're asking me to do here?" He didn't answer. "You're telling me to ditch my _BEST fuckin' FRIEND_ because _you_ don't approve of him!"

"Family trumps friends, Mikey." Donnie mumbled loud enough for us to hear.

"So you're saying that if we told you to stay away from _April_ that you'd do it?" I asked rhetorically. I already knew the answer from the other day so I didn't have to look to know that he was looking at the floor sadly. "You're guys are such hypocrites." I seethed. "Some family you are. Telling me to get rid of one of the few people I love more than life itself."

"Than leave." Raph said bluntly. "If you're _damaged_ enough to choose some guy over your brothers than go ahead. You don't _deserve_ this family."

"**Raph!**" Leo shouted; looking back and forth between me and my red head brother.

"I mean it, Mikey! _Get the fuck out_ and take your _backstabbing bullshit drama_ with you 'cause we're _**done**_ with it!"

I smiled up at him with the most believable fake smile I could manage before whispering out. "_Fine_." I tried to hold back the crack in my voice from the strain it was taking to keep from crying. It hurt seeing that expression of hate on Raph's face and knowing it was directed at me. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest. You try not to cry when someone's stabbing you in the chest. I could hold back the sob but the tears were something else. They pricked at my eyes and threatened to spill over. Raph looked at me like he had just realized what he was saying and tried to walk around the couch to get to me. I wasn't going to wait for his apologies. "Who needs you guys anyway!" I shouted before running to the door and slamming it shut.

I ran around the house and went as fast as my legs could carry me through the field. I didn't look back once, not even when I heard my brothers yelling out my name as they searched the front yard for which way I went.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Again I found myself standing at Luther's doorstep. I knocked a few times on the door and he opened it curiously. When he realized it was me his eyes widened in worry.

"What happened?" He asked; grabbing my shoulders and leaning down to be at eye level with my down cast gaze. I tried my best to control the tears and put up my usual carefree grin but I couldn't keep the shakiness from my voice.

"Is it cool if I stay here for a few days? Kinda got shunned from the household." I snickered at myself. But then my smile fell and I lost hold on my demeanor. I threw my arms around his chest and let go of the hysterical balling I had been pushing back. He hugged me back; petting down my hair soothingly.

"Shhh~ It's okay. You can stay as long as you want." He said; leading me inside. We sat on the bed and after my ridiculous tears fest I told him what happened. His face contorted into rage at what my brothers had done but he decided to save it for later. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. People shouldn't be forced to choose between the people they care about. It's cruel." He said; continuously combing his long fingers through my hair. I think he finds it comforting because he does it a lot.

"Meh. I'll get over it. And I'll have to go back sooner or later cuz dad's gunna be back in a few months." I said; scratching the back of my neck. I looked up to see him looking at me with sympathy. Not pity which is good because I didn't need pity right now, I needed him. "Hay, Luther?"

"Hmm?" He hummed.

"What's sex like?" I asked curiously. He looked up at me with an arched brow. "My friend, Casey, said that the best thing to get over somethin' like this is with 'some good, old fashioned, dirty sex'. In his words exactly." I explained. "Is that true?"

"For some people I guess." He said whimsically. "I've never had 'get over something sex' before."

"Wanna try it?" I asked, but it wasn't really a question. I started kissing him and he kissed back the way we had a while ago. Our tongues fought for dominance and yet again he won; pushing me down on my back to lay on the bed. He crawled in between my grey skinny jeaned legs as we kept going with our kissing match. Lost in the heat of the moment I thrust my hips up into his; grinding against him. "Luther..." I moaned out. He pulled away to look down at me longingly.

"Michael, maybe we shouldn't do this. I don't think your ready yet." He said; speaking against his want to keep going.

"Too late for that now." I smiled; unbuttoning my jeans and pushing them down an inch or two. I lifted my black shirt a little more and watched his eyes trail me up and down with lust. "Please, Luther?" I begged with a reassuring grin. Letting him know that I could handle it. "Help me out here?" He gazed at my sky blue eyes and nodded, then wasted no time in attacking my neck with his mouth. He kissed and licked and nipped at my skin; running his hands under my riding shirt. I sat up and removed my orange over shirt before letting him help me take off my black shirt. When it was off and thrown on the floor he pushed me back down and grinded up into my hips roughly. "Ah!" I yipped in surprise.

"I'm sorry! Did that hurt?"

"No, that was awesome. Keep doing that." I panted needingly. He chuckled and kissed my lips before moving back to my neck. He'd move his hips down and I moved mine up to meet his. He traveled from my neck to my collarbone and from there to my chest. Tauntingly, he slid his tongue down my stomach as he hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of my pants. He slid them down as slow as he possibly could just to drive me wild. Grabbing my thigh he pushed it forward so he could free my leg from the clothes. I lifted my other leg and removed the jeans with my other foot; letting them fall to the floor as he latched his fingers onto the hymn of my briefs.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked cautiously.

"Hmm. _Am_ I sure? Maybe I should put my clothes back on and think about it for an awful cock blocking amount of time." I laughed; voice smothered in sarcasm. He grinned at me and shook his head.

"Alright, smartass." He took his hands away from my underpants and took off his shirt. He had a _very_ fine torso with a pale chest and rocky abs. I extended my arms up to reach for him. He bent down and I snaked my arms around his neck and down his back. I felt the scales that covered his back and the edges of his spine that pointed out into spikes. Just like a crocodile has. "Freaky right?" He panted as he thrusted against me again.

"Nnn...not r-really." I said; trying to clear my voice. "Actually... I find it Ah!"

"Ah?"

"Attractive..." I finished. He snickered at my pleasure and went on grinding against me. "Are we g-gunna...get any farther than this?"

"Do you want to?"

"All the way."

"Then yes." He answered; undoing his jeans and pulling out his hardened erection. I pulled down my remaining clothes and threw them aside. "This is your first time?" He asked. I nodded; a little embarrassed at this. I directed my eyes at something else in the room to avoid eye contact. He stuck three of his fingers in his mouth; wetting them with his saliva. Once he deemed them slick enough he took them from his mouth. "Since you haven't done this before I'm gunna try to make it a bit easier for you. Alright?"

"Mm-hm." I nodded. He slid one of his fingers inside me; making me tense up. It didn't hurt or anything, it was just a little uncomfortable.

"Loosen up." He whispered; nipping at my ear. I did as commanded and let my hips relax. "There you go." He slid in another finger; stretching me out. This, unlike the last one, was actually quite painful. I tensed up again; gripping the bed sheets, but forced myself to calm back down. After I adjusted to it more he inserted a third finger and did the same thing. Surprisingly, I kept myself chill until he took out his fingers and got into a good position. "You're so cute." He growled sexily; kneeling down to kiss me again. My legs were propped up over his shoulders as he aligned himself up with my dungeon. Yes. I call it the dungeon. "This is going to hurt at first but it'll get better. I promise." He swore. "Ready?"

"Yeah." I confirmed; biting my lip to ready myself for the pain. Slowly, he pushed into me; not going too rough in fear of hurting me. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" I hissed to myself. He paused and waited for me to get used to the feeling of him inside me before pushing even farther. I panted and groaned and whined as we struggled to get me used to his size. Finally he was up to the hilt inside me and I gave permission for him to move.

It's a good thing I like it rough because the last thing he wanted to do right now was hold back. I told him it was alright to be as rough as he wanted. And he did. Again and again and again and again he thrusted into me until he found that one spot that would make Jesus H. Christ himself scream out in pleasure. Let me tell you this was _the_ best thing I've ever felt in my life. Well, second to just simply _being_ with him. After I came he pulled out and finished himself off while smashing his lips into mine.

Both of us were breathless and spent. He rolled over off of me to lay at my right on the bed. I curled into his side and let out a pleased sigh; laying my head on his chest. He threw his arm around me and nuzzled his face into my hair.

"I love you." He said; placing a kiss at the top of my head. "I know I say that a lot but I feel like I can never say it enough." I giggled at how happy he made me and how genuine his feelings are. It made my eyes water a little but I was done with crying for tonight.

"I love you too." I said back; lifting my head to plant a kiss on his lips. I wish this thing we have could last forever.


	6. Chapter 5: Lost Then Found

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while :/ my grandma died then school started back up so I didn't have much time to work on this. Also I switched from first person to third halfway because I'm thinking about going back and redoing the rest of the chapters in third person, but that depends on you guys. Please tell me what you think. One last thing. I give thanks to those who have reviewed my story :) you have no idea how_ happy_ it makes me to know you guys like it. So thank you. Alright :D ENJOY!**

* * *

TMNT

Leonardo:

Almost a week has gone by since my baby brother ran away. A week of stress and worry and false optimism that he would just show up at the door step; wanting to come back home. I could only imagine the worst happening to him and I didn't want to think about it. The guys are a disaster. Raphael is angry all the time. Even more than he usually is. And Donnie hasn't eaten much since the night Mikey ran out. But I don't blame him. I haven't been able to sleep. At all.

I've been dying to have him home again. My poor, sweet, innocent, little brother. Sure he's made some terrible mistakes in his sixteen years but Raph was out of line by telling him to leave. I still haven't talked to my ginger younger brother since that night. The bastard banished what was left of my biological family off to fend for himself. I wasn't ready to forgive him yet. When our parents died I felt like Mikey was all I had left. It was only because of him and the help of Teng Shin that I lived through the mutation camps. I felt like he was my responsibility and I needed to protect him at the risk of my own life no matter what happens. I still feel that way.

Believing there was something in his room he may have left behind to give a hint at where he went; I had the guys come help me search it. Donnie was willing to do anything to help find our brother but Raph was a bit difficult. I know he regrets saying what he said to Mikey, but he has this stupid bravado to keep up. Keeps saying that what he said was true and he couldn't take it back if he wanted to. But we got him to help anyway.

Don looked under his bed in the mess of random junk. I searched his closet, and Raph went through his drawers. After looking through the whole room we came up with nothing. We eventually gave up and went back downstairs. Me and Donnie sat on the couch; discussing what all Mikey told him about his nightly escapades. Raph went straight to his room without a word. I found it strange that he didn't go to the training room like he normally does, but it was better than listening to him yell in rage at not being able to get a move right or something like that so I didn't pay it any mind.

I bet wherever Mikey is he's with Luther Headrick. So far we have nothing on Luther. Therefore, we have no leads on Mikey. I hope that wherever he is he's safe.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Donatello:

I felt so _guilty_ for telling Leo what was going on. I was only doing what I thought was the right thing. I didn't even mean to tell them, I just _blurted it out_. Now Mikey's gone and it's all my fault. I should have kept my promise and left it alone. His phone goes straight to voicemail which means it's turned off, and I can't track it if it's turned off. I set up a tracking system so that when his phone turns back on it alerts us. I don't think that's going to happen though.

We went searching through his room and didn't find anything. If we had any hope of finding him it would be in there. Why it had never occurred to me to ask him where Luther lives is one of the major questions I keep asking myself. The other questions are '_why did I rat him_ out?', and '_why did I even got involved in the first place?'_. I should have never gotten involved. It was none of my business! And now I'm crushed with the overwhelming concern that I may have condemned my little brother to death. If he gets caught out there it's on my head. I'm not sure I can live with myself if the circumstances come to that. I just want him back home.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Raphael:

_'Shit!'_ I thought to myself. It replayed in my head like an angry mantra as I slugged away on the punching bag hung up in the training room._ 'Shit!'_ Jab. _'Shit!'_ Left Hook._ 'Shit!'_ Uppercut. _'Shit!'_ Twist Punch.**_ 'SHIT!'_** Cross.

That last one sent the sand filled bag swinging with the impact so hard I thought it was going to break from the chain that kept it suspended. I didn't care though. I was too pissed to care much about anything at the moment. How could he just_ leave_ us like that? I know I told him to, but I didn't think he'd actually go and _do it_! I thought maybe if I told him off he would realize we were more important than some guy and get his priorities straightened out. But it was a _stupid_ idea! Mikey's a sensitive kid, and I should have known better than to yell at him like that.

The punching bag swung back in my direction and I grabbed both sides of it to keep it from moving. I rested my forehead against it's cool leather and let out a deep, regretful sigh. Thinking over the argument again in my head; I couldn't get my little brother's hurt expression out of my mind. How could he betray us? How could he leave us behind like trash? How could I say those things to him? I hate myself sometimes.

The door to the training room opened and I didn't have to look to know it was Leo who stood in the doorway. Wonder what he wanted. He hasn't talked to me in the whole week Mikey's been gone so I'd imagine it wouldn't be a friendly 'What ya doin'?' or 'How ya holdin' up?'.

"Wha'da ya want Leo?" I asked calmly; unwrapping the gaws from around my knuckles.

"We're looking through his room for a hint at where he went. Come help us." He ordered coldly; arms crossed with an icy glare directed at me.

"I'm not your dog, dude, I don't have to listen to you." I informed him; putting the protective punching gaws away and walking back to my spot at the punching bag.

"You're right, Raph. You _don't_ have to listen to me. But it's **_your_** fault Mikey ran away so I just thought maybe you had a _soul_, and weren't _heartless_. Sorry, my bad. I forgot you don't _give a shit_ if our baby brother _lives_ or**_ dies_**." He seethed at me. He turned around and slammed the sliding door shut; ending our conversation. I grit my teeth and clenched my fists.

"It's not like I **meant** for him to leave!" I shouted after him before turning around and landing one last bone crushing punch to the bag.

Needless to say; I went upstairs to help my brothers look for clues. After a while of calming down though. I opened the door to Mikey's room and sorta just stood in the doorway awkwardly. Donnie smiled at me sadly because he knew I was trying to make up for what I had done, but also knew I couldn't. Leo coughed to get my attention.

"Are you planning to stand there and watch?" He asked; continuing to look through the closet. I glared at the floor and made my way to the center of the room; thinking about what to search first. Leo seemed like he had the closet covered; plus I just didn't want to be near him right now, but Don looked like he needed help with the bookshelf. So I helped him go through notebooks and sketch pads. I had almost forgotten what talent our little brother possessed. I would never say it out loud, but his drawings were fantastic! I passed a few of winged people falling from the sky, and others of us, and some of himself as a full fledged human. I went through book after book of artwork with landscapes, and monsters, and creatures and scenes that would blow your mind. They were awesome, but not very helpful to our cause.

Donnie and I finished the shelf and he moved on to under Mikey's bed. I cringed as he pulled a half eaten slice of moldy pizza from the dark depths of his bunk bed and threw it across the floor in disgust. He shivered and went back to work. I went over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. The strong sense of deja-vu swept over me as I went through the clothes. Not long ago we searched this room; looking for Mikey's stash of cancer sticks. Not fun. I had went through the first two drawers and couldn't find anything. I almost didn't check the last two knowing I wouldn't find anything, but I looked anyway.

When I opened the third drawer I did the same as I had to the two before it. Lifting up the folded clothes and searching fore something suspicious. Instead of nothing my hand touched a hard surface that wasn't the bottom of the shelf. I moved the clothes out of my line of vision and found another book. A hard covered, black, sketchbook. I pulled it out and flipped through a few pages to see it was a multi paper book. The kind with some pages that were for writing and others with lineless drawing paper. I landed on a page to read in my head_ 'I'm disgusting. I'm a heinous abomination of a person. My sin is the most unforgivable of all blasphemy.'_ I shut the book silently; keeping my thumb on the page as I tried to wrap my brain around what I was reading. However I opened it back up and began to read again._ 'I shouldn't be alive. My family would be much better off without me. I am a vile pest. An ignorant misfit that doesn't deserve the life I've been given. I am a foul monstrosity to all of the world, and myself.'_ Looking over at the picture beside it on the neighboring page; I stared in horror.

It was a self portrait of Mikey laying on a white tile floor. The picture was limited to his torso and his arms lay out on the floor beside him. Many long gruesome gashes bled out from his arms and shaded bruises of self strangulation drawn wrapped around his neck. There was a dark gory whole in his chest where his heart should be as the blood pumping organ lay in the palm of his left hand. Blood pooled around him in deep pencil pressure marks; staining the tips of his messy hair. It was all in black and white to show there was no emotional pride or joy in the drawing. But the most disturbing of all was the look of absolute piece on his shaded, freckled face. A few tears were sketched falling from his closed eyes and his lips curved up in a small happy smile. He looked like he was sleeping.

I stuck the book down the front of my jeans and covered it with my baggy black t-shirt. I wanted to look through this to see if there's anything inside that might tell us where he went, but I didn't want to upset the others with all of the apparent depression that resides inside our baby brother. Shortly after we finished looking around. We exited the room and went our separate ways. Usually I would go straight to the training room to work out some pent up stress. This time I went down the hall to the right on the opposite wall of Mikey's room. I opened the door and walked in; pulling out the note/sketchbook from it's hiding place. I fed my pet turtle, Spike, right quick then turned on the desk lamp so the room would have a more helpful source of light other than Spike's heat lamp. Sitting on my bed; I took a deep breath; readying myself for the reading I was about to do. Readying myself for the truth of what lies behind my little brother's carefree grin.

~.:(tmnt):.~

I sat in my room and read for hours. Every secret, every lie, every self-hatred comment I could imagine and some I could never dare to think of. Drawings and sketches of fear and loathing and suicide. And love. If I had known this book would change the views I have on my little brother and best friend I still would have read it. There's no denying that. I just couldn't believe what I was looking at. After reading every word in every sentence of every paragraph of self disgust and emotional agony and wincing at bloody pictures and drawings of death I found myself awe stricken to finally receive a reason to all of his feelings. To understand why he finds himself so horrendously appalling.

I flipped the page to something new. Something not as dark as the many pages before. On the very first line was written one word. Raphael. It was written in neat printed handwriting; unlike the scribbled jumbles of chicken scratch that was used on the rest of the book. The rest of the page was worded out like this:

_'Raphael._

_Celestial and Earthly Love._

_Non e sempre di colpa._

_Love is not always harsh and deadly sin: If it be love of loveliness divine, It leaves the heart all soft and infanent For rays of God's own grace to enter in. Love fits the soul with wings, and bids her win Her flight aloft nor e'er to earth decline; 'Tis the first step that leads her to the shrine Of Him who slacks the thirst that burns within. The love of that whereof I speak, ascends: Woman is different far; the love of her But ill befits a heart all manly wise. The one love soars, the other downward tends; The soul lights this, while that the senses stir, And still his arrow at base quarry flies._

_Michelangelo Buonarroti.'_

The picture on the lineless page beside the sonnet was a little shocking to say the least. It was a colorless drawing, like all the rest, just pencil shaded black, grey, and white. In the picture was me and Mikey sitting in a field while the sun was either rising or setting; I couldn't tell. Mikey laid curled up asleep in my lap and I, in the drawing, held him protectively close to my chest as he slept. My detailed eyes watched over him fondly. At first I didn't understand. I had to put the book down and think before picking it back up and reading through it again. This pattern was repeated for the next five minutes or so as I tried to figure out how this could be considered brotherly. I tried to talk myself into thinking that this was meant as an affection between normal siblings, but I had to accept the truth. It wasn't brotherly in the slightest of ways. It was romantic attraction. My baby brother saw me as something else; other than a family member. This became apparent when I read the next page, and the next page, and the one after that, and the three after that.

Sentences clashed against each other as if they were at war. Like a conversation he had been having with himself. One side of the word flow talked about me. About how much he loved me and how much he wished 'us' could be a thing. The other spoke of how wrong it was and how disgusted he was with himself. He talked about the pain of trying to sever himself from me so he could kill the emotions that made him feel that way. A realization hit me like three tons of bricks, and I could practically feel my soul chip, and crack inside me. If he literately loved me more than anything else in the world with all of his heart than I could only imagine how bad it must have hurt when I exiled him from the house. Picturing his teary eyed face sent volts of tight pain through my chest. Guilt swept over me as I remembered the strain in his voice while he struggled to keep the agonized sobs from breaking out.

I slammed the book down on the bed and brushed my fingers through my red hair. I let out a shaky sigh, not really realizing until now how worked up this was making me. I layed down on my pillow and stared up at the scaling. I pulled out my cell and hit the three button to automatically call my youngest brother. I hated calling people. Hardly ever would I even consider calling someone when I could just send them a quick text. But I figured this time was different. The call stopped and immediately it went to voicemail, meaning his cell was still turned off. So I left a voice message.

"Mikey,... I am so sorry for what I said..." I said in a voice a little quieter than how I usually speak. "I was being stupid and... and I didn't know what I was saying." I continued; pressing my palm up against my forehead. "Thing is... we need you here ... Please come home." Then I hit the end call button and layed my phone on the bed.

As the situation set in more I grit my teeth and threw my arm over my eyes. "He loves me..." I mumbled to myself; not really knowing how to feel about it. "He loves me.." I repeated. I felt a stinging in my eyes and I bit my lip in frustration at myself. "Please come home."

~.:(tmnt):.~

Michelangelo:

The last week and three days wasn't so bad. It still hurt to think about my brothers, Raph especially for obvious reasons, but being here with Luther is like medication to dull the pain. Truthfully, after living with Luther Headrick for a week and a half, I'm not sure I even want to go back. With Luther, I feel like I'm human. A real full-blooded human. We go out every night to eat at random places and afterward we'll ride around the city; looking for something to do. Mostly we just hang out at the bar where we first became friends. We're going there tonight too.

Luther is such an awesome guy! All week he's been taking me places to get my mind off of my judgmental family. He's been buying me food and clothes and all around treating me like I'm fucking royalty. I tell him not to but he does anyway, like it's by impulse. I can't help but feel bad for it, but apparently he has the money so he doesn't see the problem in spoiling me rotten. I don't know where he gets the money because he doesn't have a job, that I know of. I decided to ask him about that later.

Right now were on our way to the bar. Somehow I had convinced Mr. Safety First to let me ride without my helmet. It was such a nice night and I could tell by the slight breeze in the air that it was going to be one hell of a ride. I was right. The wind tangled through my hair as I lay my head against my best friend's back. I could feel the many slight inclines of the spikes in his spine and I shifted to where my cheek wasn't pressing into them. I don't know what it would feel like to have a small teenager's cheek pressing into your spine spikes but I imagine it wouldn't be too pleasant.

The bar was a riot, as usual. It seemed more like a club than anything else. Only without the security dudes at the front doors with their all knowing 'list' that's actually totally blank. Asshats.

~.:(tmnt):.~ Switchin' it up son!

Mikey walked to their usual table; Luther fallowing closely behind. They sat and waited for the waitress that, without fail, would always be at their service within the first minute of their arrival. After almost a month of being in her acquaintance Mikey had learned that her name was Laura. Pretty name for a lovely girl. She was funny too, and pleasant to be around. But he would never try and start a conversation with her in fear that they become friends and she find out about them. The small comments and complements were nice though.

Laura took their orders; jotting them down on the little note pad thingy. Before walking away to tell the cook the orders she leaned down and placed her hands on the table top.

"Michael, that mask never gets old. It's unique, and fun, and just so... _you!_" She chirped happily.

"Thank you!" He beamed back. He loved this lady. She was so nice. "I like your corset! Very Steempunk style!" She smiled even wider and looked expectantly at Luther.

"Better take care of this one, LH. He's one in a billion." She said playfully. Luther chuckled warmly.

"I'm well aware." He smirked; gazing at the younger male with those astounding green eyes. Mikey just snorted at his friend as the waitress giggled at how cute they were.

"Be back in a sec!" She waved as she made her way behind the bar counter. Mikey decided now would be a nice time to settle his curiosity.

"Hay, Luther?" He asked; looking the other in the face. "How come everyone 'round here is always all chummy with you? I know we come here a lot, but it's like they _know_ you. You know?" Luther bit his lip for a second; thinking of an answer that wouldn't make his little best friend think down on him.

"Some friends of mine own the place." He decided that would have to be good enough an explanation.

"That's cool!" The blond said. But he wasn't sure what to think about it. Luther had never said anything about being friends with humans. Except Warren Peace which was unbelievably awesome in ways that are hard to grasp in sane understanding. He let the subject slide.

Laura came back a few minutes later with three slices of peperoni pizza and that huge ass hamburger that Luther got every time they went there. They ate their food in silence; only making noise every so often when the younger would hum or stomp his feet in delight at how good the pizza was. They finished their food fairly quickly and after almost an entire hour of begging Mikey got the older to use his 'friends with the owner' excuse to get him his first real drink. They sat up at the bar stools and started talking about what to get.

Laura stood patiently; waiting for the boy's decision with a smile.

"Get me some Captain Morgan Long Island Iced Tea. Just the bottle. Feelin' risky tonight." He smirked up at her.

"When do you not when you're drinking?" She asked; rolling her brown eyes at him. "What about you, Hun?" She smiled happily at Mikey.

"Mmm..." He hummed. Like I said; this was his first drink. He didn't know anything fancy. While he thought about it Laura walked to the shelf and took the bottle his friend had ordered. Bringing it back to set in front of the ivory haired teen. "I don't know. Whatever you recommend, I guess." He said with a shrug.

"First drink?" Laura asked empathetically.

"Yeah." Mikey said with a little half smile.

"Take a sip of this." Luther commanded; unscrewing the cap and pouring a gulp of the drink into a glass Laura had brought over for them. Mikey took the glass from the older and tilted it in circles to inspect the liquor. He shrugged his small shoulders and drank the small amount poured for him. He loudly sat the glass back on the table and screwed his eyes shut; shaking his wheat blond head as he released a few coughs.

"Remorse!" Mikey shouted; smacking his face down on the bar table top. Luther laughed; patting than rubbing the others back apologetically and reassuringly.

"Get him an Amaretto Sour." Luther sighed amusedly.

"Go'chya." She snickered; going to start mixing the edible liquids into a drink. She handed it over to the sixteen year old and leaned on the table, head resting in her hands, as she waited for him to take the first sip. Mikey looked nervous as the two looked at him expectantly. He gazed down at the orangeish yellow drink and bit the inside of his cheek.

"Well,.. couldn't be worse than the shit you got." He said; gesturing to Luther with the glass. "Bottoms up." Mikey took a large gulp of the alcohol. He set down the beverage, still holding the glass, and scrunched up his face a little. Then he shivered and sat up straighter in his stool. "DAMN, that's good!" Luther and Laura laughed at his reaction. They continued to talk for a while; Laura having to depart from the conversation every now and then to serve someone. But she'd come back to her favorite boys eventually. Mikey had downed almost five of those sour drinks before he proved himself ready to stop. He was a bit tipsy and abruptly stood from the stool, taking Luther's arm in a weak attempt at dragging him out into the crowd of people on the dance floor. Begging and arguing that he loved the song that was playing and that they needed to go have some fun.

Oh, this night was going to be fun alright.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Raphael had read the whole journal up to the final three entries. He read it out loud to himself as this particular entry pointed in the direction of their current situation.

"Beloved Journal, I am pleased to inform you that I have met another of our kind. His name is Luther Headrick and he's the coolest dude EVER! I think we could be friends! The guys think he's dangerous though, and Leo's usually right about this kind of thing. Whatever. Guess he's wrong this time. We met in an ally while I was dishing out some major whoop ass to some gang losers. Then we went to a bar and hung out for a few hours. It was pretty bodacious. Can't wait to see him again!" He skimmed over the drawing of a small turtle looking up innocently at a huge friendly eyed crocodile. Then he turned the page and began to read.

"Last night was RADICAL! I showed up at the bar and Luther took me outside to present his sick ass set of wheels! Black and chrome VN900 Classic! Almost brought me to tears haw beautiful this motorcycle was. We rode around the city for a while and I never thought I could feel so free in my life." Raph paused; starting to mumble the rest a little quieter. "Getting out of the chains and shackles for a while was so breathtakingly wonderful I could hardly believe I would have to leave and come back to this house. Luther is so accepting. I wish I could hang out with him without making this huge secretive deal out of it. Wonder what we're doing next time. ^U^"

The picture beside it was of Mikey and Luther riding that motorcycle through what looked like a forest or a park or something. Next page. This time he just muttered every other word to himself almost inaudibly.

_'He took me to a concert. THE GREATIST CONCERT IN THE HISTORY OF THE FUCKING WORLD! I SANG. WITH GET SCARED! I literally stood ON THE STAGE and sang my heart out in front of A HUNDERADE or so people. And Luther got me this sweet mask. Its all classy and stuff. I LOVE IT! How could he have done something like this? It's so incredible I never even could have HOPED to dream of it! I fucking LOVE this guy! After the best thing to have ever happened to me in my LIFE we went to his place. There was some dick there, then Luther turned into a dick and I had to calm him down. Poor guy. He told me about his past and all that. It was depressing, to put it in an understatement. I had to leave a while after that to make it back here before the dudes woke up. Dumb. But I finally remembered the name of that bar.'_ At this the red head was drawn back into full attention._ '~Xever's~ Its got a nice ring to it.'_

"Xever's!" Raph exclaimed; quickly putting the book down on the bed and exiting his room. He turned left down the hall and again down the stairs and walked into the living room to grab his shoes and jacket. Leo watched him questionably from the larger of the two couches.

"Where are you going?" The raven haired teen asked.

"Out." The younger replied bluntly; pulling on his shoes and grabbing his bike keys. Leo didn't have the time to question any further as the second oldest walked passed the basement door and Leo's room to the garage door. All the oldest heard was the opening of the outside garage door and the revving of Raphael's bike before the noise drifted into silence. He let out a sigh and layed his head in his palm.

"Be careful."

~.:(tmnt):.~

Mikey and Luther walked out into the crowded dance floor. Well, more like Mikey stumbled in dragging the taller male behind him. The neon lights flashed and flickered across the people that huddled together in groups to dance. The song currently playing was a cover of the song 'Clarity' by Luke Conard, Landon Austin, and Alex Goot. Wonderful song. Better cover.

Mikey pulled his friend over to a clearing beside a large speaker. He stood on his tip toes and leaped as high up as he could to wrap his arms around the others neck. Luther, only having a few sips of alcohol, was still sober and completely in control of what he was doing. Mikey nuzzled his head into Luther's shoulder as the older hooked his arms around the blonds back. They didn't dance, just swayed back and forth while shifting their feet around so that they slowly went in a little circle. They did this for the first part of the song; completely content with how the night was turning out. They would have gone on like this for the rest of the song. Even a few more after that if Mikey hadn't spoken up.

"I miss my brother." He mumbled; lowering his head and drawing himself closer to his friend.

"Raphael?" Luther asked understandingly. Mikey nodded his head. With a sympathetic sigh Luther placed his hand on the others head and hugged him around the shoulders. He wasn't stupid. Mikey never directly told him how deep his feelings were for that specific sibling, but in the way he would talk about him it was obvious he was most fond of the red head. Add that to what he's learned from Mikey's constant sleep talking and it was easy to see it was more than brotherly affections the blond felt for Raphael. The song continued.

'Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends. It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense. Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose. If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you.'

Luther could tell that mikey loved his brother with all of his heart, and, if it would make the younger happy, he would allow him to leave; no questions asked. But after what had happened last week, he wasn't willing to forgive and forget as easily as Mikey was. He couldn't stand by and watch the little guy get hurt because of his hotheaded sibling again.

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need. Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why.'

Luther Headrick was in love with Michelangelo, and he wasn't going to allow that undeserving heathen or anyone else to steal that ray of light away from him.

'If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?'

"Michael. I want to show you something." Luther looked down to meet the eyes of the shorter teen that looked up at him drunkenly curious. "Come'ere." He said; leading Mikey away from the left of the bar to the sheet covered hall in the back. They went through the sheet and up a few stairs that lead to a door.

"What is it?" Mikey smiled up at him. Luther smiled back lovingly.

"My old home."

Luther unlocked the door and he lead the younger teen into the room; turning on the lights as they stepped in. It was nice. A futon couch, creamy tan walls, a bathroom. It was like Luther's old shed house minus the teeny tiny kitchen corner. Mikey looked around amazedly at how cool this was. He didn't even realize there was a hall there let alone that it lead to a part of his best friend's history. He walked to the folded couch and sat; laying back against the arm like a pillow.

"Come over here." Mikey waved him over. Luther went to sit beside him but he grabbed the raven's hand and tugged him down on the couch. Luther caught himself in time before crushing the teen beneath him, but it was a very close call. "I want to know everything about you.." Mikey said hazily; grabbing Luther's face with both hands and bringing him down to put their foreheads together. "Every last little thing."

Luther stared deep into the pure topaz waters of Mikey's crystal eyes. He had it bad for the boy and he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep who he was a secret anymore. If Mikey wanted the truth that's what he was getting. Luther closed the short distance between them and brushed his lips against the youngers. Enjoying the peace and calm of the moment because the second Mikey found out what kind of monster he was this peace would be gone and there would be no turning back.

~.:(tmnt):.~

It didn't take long for Raphael to find the place he was looking for. He had been to Xever's a few times last summer to bash some skulls in. The place was run by Purple Dragons. It was on one of the sketchier sides of the city and only the worst came to mind as he thought about what his baby brother had gotten into through the week he's spent running around in the ghetto with some douchbag. He shivered at the unpleasant train of thought.

He was planning to go down to the bar and ask around for information on his brother. Maybe a worker would recognize the blond and be willing to help out. That was more than a little unlikely considering everyone working there was part of the Purple Dragons, but it was the only lead they had. He pulled up to the curb and parked his bike in the left ally. He stood from the seat after kicking down the kickstand and stuck his keys in his pocket. The warm night air tousled his hair as he walked on the sidewalk up to the front entrance. Upon opening the door his senses were overwhelmed with the loud music and the scent of alcohol. He sneered at the darker part of the bar, crowded with people stumbling around moving drunk out of their minds. Raphael watched as some inebriated ditz slipped and fell on her rear. He clicked his tongue with a half hearted chuckle and turned away from the scene; walking over to the bar. He took a seat at one of the comfortable stools and waited for the bartender to notice him.

The woman glanced away from the customer she was currently dealing with to see who was next in line for her services. Her brown eyes widened a fraction then narrowed into slits when she realized who she was looking at. Like he said before; he had been quite famous around here last summer.

"Excuse me for a moment. I'll be right with you." She chirped at the man before walking down to the red head and slammed her hands on the counter. "You're not supposed to be here." She seethed. "_Leave_."

"I'm looking for someone." He said calmly. He took the picture he had brought with him out of his wallet and held it up for her to see. "Have you seen this kid?" He asked; pointing at the youngest of his two little brothers in the picture. Laura's glare shifted to confusion then returned in full force.

"What do you want with Michael?"

"He's my _brother_. He's been missing for a week. When's the last time you saw him?" Raph interrogated coldly.

"Three nights ago." She lied. "He and Leatherhead seemed to have hit it off real well." Her devilish smile stretched wide across her face as she rested her chin in her palm. "Must be _embarrassing_ for you to know your brother's in league with the _enemy_."

Raphael froze. **_Leatherhead?_** The leader of the west district gang activity? That's who Mikey had been hanging out with? He thought it would be risky re-entering the base of South District Xever, but knowing now that his little brother was directly involved with a Gang Lord the seventeen year old was beginning to rethink his definition of risky.

"_Luther Headrick_ is the Lord of West District?" Raph asked just to be sure he wasn't confused.

"Sure is. And he seems to have acquired _quite a liking_ for your boy." She teased just to grind on Raphael's nerves. "Why, just a few minutes ago I had to remind him to stop drooling over the little _cutie_! After all, big, bad, notorious Leatherhead can't be seen _gawking_ over his little **_crush_** like a _school girl_." _A few minutes ago?_

"Thought you said you hadn't seen them in _days_?" Raph growled. Laura gasped at her own mistake. Covering her mouth she subconsciously glanced over at the sheet hung up on the wall in the back before returning her gaze back to the angry teenager. Raph caught the action and fallowed her previous line of sight to the out of place cloth that revealed a dark hall behind it. He stood from the bar counter and started pushing his way passed people to get to the hall. Laura had called out for him to stop but he wouldn't listen. She felt guilty about unintentionally ratting out the boys and stayed behind the counter; figuring she had done enough damage.

Raphael stormed up the stairs and almost kicked in the door at the top in his impatience. The door swung open and he stopped for a second to try and comprehend what he was seeing. Mikey lay pinned to the couch; gripping tight onto the color of Luther Headrick, worst known as Leatherhead: Gang Lord of the West. The guy had one leg on the floor to keep him stood up while the other sat positioned between his baby brother's legs. Luther had one hand by Mikey's head and the other resting on the smaller's hip. Their tongues battled in their heated make out session. Raph stared on in horror at the two who separated when they realized someone had interrupted their privacy.

Luther stood from the couch; getting in defensive mode, and blocking the younger from the intruder incase he turned out to be dangerous.

"Who the fuck are you?" Luther snarled at the new comer. Mikey peeked dazedly at the red head and his smile brightened.

"Hay, Raphie!" He waved; sitting up from his spot. "What's_ up_?" Luther and Raphael both stared at Mikey for a long moment. Both drawing a blank on what to say. Then the ivory haired teen turned his attention back on Raph with an enraged growl. However he kept quiet as the blond stood and staggered up and clumsily over to his sibling. "Haven't seen ya in a while!" Mikey slurred. He slung his arms around his brother and pressed his face to the taller's chest. "I missed you." He hummed happily.

"Are you _drunk_?" Raphael stated more than asked in exasperation. He didn't get an answer. Even still he wrapped his arms protectively around the younger as he and Luther glared death at each other.

Things were about to become hectic around here. They could both tell. But they didn't fully realize that this city was about to become a _warzone_.

* * *

**So do we like (he, she, them) better or should I stick with (I, me, mine)? Its up to you my darlings :) tell me what you prefer.**


	7. Chapter 6: Bonds Stronger Than Bones

**Hay guys :D here's the next chapter for you my sweet little muffins. I literally had to force myself to sit down and finish this chapter today at the cost of missing the Super Bowl because this boy's got some mad procrastination issues :/ but I love you all so it's alright. Enjoy!**

* * *

TMNT

Raphael and Luther continued staring each other down as Raph held his drunken baby brother close. Luther was just barely keeping himself from ripping his friend from the red head's arms and unleashing his rage on the offender. But he held back for Mikey's sake. Raphael hesitantly took his eyes away from the Gang Lord to give his little brother the attention he needed right now.

"Why have you been drinking? You're only sixteen years old!" Raph scolded the younger in a gentler than usual voice as he held Mikey's shoulders away at arms length.

"Almost seventeen, Raph. And I seen you drunk more than one time when _you_ were sixteen." Mikey closed his eyes and leaned forward into his big brother's hold. "Like the time you got mad at me after a few too many shots and kicked me in the stomach." He said with a big grin and a small laugh. "Damn, did that hurt!"

Raphael looked at him with wide sad eyes. His arms went weak and he allowed the blond to fall into his broad chest. He remembered that night a little too well. How he had shouted at his baby brother and kicked him a few times. He didn't mean to, his anger just got the best of him. And it was for one of the dumbest reasons. Mikey didn't deserve that. He had never deserved the way he had been treated and it took a journal of written and drawn out self hatred and agony for him to see that.

He hugged his little brother tightly. One hand tangled in the youngers hair while the other wrapped around his upper back, keeping him close. He had done so much shit to Mikey in the past. So much that he couldn't make up for even if he tried. But knowing now how the younger felt about him it was more painful to think about. Raph had teased him all his life, gotten angry with him for pointless reasons, pushed him off the roof of their house, almost bashed his skull in with a crowbar, and so much worse through the years. It made it all that much worse when that one journal entry came to mind.

_It was ten years ago when Mikey was six and Raph was seven. They had all been playing flashlight hide and seek outside one night and Mikey had wandered off too far into the woods. When Donnie had found Leo and Raph they all searched for Mikey for half an hour. By that point they had gotten worried and split up to find him. Leo checked the front yard while Raph checked the back. Donnie went inside to see if the youngest had given up and called it a quits for the night. They all called his name but he never answered._

_Raphael was about to stop looking and go see how the other two were doing when a distant yelp of what sounded like a frightened Mikey rang though his ears. He turned his attention toward the woods and, without even thinking about it, started a mad dash into the trails._

_"Mikey!" The little ginger shouted. "Mikey, where are you?!"_

_"RAPHAEL!" The seven year old heard as he raced faster in that direction. "HELP!" The shrill cry sent him into a panic as he forced his legs to go even faster._

_"Hang on, little guy! I'm almost there!" It was only a few seconds but it felt like minutes too long as he stopped at a moonlit clearing. Raph stopped dead as he laid emerald green eyes on the scrawny dog that growled viciously; backing little Mikey into a corner of large rocks. The blond was petrified. His only movements were the uncontrollable shaking and his quick winded breaths. The dog moved forward slowly; lips curling up to show it's razor jaws in a blood thirsty snarl. Mikey's tear filled blue eyes caught his big brother in the tree line and he squealed out._

_"Raphael...save me..." The dog took the sudden plea as a threat and sprung forward; sinking it's teeth into Mikey's leg. A loud, ear piercing cry bursted from the six year old; knocking Raph back into action. The red head picked up a few rocks and started chucking them at the dog. Each hit was fallowed by a yelp as the dog unattached itself from Mikey's wounded calf. The brown stray hurried away from the clearing, tail between it's legs in fear._

_As soon as it was a safe enough distance away Raph ran to his baby brother who immediately clung onto him desperately. Tears fell freely down Mikey's pale face as he clutched his brother's shirt and buried his face in Raphael's chest._

_"You alright?" The older asked carefully. Mikey shook his head no . "Can you walk?"_

_"I-I think so..." He stuttered out. Raph eyed Mikey's bloody leg skeptically and bit his lip as he stood and helped his brother to his feet. He helped Mikey keep his balance and let go of his arms to see if he could stand on his own. The younger stumbled and tripped falling into the older's out-stretched arms before he could hit the ground. Raphael let out a worried sigh._

_"We've got'ta get you home." He stated urgently. As cautiously as he could, he lifted his brother up into his arms and began running back toward the house. It felt like an eternity for the two before they were heading up the hill to the back door. Raphael carried his baby brother up onto the back porch and for a seven year old he sure could kick in a door. He ran into the kitchen and sat Mikey down on one of the chairs before running to his fathers bedroom door. "Dad!" He yelled as he stopped in the doorway heaving deep breaths of exertion. His dad and Donnie both looked up at him in worry at the red head's panic. "Mikey's hurt! He needs help!"_

_Splinter, their father's changed name after the camps, hurriedly stood from the bed and made his way to the kitchen; fallowed closely by his two sons. Mikey had rolled up his red stained jeans and Splinter sat down to inspect it._

_"Raphael, get him a wet wash cloth and a cup of ice. Donatello, go fetch your brother from the yard." Splinter ordered. Both children did as they were told. Raph wetting a towel from the kitchen and getting some ice from the freezer while Donnie flung the front door open to call in Leo. "My son, can you remember what did this?" Their father asked; propping the youngest's bloody leg up on his lap._

_"D-dog." He sobbed out; trying to stop himself from crying. Leo and Donnie ran into the kitchen as Raph sat the towel and cup of ice on the table. Splinter took the damp dish towel and started dabbing the blood away from the wound which Mikey responded with a hiss._

_"You okay, Mike?" Leo asked; petting back his brothers blond bangs from his flushed, tear stained face. Mikey gnawed on his lower lip and gripped tightly onto the edges of the chair he sat on; trying to hold in a yipe of pain. But he nodded his head to try and put his brother's nerves at ease._

_"It will not need stitches, but we'll have to clean and wrap it quickly before it gets infected." Splinter informed; looking seriously up at his sons. "Leonardo, there should be some gaws and alcohol in the upstairs bathroom. Raphael, go find pain killers in the medicine cabinet." The oldest siblings nodded and ran off to do their jobs._

_"What should I do?" Donnie asked; wanting to do **something** to help his only little brother._

_"You should stay here and help your brother through this." Their father suggested. Not knowing what else could be done Donnie pulled up a chair by his injured little brother and grabbed hold of his hand reassuringly. It must have felt awful just watching and not being able to do anything. That's probably the reason why shortly after that night Donnie took up a strong interest in medical books and doctor stuff._

_The process of cleaning the wound was a hard one for Mikey. The raw burn of alcohol on an open wound is never fun for anyone, no matter how old you are. He let out a blood curdling screech as the searing liquid was poured into the bite mark which made him start crying again. After he was sure the wound was clean enough and was safe from infection; Splinter took the gaws from Leo and began wrapping his youngest son's leg. Then he dumped the slightly melted ice into the towel and handed it to mikey to hold against the injury._

_Their dad had carried the baby of the family up to his room to put him to bed. That night Raph had stayed in Mikey's room to make sure he would be alright. His hand held tight onto the youngers under the blanket as he lay on his side; facing the sleeping blond. Mikey snored lightly and turned off of his back and into his side, coming face to face with his brother. He whined in his sleep at the shift of his new injury and cuddled up into his pillow. His arms moved up closer to his chest; bringing Raphael's interlocked hand with him. Then he sighed in comfort and smiled brightly at whatever good dream he was having._

_Raph watched him closely, thinking that at any second he would wake up in tears or would need something. The light of the moon shown through the window; illuminating his brothers freckled face and everything around them. Mikey looked like the most innocent angel that had ever been forced to live down on this undeserving earth. But Raph brushed that off as the sleepiness talking. with his right hand he reached up and brushed a few strands of hair back from the youngers closed yellow lashed eyes. He could have stopped this from happening. If he hadn't frozen up when his little brother needed him than he could have scared the dog away before any damage was done. But he didn't, and now Mikey was paying for it. His left hand gently tightened around his brother's as he whispered out._

_"Don't worry, Mikey...I won't let anything hurt you ever again." He mumbled; emerald green eyes drifting closed, threatening to fall asleep. "...I promise..." Then he let his eyes fall shut and send him off to sleep._

To this day Mikey was still a cat person. But the memory reminded him of that promise he had made all those years ago. Not only did he break his promise, but he had allowed himself to be the thing that hurt his little brother. Knowing that only made him fell sick, and disgusted with himself. How could he be such a douche to the one person in the world that loved him more than anything else? How could he stand back and watch that person unravel at the seems and fall apart like this? How could he stand there and watch as this continued? He couldn't, and that's why he was taking his brother home _now_.

"Mikey, I am so sorry about everything I've ever done to you. You never asked to be treated like shit and you sure as hell didn't deserve it." Raphael apologized into his brother's messy blond locks. He wasn't even meaning to be so gentle with him. He just couldn't bring himself to be his normal rough self right now. "I'm going to take you home now, okay?" He said in an asking tone.

"I.." Mikey muttered; pushing back away from his brothers embrace. "I-I..I can't." He staggered back. "Him...L-Luther.." He said; pointing at the tall raven behind him. "He loves me, dude... I can't leave him all alone." He paused than threw his arms up, then down to his sides. "You don't know what it's like to-to love someone... who you can't have.. 'cuz it's wrong and... shit." He spoke slowly, trying to put his tipsy thoughts into coherent sentences. "You just don't know!"

"But, Mike, _we_ love you. And we miss you so much it's _crazy_. Please... _please_ come home?" Raph argued.

"Aww." Mikey cooed. "I miss you guys too."

"Than come beck to us." The red head reasoned; grabbing Mikey's thin wrist. "Come back to _me_?" At that Mikey's eyes widened a little and began to tear up as his lip started to quiver. His body started trembling as he weakly tried retracting his hand from his brothers grip.

"No..." He mumbled quietly. "No. No. No. No. No. No. No. This isn't right." His knees buckled and he fell to the floor. Surprised at the action Raphael released his grip on Mikey's arm and watched helplessly as his baby brother balled his hands into fists and started to grab at his hair like something was trying to claw it's way out. "I'm a stupid, useless, worthless, insignificant, blasphemous, inane, piece of trash. It's wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! _Wrong! Wrong! **Wrong!**_"

"No, no, no, no, no..." Raph chastised with a calming voice. He got down on his knees in front of his little brother; prying his hands away from his head so he wouldn't hurt himself. "Don't say shit like that. You're fine. You're perfectly fine. There's absolutely_ nothing_ wrong with you. You're alright." Mikey looked up; cobalt blue meeting emerald green. Then the tears spilled over and he leaned forward to cry into Raphael's shoulder. "It's alright." The red head soothed; arms coming to rest on Mikey's small, shivering back. "Come on. Let's go home."

"Michael. Come here." A deep gravely voice demanded. Mikey sniffled; pushing back away from his brother again to look up at him with a sorrowful grin.

"Sorry, bro." He said; sniffing again and whipping his tears with his long black sleeve as he stood from the floor. "I got to go now." The blond trotted around his brother and made his way to the door where Luther stood waiting. He must have moved behind them while the red head wasn't paying attention. The ivory headed enemy ran his hand through Mikey's wheat locks. Possessively he pulled the shorter closer to himself; saying quietly in hopes that Raphael not hear him.

"Go out to the bike. I'll be there in a second."

The command and blunt act of ownership sent a wave of anger through Raph's veins. He stood from the floor and brought up the necessary strength he needed to be a little rough with the younger. Mikey nodded and went to leave, but was stopped by his brother's voice.

"No, Mikey! Stay here." He growled; watching the taller man with a heated glare. The blond stopped, looking back and forth frightenedly between his two loves.

"Go downstairs, Michael. You might get hurt up here." Luther reasoned like a mother telling her child to leave the room while his parents were fighting. "Go on. I'm right behind you."

"Mike, don't listen to him! He wants to take you away from us!" Raphael argued; holding out his hand to beckon Mikey back over to him. "Just come with me. I'll take you back to the house and we can fix this." Mikey bit the inside of his cheek and took a hesitant step towards Raph.

"He's lying!" Luther shouted; enraged at the teen trying to steal the younger. "Do you really want to go back to that _dysfunctional mess_ of a family?"

"Don't talk shit on our family, _asshole!_" Raph shouted.

"You really want to go back to the rejection and ridicule? Back to _him?_" Luther gestured to the ginger. "Your _beloved big brother_ that _chewed you up_ then _spit you out_ like _**dirt**_? Are you willing to _put up_ with that again?"

"You fucking piece of-"

"_STOP IT!_" Michelangelo screamed; covering his ears to block out their noise. He was starting to get his soberness back and his thoughts were running more clearly. "If you could _shut the hell_ _up_ for _five seconds_; that would be **_great!_**" The voices that had been shooting at each other before still blaring in his head painfully.

"_Mikey_-"

"Raph, I'm sorry, but I can't go with you. I'll come back home when I'm ready, but until then I'm staying with Luther." A sense of finality was etched into Mikey's freckled face as he turned to leave his brother behind. However Raphael wasn't planning on letting him leave without a fight. He snagged Mikey back around by the arm and firmly held him in place by the shoulders. Luther tensed; watching across the room as the short tempered bastard man-handled his little Michael. But he kept himself under control; not wanting to be forced to hide a body tonight. Or console a devastated Michelangelo afterword.

"What are you even_ saying_?" Raphael breathed in a hurt voice. "Do you know how worried the guys are about you? How worried _I_ _am?_"

"Whatever." Mikey laughed humorlessly; smacking Raph's left hand away from his shoulder. "I can understand that Leo and Don are a bit stressed out about it though. Tell them I'll be back as soon as I can."

"What do you mean _'as soon as you can'_? Just come back now! What's holding you back?" Raph asked; holding on tighter to his little brother with his right hand. Mikey glared up at him like he had crossed the line into uncharted territory. Now there was no escaping the storm that came thundering in; giving his sky blue eyes a tint of deep lying anger.

"You've _beaten_ me. You've _insulted_ me. You've hurt me in ways that I find hard to describe with mere words. But I forgave you. Everything you've ever done to me I've tried to forgive, but I can never _forget_ all of the _bullshit_ you've put me through." He sneered up at the older. "Now I just need a break." He sighed in exaggeration. "A week or two with someone who doesn't think I'm stupid, or worthless, or a burden. Someone who knows me and actually likes me for who I am. And here you come stomping in trying to take all that away from me!" Mikey shouted; throwing up his hands and stepping back away from the older. "Luther's right, man." He shook his head as he started to turn around. "I just can't be around you right now."

The red masked teen watched; frozen in place as his baby brother walked away from him to stand beside the enemy. There was nothing he could have really done to stop it. What was he supposed to do? Take him back by force? Usually, for Raphael, that would be the first choice, but he couldn't get himself to do it. He felt like he was obligated to give his brother some space because, after all, he did deserve it. Mikey had always been the one to hold them all together. When Leo would train too hard Mikey would distract him or make him take a break with video games or something. When Donnie would work on something for too long Mikey would force him to come up and eat or go to bed. And when Raph was in a bad mood or just needing someone to talk to, Mikey was always there for him. And all the youngest ever got in return was criticism and the heavy weight of being misunderstood.

Raphael watched as the two left together; Luther turning his head to smirk at him victoriously as he slid his arm around Mikey's lower back. The action made Raphael's blood sizzle with rage, barely being able to keep himself from chasing after them and ripping off the asshole's arm. They shut the door behind them and he waited for a few minutes to be sure that they were gone. He didn't need the notorious Leatherhead sending some goons after him for trailing them. But he would get his brother back. He had to before the innocent blond was sucked into the world of the underground gang chains. That type of business only leads a kid like that to a bullet in the head and Raphael wasn't about to let that happen. Not on his life.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Michelangelo:

Luther and I walked out of the room; leaving Raph behind as we went. He guided me down the stairs with his arm around my back, making sure I wouldn't fall because while I could think straight again I was still a little dizzy. I guess Raph took the smart choice and waited for us to leave before leaving too. The last thing we need is him fallowing us around the city all night trying to find out where Luther lives, because I know he's persistent enough to try it. He doesn't know when to give up.

But it felt so right to see his face again. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed him until now. How desperately I wanted to be around him again and hear his voice. Though I do stand by my word. I can't be around him right now. I'm trying to kill these feelings, not fuel them to life. I can't say I wasn't happy to see him. He actually seemed concerned about me. Hard to believe right? I mean, course he's worried, but rarely does he ever show it. Why was he acting like that? Then another thought rose up to my attention.

Why was he here?

There's, like, a million other bars out there. What are the odds that he'd walk into this one and just happen to walk upstairs to find me. For real, what's up with that?

I brushed it off as coincidence as we walked out the doors of the bar and walked around to the alley where we had left the bike. I looked at my brother's red Daytona 675 and I could feel a hint of regret at turning him down. He had been on his knees, begging for me to come back. But he was begging for his baby brother, and until I can shape myself into something fitting of the brother he needs then I can't go back to that house. I put out my hand and let the tips of my fingers skim the black material of the seat as we passed the bike and continued on toward Luther's.

He had me sit in front of him on the ride home; worried that I'd fall off if he let me ride in the back. The whole way back I leaned against my friend; lost in my thoughts. I'm going to get rid of these wretched emotions and return to my brothers as something worthy of their time and attention. I love them all and they deserve better than what they were saddled with. I can't face them again until I'm fixed. And Luther is slowly putting me back together; piece by tiny splintered piece. I had always known there was something wrong with me but I never knew the extent of it's severity.

I crave the affections of another living being, like a starving dog for the leg of a small frightened child. I used to ignore it because I thought it as an unnecessary desire. But now that I've had a taste of real, true adoration and devotion from someone I cant help but look back at myself from just a month ago and wonder how I lived without this. Without that something I had been waiting for to come and save me from my own self-destructive mind. I can't imagine having to go on without Luther for the rest of my life. It hurts too much.

When we got to the house we opened the door and went straight to bed, curled into each other as we lay under the sheets. My head sat under his chin with my arms wedged between our chests comfortably. He had one of my legs trapped between his as his arms rest around me like a protective shield from the rest of the world. It wasn't long before I completely relaxed in the safety of his hold and began to drift off to sleep. I was just bordering on the line of awake and asleep when his arms tightened around me; crushing me gently against his chest. But I was too tired to react to his change in grip as he let out a haggard, pleading voice.

"Don't leave me?" He muttered. I'm guessing he thought I was asleep, but I kept listening to his words of desperation. "I know a monstrosity like me is undeserving of something as extraordinarily beautiful as you.." He paused; taking a moment to gather his words. "..but if you leave...If we were to never meat again... I don't know if I could survive..." He placed a chaste kiss to the top of my head and kept his face buried in my blond hair. "I've lost everything, Michael." He took in a shaky breath. "I can't lose you too."

I built up the energy to move and tilted my face up; nuzzling the tip of my nose against the bottom of his.

"I'm not going anywhere." I said firmly; leaving no room for disbelief. And I meant it. No one could do anything to keep me away from my best friend and unconditional love. I felt him stiffen then exhale peacefully.

"Thank you." It was calm and happy as he fell asleep with a wide smile across his lips. I placed my head back under his chin and fallowed him into sleep.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Luther Headrick:

I had forced myself to watch quietly as my dear Michelangelo conversed with, argued at, and cried to the red head teen known as his older brother. How my sweet, beautiful, blessing of a best friend could be in love with someone so blatantly selfish and undeserving; I couldn't tell you. But then again how could he have been foolish enough to love me? His heart just soared and flew where ever it desired, weather that desire was good for the fragile defenseless little thing or not. He couldn't restrain it or lock it away as much as he could fool me with one of those well practiced, and fairly convincing fake smiles. He could build a wall to protect himself, but not without killing the part of himself that was truly him. The part of him that wasn't just some mask he would wear to make it seem like he was alright.

It never worked on me. The sight of that twisted forced curve shaming those soft rose petal lips made me want to cringe. I hated that smile. And that's the smile he wore when he spoke to Raphael. I could tell just thinking of the older made Michael deeply upset and depressed. I could only imagine how much worse it was for him to have to stand in front of the guy and listen as he blurted a bunch of conceited nonsense that he wanted his brother back. How dare he even think that he could walk into my territory and claim he missed his brother, like a child that wanted back a ragdoll just so he could toss it around for his enjoyment. It was like a stab in the chest; watching my little lover's shining eyes turn dark and distant as the ginger put up the guise that he actually missed him. And if he _ever_ causes my precious boy to be directly hurt like that again I won't waist a second on evoking the many different ways to torture him before I slit his throat.

After our small verbal scuffle Michael made his choice to stay with me. For a good while there I was sure he was going to fallow that sly vermin back to that house. I was so relieved when he made his decision. When he said his farewell and met me at the door I couldn't help but flash the low life a smug smirk. I sneaked my arm around Michael to show off that he belonged with me and he always would. The hatred in his deep green eyes was almost as venomous as my good friend Xever's after that same teenage monster killed almost ten of his guys last summer. It was just around that time we let our friendship from the orphanage we grew up at work us into a somewhat comfortable alliance. I hadn't known that the Nightwatcher was Michael's brother. Let alone that he was my competition in the struggle for the younger's affection, as well as on the streets. But nevertheless, he would be dead the next time he crossed me. Weather it be for the sake of my beloved Michael, or for the sake of the people who's lives were lost at the red heads hand.

~.:(tmnt):.~

I grabbed my bottle of Captain Morgan Long Island Iced Tea off the counter where I had left it before we exited the bar. I was more than pleased to see that hotheaded teen hadn't fallowed us out. I wouldn't have had any choice but to force my authority. I wasn't found of letting The Nightwatcher out of my grasp alive. I had recognized him instantly from the video feed Xever had shown me of the teen massacring his men. If he wasn't Michael's brother I would have killed him the minute he stepped through that door.

We walked to my motorcycle and I watched as the small blond beside me sadly ran his fingers over the seat of the hot rod red bike we passed. He wanted to go back to his family. He missed them dearly and missed Raphael even more. I knew he would eventually leave me. Nothing this wonderful could last forever. But I couldn't fight the dread that crept up in the back of my mind. The dark fear that when my darling Michael decided to leave he would never come back. Like a bullet in the heart, the thought flared and burned inside me; threatening to drive me over the edge. But I kept myself calm, if not for Michael than for myself. I couldn't let my anger gain control of me in front of him again. I don't want him to see me as some wrath fuelled beast.

I made the younger ride in front of me on our way home. He still seemed a bit unbalanced and I didn't want to take the chance of him falling off the back. We got to the house faster than we usually would have on account of my furious speeding. I parked my motorcycle and we went inside. After unlocking the door Michael slouched in a bee line to the bed. I snickered as I watched him groan and throw the blankets back; kicking off his orange converse so he could curl up into the mattress. Once my alcohol was safe in the fridge I took off my boots and jacket and went over to lay down with the sleepy teen. He snuggled up beside me; head tucked under my chin and arms curled up between us. One of his legs were placed between mine as my arms lay around him protectively.

We laid there like that until I was almost certain he was asleep. Almost. His breaths were calm and even, and he looked so peaceful laying so still. I had to speak my mind weather my words fall on the ears of the sleeping or the wake. I just needed to get these things off my chest. My lead in the Purple Dragons being the first that needed to come out. I have done so many unspeakable things in the name of the Purple Dragons. I will never be rid of the bloodshed caused by my hand and I deserve to live with that guilt. The weight of the murder and gore I've brought to this city will forever remain on my shoulders and I'm fine with that. It is the price I pay for my inhumane temper. Though, it hasn't been coming up as much lately. I knew Michael was the cause of my long term state of calmness. Ever since I saw a few of my men cornering a boy of my kind that night in the alley my bursts of uncontrollable rage have dwindled down from a few a day to a few a month. He made me feel at peace and I've never been so attached to someone in all my life. I never wanted to be apart from him. Now or ever.

"Don't leave me?" I muttered desperately. "I know a monstrosity like me is undeserving of something as extraordinarily beautiful as you.." I paused; trying to find the right words to fully get my thoughts across to the sleeping boy in my arms. "..but if you leave...If we were to never meat again... I don't know if I could survive..." I kissed the top of his head and kept my face buried in his blond hair. "I've lost everything, Michael." I said with a shaky breath. Memories of my orphanage friends came to mind. The other mutated children that watched over me. Then the faces of my family. I was only two when they all died, but I can still faintly remember the faces of my mother and older brother. Their kind bright eyes that shone with all the love they had for me in their hearts. "I can't lose you too."

I tensed up when Michael tilted his head up at me; nuzzling his nose against mine.

"I'm not going anywhere." He assured. The statement was solid and strong, so I knew he meant it. His eyes were closed; being too tired to keep them open for very long. I smiled down at him and released a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"Thank you." I fell asleep with a wide smile across my face. Maybe I would save my confession for tomorrow.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Raphael:

I watched that bastard walk away with my little brother under his arm. My soul shattered a fraction at the rejection. I had assumed Mikey would just forgive me, like he always does, and come back as simple as that. Considering he's supposedly in love with me and all, I thought it would be easy. Apparently I was wrong. And Leatherhead, as much as I hated the man, had a point. Why would he want to come back to us when he was having so much fun with getting drunk, and dragged into the gang life, and sucking face with the enemy? I'm sure he was having a great time dangling at the mercy of that deranged psychopath. I know I have some issues but that guy is a nightmare. I've heard some gruesome stories about him. How he could go on a destructive rampage and make it seem as petty as batting at a fly. He had the power to tear apart the whole city from the inside out at the snap of a finger if he felt like it. And he had my baby brother.

I wanted to fallow them. Find out where he lives and take Mikey back. But I couldn't. No matter how bad I wanted to I couldn't move. Mikey's voice kept resounding in my head._ 'Everything you've ever done to me I've tried to forgive, but I can never forget all of the bullshit you've put me through.'_ All the audible pain and anger in his hoarse voice making it hard for me to breath. _'I just can't be around you right now.'_ I could hardly believe it. He'd rather stick to the side of a Gang Lord than come back home to his family. I could understand that he was mad at me because, truthfully, I deserved it. I deserved every ounce of hatred and anger that he could hold over me, but that doesn't condone taking the side of the enemy. All our lives we were raised knowing that their kind was nothing but a bunch of cold blooded greedy monsters. They rob, and rape, and kill, but, hay, I'm one to preach about murderer while looking back on the things I've done. And I know that Mikey tries to see the best in everyone but I don't know how he could possibly let the lead creature of the hoard become a friend. Or more than a friend, by what I saw earlier.

But what if he didn't know? What if he had no idea he was staying with a city renowned homicidal maniac? That would definitely explain a lot. After all, I can't see him willingly hanging around a Purple Dragon after what happened to him last year. I shivered at the memory.

I was sure they had left but I waited a few extra minutes anyway. I didn't want to. The single thought of waltzing around in the hang out of Xever of the South was a little bit unnerving. But I had just seen my brother who had been missing for over a week with a fucking Gang Lord so I think I have the right to stop and take it all in. And they were kissing! What the fuck was that?! Mikey is probably the single most affectionate person I know, but he's not that affectionate. Are they a couple? Or maybe just fuck buddies? The thought of someone using my little brother for sex made me want to break something. Preferably the bones of that sorry fucker. Wait. Does that mean he doesn't love me anymore? Is he falling for someone else?

Why in the hell am I worrying about shit like that?! It's not my problem if he's moving on to someone else. Actually, it's a damn blessing. That way I wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness of knowing how he feels and trying to ignore it. and act normal. Even if that someone is Leatherhead of the West.

So why was I having to try so hard to convince myself that that was my true opinion?

I walked over to the couch and picked up the unfolded orange bandana that had been laying there. It was tied around Mikey's neck; replaced by the masquerade mask that hid his sea green scales. But it came undone and was forgotten on the couch when the two left. I stared down at it as if it was all I had left of him. It was a symbol of our family and our loyalty to each other as a team. Now here it lay behind; forgotten by the boy that had held us all together. It was kind of ironic, actually. I folded it up and stuck it in my pocket; walking to the door to get out of this disgusting place. The room was actually quite nice but the image of that douche pinning my brother to the couch was burned into my eyes and it made me feel sick.

I walked down the stairs and out through the bar. I shot Laura a glare that she returned quickly and I exited the building.

"I take it he'd rather stay with us?" She shouted snidely before the door closed. I growled and continued down the sidewalk toward my bike.

~.:(tmnt):.~

I kept a steady speed of twenty over the speed limit the whole way back home. Thoughts of Mikey and Leatherhead, or _Luther Headrick_, plaguing my mind; making me grit my teeth in frustration. I don't know why it bothered me so much. The thought of your little brother in the hands of an underground ring leader would drive anyone into an emotional frenzy. But that wasn't it. Sure it's scary knowing what Mikey's gotten into, but he's smart enough to take care of himself. It's just the fucking thoughts of **them**. The mind numbing images of that _asshole_ climbing between my baby brother's legs; _holding him down_, and _kissing_ him, and _touching_ him and shit. And knowing it only escalates from there. It made me pissed beyond all definition.

I pulled into the garage and parked my bike; climbing off the seat to go stomping through the door. I walked passed Leo's room and the basement door to storm through the living room; heading for the stairs. I passed Leo and Donnie as they sat on the couch talking about _whatever it is_ they talk about. They watched me stomp by in concern.

"What happened?" Donnie asked worriedly. I ignored him and kept walking.

"Raphael, where've you been?" Leo asked. He tried to make it seem like an order but he couldn't keep the motherly fret from his voice. I stopped and turned to look at them with a glare that told them now wasn't the time, but I gave a small grunt.

"Pack up your shit for tomorrow night." I said; turning back to continue up the stairs. "We're getting our brother back." I could tell they weren't done with the questions, but I was. I went up into my room and locked the door; rubbing my head as I walked over and flopped down on my bed. The memory of last year came back; reminding me why I hated gangs so much.

_Leo had gone away with Dad for a few months last summer and left me in charge. Me and Don had sent Mikey out to get some pizza since we couldn't just order in. We didn't expect him to be back very quickly but after three hours had passed we got a little worried. We tried his cell but when that didn't work we went out to search the city. We couldn't find him. Two days passed by before we heard from him. We were both high on edge and hadn't eaten or slept since he just vanished. So when Donnie got the text from Mikey at two in the morning we were already up and ready for some ass kicking. It read: 'warehouse on 22st. stuk in cage hurt. hurry'_

_We busted in through the glass roof; climbing down with ropes. There were hundreds of cages filling the room to the top of the sealing. Most were empty but the ones that weren't held people. Some looked wounded, others looked tired and filthy. They all looked like they've been through hell. Donnie and I both set to work with breaking the locks all while searching for our brother. We had freed about half the warehouse before I found the right cage. It was bigger than the others and the bars were thicker. The lock was also more complex and would take more than a twist of my sai through the latch to break. I could see my brother shift; his eyes opened narrowly and focusing on me. They widened in fear before realizing it was me, then went back to their tired slits as a weak smile formed on his face._

_"Hay, Raph..." His voice was dry and scratchy like he had been screaming. A lot. _

_"Don, I found him!" I shouted for my brainy brother. "Come pick this lock!" Donnie hurried over and checked the lock type; reaching in the pouch of his belt that carried his lock picks. He started tinkering around with the lock and I gripped the bars tight._

_"Hang on, Mikey." I swallowed at seeing all the scrapes and bruises. He had been wounded somewhere on the head. You could tell because there was quite a bit of blood it left as proof, and it was dried; matting his blond hair. He laid on his back with his knees in the air by how small the cage was. It was bigger than the others, but still small. "We'll get you out of here." He slid his arm across the floor of the cage over toward me, and I stuck mine through the bars to grab his hand. "Are you alright?" I asked stupidly. _Are you alright? **Really?**_He laughed; trying to make it seem like it wasn't that big of a deal that he was taken off the streets, and, to me, looked like he was brutally beaten._

_"Well... I cant really move.." He said; glancing down at himself. "So I'd say I'm doing pretty great..." He chuckled; failing to hide the way he grit his teeth at the pain of forced laughter. His grip on my hand tightened as the pain spread and he groaned in a way that sounded like a growl. _

_"Could you, maybe, _**hurry this up**, Donnie_?!" I hissed._

_"I'm trying as _hard _as I can!" He yelled back. Finally the latch came undone and I ripped it off to the socket, throwing open the door and nearly taking it off it's hinges. I crawled into the cage and leaned over my brother; helping him lift his arms around my neck so I could pick him up and carry him out. He hissed and whined at every move I made and I'm surprised he didn't break into tears. Everyone else we freed was doing that, so it was more heart wrenching to watch him put up the tough guy act. Even the fully grown man that had only been there for twenty-four hours was crying his eyes out. Instead he smiled up at me and trembled in my arms; trying not to brush a bruise or a gash hiding under his clothes._

_We freed the rest of the warehouse and lead the people to the exit where I was forced to put Mikey down so Don and I could beat the shit out of the watch guys. We let them go though. Donnie stopped me; spewing some nonsense about humanity. These guys took our baby brother and all these other people off the streets, and tortured them until they could barely function on their own. Some of those people in those cages were **dead!** Where's the humanity in **that?** But I backed down for Mikey along with everyone else here. They had seen enough horror for a life time._

_The guys ran away pathetically, so I turned around and went back to pick up my little brother so we could leave. But we had to split up to make this easier. I placed Mikey on Donnie's back so they could go home, while I lead the people to the hospital. It was a long enough walk just to get out of the sketchy areas of the city , so I when we reached a civilized section of the city I left the group of fifteen or so wounded helpless people at the mercy of the kinder citizens of the streets. A bit heartless, I know, but I had two little brothers at home that needed me right now. _

_I ran as fast as I could to get there, and, when I did, I barged open the door and almost slammed it shut. I walked over to Don who sat beside our sleeping brother on the couch. It looked like he had taken a shower and got all patched up because the dried blood and dirt was nowhere to be seen on his sleeping face. He had also changed out of those ripped disgusting clothes and into one of my 'too large for him' white tee-shirts and some grey sweatpants. If the dark bruises on his face and arms weren't a dead give away no one would ever guess what he had just gone through. Donnie looked away from Mikey's care free smile and up at me with tears in his eyes. My heart almost stopped._

_"What's wrong?" I asked; keeping my voice calm and steady. Don breathed in choppily; like he was going to start sobbing._

_"They hurt him, Raph." He breathed out; biting his lip as the tears broke free and ran down his cheeks. "They hurt him real bad." He didn't explain any deeper than that._

_We didn't know how long it would be before he woke up. Don said it could have been up to a week or two before he opened his eyes again. Thankfully it only took three days. I sat at his feet on the couch watching Supernatural when he shifted. I didn't worry about it because he tossed and turned a lot, but this time he let out a small groan and brought his hand up to rub at his aching head. _

_"Ugh.. what happened?" He ground out as he sat up on one of his elbows. "Head hurts like shit..." I think I may have scared him a little when I tackled him into a crushing hug because he jumped and 'eeped' frightenedly._

_"Thank fuck you're awake." I chuckled in relief. I pulled away from him; holding his shoulders at arms length. "Donnie! He's awake!" We could hear the pounding of feet running up the stairs before Don rushed into the living room to shoo my hands away. He sat between us and looked into Mikey's eyes; carefully asking in that gentle voice of his. _

_"Do you remember what happened to you?"_

_"Yeah..." He said after a few seconds of thinking about it. "Was kinda hoping that was a nightmare." He looked down at the floor scratching his head. "Did you see...?" He trailed off; hoping we would know what he was talking about._

_"Yeah..." Donnie said understandingly. "I saw..."_

_"Saw what?" I asked; eyebrows creasing in confusion. Mikey looked sadly at Don; silently asking if they should let me in on the secret. Donnie nodded and Mikey sighed. He struggled to throw his legs over the edge of the couch then shakily stood on his own. Then he lifted my shirt that he was wearing over his head to uncover the many bandages and bruises that littered his torso. But there was one particular one that he was trying to point out. He turned his back to us and let us see more of the injuries he'd sustained during the two days he spent in that warehouse. Donnie stood beside him and gingerly pealed one of the larger bandages from Mikey's lower back. Underneath was a searing red burn about as big as a five year old's hand. The burn was in the shape of a dragon that was twisted in a sideways eight; eating it's own tail. _

_"They branded me with a hot iron. Said I was merchandise now and I belonged to them. Didn't treat me too bad though, cuz they figured they could sell me off to a scientist or something." He chuckled. "Said they'd come across my kind before and got a ton of money off of it. They would have sold me too if I hadn't found my phone while out of my cage and texted you." He paused; pulling my shirt back over his head and carefully lowering himself back down to the couch. "Thanks for coming to get me." His smile was a little sad and relieved at the same time, like he had expected us to just leave him there because he was too much trouble to deal with. But happy that we decided we wanted him to stick around a bit longer._

_"Why wouldn't we?" Donnie asked brows knitting together in thought of our brother's thanks. "You're our brother. We'd do anything for you." Don pulled Mikey into a hug and pet his hair down. "We love you." He choked; on the verge of tears again. Mikey returned the hug, hiding his face in Donnie's shoulder._

_"I love you too..." He sniffled; directing the comment at the both of us. He spent the rest of the day alone in his room. That night I was heading out but Donnie caught me before I left._

_"Where are you going?" He asked innocently._

_"Warehouse." I stated plainly._

_"Why?" He asked, a little afraid of the answer._

_"**Vendetta.**" Then I left. I killed nine men that night. I left the tenth barely alive to convey the message I was sending out to all gang districts and the rest of the world. 'Don't fuck with my family.' They didn't know what I meant because I was too consumed in invoking my wrath that I didn't bother elaborating. But their Lord Xever took notice to my actions and they came up with a little name for me. 'The Nightwatcher'. _

We've been enemies of the Purple Dragons ever since, but no one despised them more than me. **No** **one** touches my family. Most importantly, no one touches Mikey but me. It's my job to mess with him. When anyone else does it around me I get all antsy and weird. I remember once when we were little I glared at Dad for a whole ten minutes for accidently nocking over a five year old Mikey who had been running around the kitchen under Dad's feet. Dad didn't mean to but Mikey started crying so intentional or not didn't really matter to a six year old me.

He still has that brand on his back. Don sais it'll never heal. I was reminded again that I had broken my promise to keep my baby brother safe.

I smoothed back my red hair and pulled Mikey's bandana out of my pocket. I held it by one of the folds, allowing it to fall to it's full length. It hung over me as I pictured his freckled, smiling face. His wheat blond hair a mess and his bright blue eyes shining in delight. I've always liked his eyes. Such vibrant shades of blue all clashing together like the waves of the ocean. Framed by thick blond lashes that looked a little feminine but fitting. They were so lively and spirited. They shown as clear as glass straight to his soul. But I can't remember the last time I actually looked into them the way I always used to. It would be a miracle if that light was still there after everything he's gone through.

I pictured him laughing as he ran around maskless in the field, lips parted in a wide grin. Then those same lips being smashed into a kiss by that fucking friend of his. I growled at the scaring turn of thoughts; kneeing the orange bandana over the heal of my hand into my eye. I turned on my side and stared at the bandana, tracing my fingers over the crisp fabric.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. I thought my outlook on my baby brother would change after I found out how he felt about me, but it didn't really bother me. In fact I felt more protective over him than ever. I just didn't know why. It should disgust me that he liked me like that, but it was like this new knowledge only brought us closer. It's not that I loved him back, in that way, or anything. I just felt like he was more vulnerable and fragile than I used to. I felt like I had to play out the role of the big brother and watch out for him. That was it.

Right?

Yes! That was it! So why was I second guessing myself? I gripped onto the bandana tightly and let out a confused sigh. I didn't know what to think anymore but there was one thing I was certain of. Tomorrow I would lead my brothers in an attack on the west district gang hangout. I would get my brother back even if it meant starting a war. He belonged here with me, not in the streets with that shit faced dick. He was going to get hurt out there if I didn't take him back and isolate him from the outside soon. The worries and anxieties pounded at my skull one after another. Dangerous settings and situations were manifesting in my mind as I forced myself to go to sleep.

I wondered how I could have let things get this out of hand. How oblivious I was toward my little brothers pain that I was causing. But most of all I wondered when I became so possessive that he wasn't **our** little brother anymore. He was **mine.**

* * *

**I know yalls were leaning more on the side of Mikey going back home with Raph but I didn't think that was angsty enough for my little cruel heart :3 and shit gets real because of this simple turn of events so I'm sorry if I made you upset with my little twist which wasn't really a twist. Please review and tell me what you think because, for real, every time I see that my story got a new review I jump and giggle like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Shit's crazy. You don't even know. Scare the crap out of my brother every time I do it cuz he's in my room all the time cuz he has no life. But, anyway, I love you all. You're all rad as hell and I just want to thank you for reading. ASGJ out! **


	8. Chapter 7: What Love Really Means

**Hay! :D I'm not dead! I didn't update last weekend because I was housing my best friend for a few days :) I didn't want my writing biz getting between our friendship time. So sorry about that but _here's the next chapter_ so enjoy! unless it sucks. Then feel free to hate it. :3 **

* * *

TMNT

The soft warm light of the morning sun streamed through the window, crawling across the bed of disorderly blankets to shine over a deeply sleeping Michelangelo. Even the pure shine of the day's sun directly hitting his closed eyes couldn't wake him from his dreams. He shifted and turned though as the smell of something deliciously awesome wafted into his senses. It smelt sweet like a baking cake at a nice old lady's house. Mikey took a deep breath of the sugary air and exhaled with a pleasant hum; eyes fluttering open at the drowsy thought of food. He sat up from the bed in his mound of thick, warm, blankets, rubbing at his face to help wake himself up.

He clumsily stood from the bed to discover it was way too cold to leave his blanket mountain. Quickly, he grabbed a fold of a quilt and tugged it free from the tangled mess of the other covers on the bed. He threw it in the air over top of himself and weaseled his way through it until it wrapped around his body and shoulders like a cocoon. His blond head poked out the top with a wide smile on his face. The extra length of the blanket that he couldn't bunch up in his arms trailed on the floor behind him as he scuttled around the corner and into the kitchen.

"Watch'ya makin'?" Mikey chirped; ducking under Luther's arm to see what he was doing. Luther jumped, slightly startled at the younger's ridiculous ninja stealth. Then he smiled down at him and rested his arm around the blonde's blanket covered shoulders.

"White chocolate chip pancakes." Luther said; pulling the shorter teen in to press against his side. "Sound like something you'd like?"

"You know it does!" Mikey looked up at the raven with big excited eyes, and a grin to go with it. He observed his friend's struggle to cook with only one arm and decided he was hindering the process of pancake making, so he made an excuse to leave the older alone. "I'm gunna go take a shower. Tell me when their done." He said as he turned away from the taller. Luther watched as his little lover tottled off, quilt dragging on the floor behind him, making him look like a child.

"Will do." Luther snickered; turning back to their breakfast. "So cute." He muttered to himself.

Mikey unwrapped himself from the large blanket and tossed it on the bed, discarding his only heat source. "_Eeep_!" He squealed, hurriedly pulling some clothes from his drawer and trotting to the bathroom. Once inside he shut and locked the door behind him. Shivering like a kitten in the snow, he turned the water on and up until it was steaming. His attention was drawn towards the mirror that framed his reflection. Identical pairs of topaz blue eyes stared each other down, seeing who would give in first. Naturally, his reflection won. His reflection was the wall he built to mask who he really was. His reflection was strong willed, care free, and was always sure of everything he did. The real him wasn't as secure in his own skin.

He latched his fingers under the hymn of his shirt and puller it up over his head, throwing it aside on the floor. His tired eyes continued trailing over the mirror, inspecting the scars and marks littering his torso. He kicked off his jeans so he stood in his orange briefs, and turned around to look at the brand on his back. Reached up behind him he traced over the burn scar with the tips of his fingers. It was a little over a year ago when he got it, but sometimes, when he thinks about that night and all the ways it could have turned out if his brothers hadn't shown up, he could still feel the stinging of that cattle's prod hitting his skin. Sky eyes narrowed at the offending mark in disgust.

He couldn't say he hated the Purple Dragons; hatred wasn't really his thing. But, weather he let it show or not, he was terrified of them. Any mention of them would cause him to involuntarily tense up. Laughed dryly at his mark; he narrowed his eyes down at his feet. He knew pouting about it wouldn't make it go away, but that didn't mean he had to like it. It was a symbol of his weakness. The symbol of the monsters that locked him away and tried to break him. The symbol of the south district's gang chain and it's leader, Leatherhead. He felt a small shaking in his knees at just the thought of the name.

Mikey removed the remainder of his clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water soak his hair and rain down his back. He stood in the pouring water and thought back on last year. The memory of laying in that cold dark cage, unable to move more. Unable to hardly think of anything other than how scared he was. He watched in horror as Dragons came in and took people from their cages by force. Some came back bruised and bloodied. Others didn't come back at all. He could still hear the shrill cries of a child pleading for his mother. He could smell the musky iron of blood in the air. He could still feel the ach and pain of each cut and each bruise left by the hands of the Purple Dragons. He remembered how Raph and Donnie had saved him and brought him home. But, mostly, he remembered the night when his older brother came home covered in blood that wasn't his own.

He had turned Raphael into a killer, and that hurt worse then anything the Purple Dragons had done to him. Raph started disappearing at night, going off to god knows where, and coming home hours later to wipe his sais clean of the familiar red liquids. Raphael never found out that Mikey knew. He heard off the streets of the vengeful vigilante, The Nightwatcher, and how he had stopped robberies, and kidnappings, and even rape that one time. He couldn't get his head around the gang details though. Just enough to know that the chain of command was separated into four districts. North, South, East, and West. So there were four leaders. Stockmen lead the north, then Bradford had the east, while Leatherhead and Xever had some alliance thing going on. He wasn't sure who lead which side but he assumed, by the things he's heard, that Leatherhead was the leader of the south.

The leader of the same guys who abducted him and did so many horrible things in hopes of breaking his spirit in just the span of forty-eight hours. Mikey wished he could forget. He wished the memories of those awful two days, that petrify him like a sneaks venom, would just disappear and never return. But that brand on his back was the mark of the Purple Dragons. An eternal reminder that he was weak and helpless and would forever be under the thumb of something stronger than him. Like his reflection.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Luther had finished setting the delicious looking pancakes out on a plate. He was busy cooking up some bacon and eggs when he heard the bathroom door open with a noisy creek.

"Breakfast is almost ready." Luther said; walking out of the kitchen to see his little friend's reaction towards the promise of food. However he was met with something far less pleasing. Mikey stood clothed in his boxers and jeans with his back facing the raven. Luther's electric green eyes trailed over the scars and marks that aligned the blonde's bare back, widening when they stopped to process the scared burn of his and Xever's joint gang symbol scorched into lightly tanned skin.

"Kay! Let me just get a shirt." Mikey said as he rummaged through his clothes drawer. Luther slowly made his way up behind Mikey as he decided on a black shirt with Catbug on the front. "Haha! Perfect!" He exclaimed; holding the shirt up to inspect. Before he could turn and lay it down on the bed the pads of Luther's fingers brushed over the burned dragon, caressing his back softly. "Uh, dude?"

"Where did you get this?" The raven teen asked. He turned Mikey around by the shoulders to look at his face. Mikey gave a small half smile and directed his blue orbs to the floor. He didn't really want to drag his friend into it, but if he wanted to know everything about Luther he supposed it was only fare that Luther know everything about him too.

"I was kidnapped last year by some Purple Dragons. They took me to this warehouse were they kept a bunch of people for their underground trafficking; I think it was." He explained; arm reaching up to rub the back of his neck nervously. "They gave me this scar, like they did to everyone else they held there. They would have sold me if my brothers hadn't shown up and kicked some P.D. ass." He laughed; closing his eyes in his false grin. Luther's brows creased in great sadness as he looked down at his darling Michael. His dear enchanting Michael that had been taken by Xever's men into the trafficking ring and marked as a human's possession. "After that my brother went kinda stir crazy and started leaving more and more often. Came home a lot all covered in blood and shit. I'm know he was killing people because of me." He paused; smiling down at the floor with the guilt of the world reflected in his eyes. "I made my brother a murderer..."

Luther smashed the blond against his chest and held him close; calming himself more than Mikey. It wasn't his fault. How could it have possibly been Michael's fault that he was abducted and tortured? Luther knew what happened to the people that were snatched into the trafficking ring. He knew the extent of that sections cruelty. He knew of the beatings those people received. He knew each and every terror that lay beyond the walls of the trafficking basses. So he knew for a fact that the time he was forced to be there was nothing short of hell for Michael. Luther tried to keep himself from crying. Tried to keep his façade up. He found himself wondering how Mikey could pull it off so easily. Still, as he sat on the bed, bringing Mikey with him, he couldn't prevent the stinging tears from falling down his face.

"Michael." He said; taking in a breath as he tried to find his words. "Don't... don't talk like that. You did nothing wrong." One hand held Mikey's head under his chin while the other ran back and forth soothingly over the brand on his back. "You're too extravagant." He shifted to let his cheek lay on the top of Mikey's head. "Too bright.. too pure..." He spoke softly so the crack in his voice wouldn't show; petting the other's hair to keep himself stable. "The earth will try to soak you in darkness, entrap you with evil, and smother you out. It will never stop struggling to destroy you. It will try to tear you apart and scatter the pieces, but it is not, nor will it ever be, your fault."

Mikey felt the pricks of tears welling up in his eyes but he pushed them back. He was sick of crying. Sick of feeling weak and pitiful. He raised his blond head to stare up at the face of his best friend. A small chuckle wanted to crawl from his throat and break free at the realization that they look deeply into each other's eyes so often it was comical. I mean, seriously, are they a fucking soap opera or some shit? It gets dumb sometimes.

Mikey wiped away the tears from Luther's face. Nimble calloused hands from endless hours of ninjitsu training brushing over the older's face with care.

"I'm okay, dude." Mikey said with that same fake grin he always wore. "For real. It's fine. No major harm done." Luther reached up to grasp the hand of the smaller teen, keeping the warm palm and calming touch in contact with his cheek. He searched Mikey's light blue eyes for any sign of dishonesty, which he knew was hiding there in the deceiving depths of those cyan pools. But the window to the soul was heavily guarded with a barrier up to hide the emotions. Submitting to defeat, Luther sighed. He closed his green eyes in surrender and leaned into the hand he held to his face. Mikey smiled. It was somewhat genuine and happy with a laugh that was just as heart warming. "Lets eat breakfast. I'm starving!"

Luther weakly smiled back, releasing Mikey's hand so he could adorn his Catbug shirt and cover his mutilated, sun kissed skin. They went on with their day as calmly as ever. Luther wanted to tell Mikey about who he was. Every chance he got he wasted building up the courage to do it, but he could never bring himself to. Mikey would leave him. He would fear him. He would despise him. After all... he was a Gang Lord.

~.:(tmnt):.~

The day creped on too slowly for the liking of Mikey's three older brothers. Raphael had told the other two of what he'd learned. He told them the details that were essential, like the bar and the gang activity their brother was getting tangled in. However he kept his identity as the Nightwatcher and the notebook to himself. There were some things that were better left unknown, and he felt like he owed it to Mikey to keep his personal thoughts and emotions a secret.

They were planning on storming the central hideout of the western district when the light of day set to shroud them with the company of the ninja's greatest ally. When darkness enveloped the sky into night and the activity of the thugs was at it's peak in violence, that's when they'd strike. According to Raphael, who's word was all the siblings had to go on, the only way to get their baby brother back was to make it known that they were willing to fight. He deduced that if they caused enough trouble and stirred up enough unwanted attention then the head of the hive would hand over what they want so they would leave in peace.

Leonardo and Donatello were not for the plan at all. But, after hearing about the vicious mogul who had Mikey captured under his tyranny, they couldn't force themselves not to take action. Weather they liked the plan or not they agreed it was effective and appropriate under the extreme circumstances. They spent the day perfecting their strategy and preparing for battle. Everything needed to be perfect. In the particular area of the underground gang chains one false move could mean the death of their little brother. At least, that's what Raphael had told them. It was the only way he could get them to go along with his plan. They didn't have to know the truth. As long as Mikey was back home with him, safe and sound.

~.:(tmnt):.~

It was thirty minutes passed midnight when Leo called them down to go over the battle strategy once more before leaving. Up until that point Leonardo had trained vigorously in the dojo for hours. Donatello made sure there were no chances of any malfunctions with their mission van that Mikey had whimsically dubbed as 'The Shellrazor'. Raphael sat in his room alone. The dim light of the desk lamp glowed faintly to ease the strain it took to see in the pitch dark. He held his brother's notebook in his lap, rubbing his fingers over the rough cover as he lost himself in his thoughts. The argument from last night was stuck in his mind; kicking and screaming to his attention.

_'He loves me, dude... You don't know what it's like to love someone... who you can't have.. 'cuz it's wrong...'_ It hurt to think about. No, he didn't know what that felt like. But he knew that he was the cause of that pain, and that only fouled his desire to get Mikey back.

He heard knocking at his door. Now broken from his thoughts, he looked up, away from the notebook in his hands, and to the door where his other little brother's voice leaked through.

"Raph, were going over the plan one last time before we head out. Leo want's you to come down and listen to make sure we all don't forget."

"What's the point?" Raphael asked from his spot on the bed. "We only ever go over it _'one last time' _so _Mikey_ wont forget. So there's really no reason in it, is there?" There was a pause of silence where he assumed his brunette little brother was using that brilliant mind of his to think about what to say back. Then his soft voice came through again, this time in a quitter, somewhat pleading, tone.

"He could die, couldn't he?" Raph listened closely so he could make out what Donnie was saying through the door. "You said that if we mess this up Mikey might die. Are you still positive that's true?"

"Yes." He gulped. It was the only way they would go along with it, but that doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't true.

"It's been so hectic lately. Like our whole family is falling apart at the seems." Donatello explained. "Can you please.._please_ give us this one shred of normality so we don't lose our minds?" Donnie waited at the door for a long second, almost giving a sigh of defeat, and leaving his brother alone until they were ready to go. Just before he gave in the door was unlocked and opened to let out the battle ready red head. He wore the black mission clothes they all wore on nights like this, and his sais were tucked in his belt, at the ready.

"Alright." His deep voice graveling in surrender. "Lets get this over with."

After the plan was gone over again they piled into the van and exited the garage, driving off into the direction of the west district's main gang base.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Luther and Mikey lay curled into each other on the bed, lips locked in a heated battle for dominance. On this particular night control happened to be in Mikey's favor. He took the lead and flipped to kneel over the top of the raven, legs straddling the older's stomach. They pulled apart to stair each other down with lust before Luther pulled the blonde down and leaned up to nip and kiss at his neck. Mikey giggled at the tickling sensation and let himself lower down closer to his lover. Their current actions promised an enjoyable night ahead of them, but they were rudely interrupted by the ringing of Luther's phone. They both laid there awkwardly for a second, and Luther looked up at the other sheepishly. Mikey groaned at the cursed phone but laughed in understanding before rolling off of his friend and onto the bed beside him.

Luther rarely had contact with anyone on gang grounds lately, and it was even rarer that he would be directly contacted for anything unless it was of grave importance. He quickly got off the bed and went outside to answer the phone, telling Mikey he would be back in a second. He didn't want the younger hearing this conversation and finding out what he was. He couldn't risk that.

He answered the phone and brought it up to his ear.

"What is it?" He growled into the speaker.

"_We're under attack!_" A voice shouted through. The sound of panicked yells and screams, cries of pain and fear fallowed by the firing of gunshots and clanging of metal.

"Is it the Nightwatcher?" Luther asked urgently.

"_Y__eah!_" The man confirmed. "_But he's got two others with 'im. Their tearin' us apart!_" Luther hissed in anger, taking the phone away from his face. He gnawed on the inside of his bottom lip and looked at the house that his lover sat in, waiting for him. He couldn't put it off anymore. Mikey deserved to know what he was dealing with.

"Hold them off until I get there." He ordered before hanging up. Luther went back inside to grab his leather jacket and boots, putting them on quickly. As he slid his arms into the sleeves of his jacket he turned to the concerned eyes of his little Michelangelo. He felt a sinking in his chest because he knew if he was doing what he was thinking he was, than those same eyes would hold nothing but hatred and disgust for him after tonight. Once the truth was out it was over. But he couldn't keep it a secret forever.

"What's wrong?" Mikey asked, voice laced with worry. Luther almost wanted to leave it alone. Just tell him he had to go somewhere and he'd be back in a while. But he couldn't do that. If it wasn't now that it would be later and he didn't want to draw it out that long. It would only hurt worse in the end.

"Put on your shoes. We're going somewhere."

~.:(tmnt):.~

The three brothers broke through the doors of the building, all stealth thrown to the wind when the guys outside caught a glimpse of one of them and started yelling out '_INTRUDER! INTRUDER!'_ like a deranged fool. The Dragons drew their weapons, readying themselves for a fight. The three charged ahead through their enemies, being sure not to kill just to wound them enough for them to stop fighting back. Bullets flew passed them, ricochet on the floor, creating flicks of sparks in their path. Swords clashed with chains, bo staff smashing into limbs right and left, sais stabbing and blocking attacks coming their way.

The Purple Dragons put up a good fight, in skill, not just in numbers. But in the end the rugged forms of the ninjas stood over the many crumpled bodies of their unconscious adversaries. One last Dragon stood, quaking in fear while slowly backing himself into a corner. The siblings strode over to him calmly, making him even more frightened. Leonardo extended one of his katana to the gangster's face as Raphael pointed a sai to his neck. Donnie stood at the side with the same cold glare his brothers had. Leo's threatening tone spiked like ice as he spoke to the man at the end of his sword.

"Where's our brother?"

~.:(tmnt):.~

Luther was being unnervingly silent. They quietly got on the motorcycle and the raven sped off at an almost uncontrollable pace. Something was wrong, but he wouldn't tell him what it was. Even still, Mikey held tight onto the older, physically letting him know that he was there for him. Luther grit his teeth at the assuring contact. Soon that would be lost to him, so he let himself relish the feeling for as long as he could.

They arrived at an abandoned skating spot at 1:45. Mikey would have thought it to be just some regular building if there hadn't been five men laying on the ground of the entrance. They got off the bike and both Luther and Mikey rushed over to check if they were alright. Mikey got down on the pavement to inspect the bodies. The amount of blood dripping from their wounds suggested they were dead, but the steady rise and fall of their forms indicated they were just passed out. However two of them weren't breathing.

"Come here, Michael." Luther ordered, sensing the younger's distress toward the corpses on the ground. Mikey gulped frightenedly and stood to his feet, almost running to the older's side. Luther put his arm around Mikey's shoulders in a sort of protective manner, leading him around the fallen men and in through the entrance. Inside didn't fare any better. The ramps and pits built for skateboards and bikes were littered with unconscious men and women. Some older while others were teenagers like themselves. It was simple to tell they were all gang members, but that didn't really matter when it came to a life, or, in this case, the potential loss of many. Mikey wanted to help but at the same time wanted to hide, like a scared child. The blonde clenched his fists into Luther's leather jacket, drawing himself closer in fear. He didn't know what was going on. What happened to these people? Why was this Luther's problem? Why were they here?

"Get away from my brother!" A rough deepened voice called out as a shuriken flew buy, only missing the raven's head by a few centimeters. That was Raphael's voice. Mikey looked up in the direction of a high lifted ramp to see his older brothers who had been sitting, waiting for their arrival. So many questions were running through Mikey's head. This whole thing that was happening didn't make any sense. First the call, then the dead bodies, now his brothers were involved in this? What the hell?

"Guys, what are you doing here?" Mikey asked but no one seemed to be listening.

"We'll tell you one more time, Leatherhead." Leo said in that chilly, intimidating voice of his. "Step away from Mikey." _Leatherhead? _Mikey slowly released Luther's jacket and stepped back just a foot away.

"Luther?" He asked, looking up at him with confused, questioning eyes. They were begging, pleading for the older to explain. "What's going on?" Luther opened his mouth to try and reason with him. To try and give an excuse to his actions and what was going on around them, but he was interrupted by the red haired brother.

"Yeah, _Leatherhead_, tell him what's going on!" Raph taunted. Finding nothing to say he simply shut his mouth and held Mikey's disbelieving gaze. Mikey felt frozen, like every cell in his body was frosting over with an unbearable cold. What were they implying? That _Luther_ was the head of the same people who kidnaped, and raped, and murdered for a living? It was impossible. There was no way in all hell that his best friend could be his worst enemy; could be a _monster_. He couldn't be. Not Luther. Not him.

"It's not true." Mikey's voice cracked as it was forced from his throat. His eyes began to tear up, and his body started to tremble lightly as he walked forward and grabbed up the older's jacket in his fists. "Tell me it's not true." He was hoping for a denial or some kind of response that proved he wasn't what his brothers were accusing him of being. Luther just looked away, eyes cast down to the floor in shame. Mikey let go of his jacket and backed away again, shaking his head as if disagreeing with the truth would make it go away.

Leo, Raph, and Don watched as tears of betrayal, and overwhelming sadness, and anger, and fear welled up to the breaking point and spilled down the freckled cheeks of their baby brother. They'd seen Mikey cry before. They'd seen him cry from a scraped knee or a blow a little too hard during training. They'd seen him cry when Leo went away with their father on a long trip, because he missed his brother. They'd seen him cry because of a bad dream or his fear of the dark. But they'd never seen this much raw emotion radiating from their little brother. It was like all of those invisible walls, that they never knew were up, came crashing down at his feet, letting every shred of misery and pain flood out into the tears that stained his flushed face.

"You lied to me..." Mikey choked out, trying to keep the quivering of his chin under control.

"Michael, I-" Luther tried to calm the other down, but he knew it was a worthless effort.

"I _trusted _you!" He shouted. The scream rang through the building, bouncing off of the concrete walls and coming back at them in a fading echo. He was about to break down. He ran his shaky hands through his hair and wiped away a few of the tears that were only replaced by the overflowing flood in his crystal blue eyes. I thought you really loved me..." Mikey's voice died down to a whisper. "I thought I'd finally found somewhere I belonged. Where someone actually loved me for me..." Those words were like poisoned knives in everyone's hearts. Luther and his brothers alike.

"Mikey..." Raphael muttered, wanting to run over there and wrap his arms around his baby brother. To stop his crying and take him home to where he really belonged. But Leo stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, looking him in the eyes and shaking his head in disapproval. Raph stayed where he stood, impatient and antsy if not anything else.

"Michelangelo..." Leatherhead spoke, almost breathless from the pure emotion in his precious lover's voice. "I_ do_ love you. You are _everything_ to me... _please.. _just let me explain?" He took a step toward Mikey, and, despite the overwhelming terror running through his veins, the blonde was able to stand without flinching away from the Gang Lord. After all, it was possible that he was telling the truth, right? Maybe he was still the sweet, sensitive Luther he knew and loved? He could be a Gang Lord, but that doesn't mean he had to be evil. Luther reached out to him tentatively, not wanting to scare him away. Mikey almost began reaching back, not wanting to give up what they had made with themselves over the month they'd known each other. Then the ear piercing cry of gunfire reverberated through the building and, before anyone could register what was happening, Leonardo let out a scream of pain and collapsed to the floor, clutching his side.

Even after they had comprehended that the blue banded teen had been shot it was like they were too shocked to act. Leo let out a low growl at the feeling of a bullet in his side and Donnie kneeled to his brother's side, pulling his hands away to look at the injury. They heard a strained chuckling from one of the bodies and three pairs of eyes focused in on the one that shook violently with a gun in his hand.

"Got one boss..." The man laughed, shifting the aim of the gun toward Donatello. Before he had a chance to pull the trigger Raphael threw one of his sai, sending the longest point of it through the man's eye socket. Blood spurted from his face and leaked down to pool around his head on the floor. Mikey watched in horror as everything played out like a bad joke.

"He's going into shock!" Donnie shouted. "We have to go!" Raph and Donnie carefully lifted the oldest of the siblings up off the floor and began hurrying to the exit. All thought on their previous dilemma was now pushed to the back of every ones mind as they tried to get a handle on the newest change in events. Mindlessly, Mikey began fallowing after his brothers, scared for his biggest brother and feeling like this was his own fault somehow. He quickly walked away from Luther and in the direction of his family.

"Michael?" It was a fearful, begging call for his attention. It was in the tone of innocence, but it came from the lips of a Gang Lord. Mikey paused for a moment, but he didn't turn around before picking up pace again and running out the exit to catch up to his big brothers. He left Luther alone, slamming the exit doors closed behind him.

They climbed into the van, Donnie and Raph sliding Leo into the back before Raph jumped over the front and into the drivers seat. Mikey ran up after them and climbed into the back, closing the doors and going to sit quietly at Leo's left side. Raphael twisted the keys in the ignition and slammed on the gas, throwing the vehicle into movement in the direction of home. Donatello tugged up their brother's shirt to see the bullet hole in his side. Mikey wanted to throw up at the sight of the under layer of scales that flayed out, a few peeling out with the blood that built up inside his belly. Don held a rag down firmly to keep too mush blood from spilling out. The pressure on the wound made Leo hiss exhaustedly. Mikey gripped his brother's hand tightly in fear of the worst.

"Mikey, talk to him." Donnie ordered.

"W-what should I say?" He asked. He was sure a normal ice breaker like _'you come here often?'_ wasn't going to cut it.

"I don't know. Think of something! If this bullet doesn't kill him than the shock will. So keep him calm and out of shock." Mikey thought over millions of things to say to his brother, but nothing seemed good enough. His big brother was dying and he couldn't even come up with a few simple words to keep him from the shock. He was an awful little brother, he always has been, and, right now, maybe that's what needed to be said.

"Hay, Leo." Mikey whispered gently, tightening his grip on Leo's hand as he tried to peace his thoughts together. "Remember when we were little and I'd go into your room at night after a nightmare?" He asked. Leo's eyes stayed closed in his poor state of health. "I used to ask you what mom and dad were like. I'm not sure why I'd ask so often, because you'd always give the same answer." He didn't notice Donnie looking at him with those chocolate eyes blown wide in awe at such a deep discussion topic. "I remember the first time I ever asked you that. You said you couldn't remember, but that was okay because no matter what they were like, they were gone, and they left you with a piece of them that you would always love and protect." At the memory his blue topaz eyes welled up again with tears. One or two trickled down his cheeks as he took in a deep breath. "You said they left you with me, and, to you, I was more precious than life itself. You said you would w-watch over me for as long as you lived, and that you'd always be th-there for me..." He paused, wiping the tears from his face on the long sleeves of his plaid, orange over shirt. "Me, being the clueless, idiot I am, said that I'd be there for you too, and that I'd be the best little brother in the world for you." He sniffled. "But I haven't exactly been keeping that promise." Leo shifted and opened his sapphire eyes to squint up at his baby brother. Mikey continued talking, eyes closed so he could better focus on what he wanted to say. "I'm not that smart, and I can't really do anything right, and I'm kind of a fuck up..." He chuckled in that fake lightheartedness that he had learned to master. "But when I felt helpless or lonely you were always there to help me out. You're more than my big brother. You're the piece of mom and dad that they left for me to remember them by." Tears began to sting in Leo's eyes too, but he remained still to hear Mikey out. "I picture mom having your eyes, and the leadership skills you have. And also your black hair and your worrywart personality. I think of dad as being more like me but with your focus and wisdom." Leo gripped onto Mikey's hand and let the tears roll over his nose and down his cheek as his head rest tilted toward the youngest. "I never got to meet them for real, or know them long enough to even remember their faces, but you're a part of them, and if you die... than you'll be gone, but mom and dad will be too." Then the sobs wracked his body making him shake and tremble in each hiccupped cry. Leo lifted his arm up to place around Mikey's shoulder and pulled him down into a hug. Mikey kept crying into his brother's chest but tried to finish his speech. "I-I can't lose you Leo! You're all I have left of them..." The older laughed hoarsely.

"Mikey, I'm not going to die." He said with a grin. "I'm going to be fine.. It's okay..." Raph glanced back through the rearview mirror with the same wide eyes expression that Donnie had. They wondered about what their biological parents were like from time to time, and it hurt a little, but they didn't have a biological sibling to constantly remind them of what their moms and dads were like. They couldn't imagine how much it must hurt to have to face those kinds of thoughts twenty-four seven, so they left the oldest and youngest of the four alone.

~.:(tmnt):.~

They arrived home a while after that and Mikey and Donnie helped walk their wounded older brother from the van to the garage door. When they were inside they turned to take him downstairs as painlessly as possible. They laid Leo down on Donnie's bed and Don shooed Mikey and Raph out so he could concentrate on extracting the bullet and stitching up the hole. Mikey fallowed his brother up the stairs and walked around him when he stopped in the living room. The blonde went to start his path up the stair and off to bed, but at Raph's voice he stopped and looked back with a false grin.

"Are you okay?"

I'm fine. But I wasn't the one that was shot in the side, so I think, maybe, you're asking the wrong person." Mikey turned and went up two more stairs before he was stopped again.

"I wasn't talking about that." The red head stated. "I was talking about Leatherhead. I was under the impression that you two were close." The words almost felt like vomit on his tongue. Mikey didn't turn to face at his brother, just kept standing with his to the living room.

"Apparently not as close as I thought." He finished bluntly. He wasn't that stupid. He knew what Raphael was trying to do. He was trying to play the 'I was right, and you were stupid' card. And Mikey didn't have to put up with that. As he continued up the stairs Raphael grabbed his thin wrist and pulled him back. The younger twisted to face the redhead and tripped in the moment of lost balance. At the few feet height escalation Raphael had to lean in to be sure Mikey wouldn't fall and land on his face. Raph caught his little brother in a hug with his hands around Mikey's small waist. In Mikey's panic while falling he put out his arms to try and catch himself which ended up placing his arms up over Raphael's shoulders, face flush against his rocky chest. A bright, beat red blush spread out over his cheeks as Raph held him tightly close to himself.

"I'm just happy you're safe." Raph mumbled down at the teen against him. He could see the strong shade of red covering his brother's face and found himself smirking at the reaction. Just knowing the reasoning behind the blush was even more amusing to him and he thought again how weird it was that he wasn't disturbed by the knowledge of how Mikey felt for him. He just thought it was entertaining.

Mikey freed himself from his older brother's grip and scratched his head nervously. "Haha, yeah. I'm perfectly fine. But you should seriously be more concerned about Leo. For real, dude. He got shot." Then he ran upstairs and shut his bedroom door behind him, walking over to his bed and laying down on the bottom bunk. He threw his arm over his eyes and grit his teeth. He thought he was getting over those feelings! He thought they weren't as bad anymore. _Fuck!_ He took his phone out of his pocket and turned it on so he could plug it up and charge it. When the screen flashed to life he began receiving message after message after missed call after more messages. He went through and deleted most of them, but he kept all of the ones he liked. He read through all of the ones from Raphael just to keep him busy. Some were nice, others were mean but it didn't matter. He just needed something to get his mind off of Leo getting shot and Luther being his worst enemy, there wasn't very much room for sanity so he just wanted to take a break. He grew board of reading text messages and decided to watch a movie instead. He got out his laptop and went to google to search for his favorite movie. _Sword of the Stranger. _He loved that movie with a passion just because it had a wonderful storyline, fantastic characters and the voice acting is funny when the Japanese voice actors try to speak Chinese but it just ends up sounding hilarious.

He was half way through the movie, at the part where Nanashi and Kotaro reach the temple and meet up with master Shoan, when his phone buzzed again. It hadn't done that for a while so he assumed it was something recent like Raph telling him to come eat dinner or something. He checked the message to see it was from Luther. He wanted to delete the message right away, but before he hit the delete button his eyes skimmed over the five worded message.

'I love you. I'm sorry.' 3:47am.

* * *

**So yeah...that was that =A= it's 3:47am right now and I'm going to sleep. Review and tell me what you think because I love and cherish every review I get like a fucking candy bar. X3** **mmm~ loves me that sweet yummy chocolate.**


	9. Chapter 8: Hidden Desire

** Hay, friends! :D this story has 29 chapters! That's freakin' fantastic! I know some writers couldn't give two shits about your opinions, but I respect every comment I receive weather it's good or bad. Though I prefer the good ones any day. Enjoy!**

* * *

TMNT

The next four days were exhausting. Mikey spent the majority of his time either in his room, or in the basement at his oldest brother's side. On the occasions that he wasn't in those two places, that's when things got somehow more stressful than they already were. With all that went down the other night, everyone still acted as normal as possible, despite the circumstances. Every one, except for Raph. While Leo, and Donnie managed to express their happiness that their baby brother was back, in their own subtle ways, Raphael had become, what Mikey would best describe as, overbearingly clingy, and frighteningly kind. Kindness was not exactly the redhead's strong point so it was slightly beginning to scare the youngest.

It started the night they came back from the Purple Dragon base. The uncharacteristic sweet words, and that sort of awkward, but gentle hug. And it only escalated in the three days fallowing. The subtle touches and discrete glances. The lingering eyes and spoken emotions. The other guys didn't notice because Donnie never left Leo alone, and Leo was bed ridden in Donnie's cave. Mikey played himself into thinking that Raph was only dealing with the emotions that came with a seriously wounded sibling, he wasn't ever any good when it came to his feelings. But Mikey knew that wasn't true, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

And, since that night, he hasn't heard anything from Luther. But he guessed that was for the best.

Mikey woke up that morning from another bad dream. They only seemed to be getting worse and worse. All the blood and carnage surrounding him, and the screaming and crying of a familiar voice. He couldn't clearly remember what it was about, but he assumed it had something to do with zombies. He rolled out of his bed, literally _rolling_ from the warm mattress and onto the floor. He dragged the blanket with him off of the bottom bunk and curled it around him. Keeping his body heat, and making it easier to scoot across the hard wood floor like an inchworm. He did this until he reached the door, where he came to the realization that he would never make it down the stairs like this, alive, and it was stupid. He flipped over to his back and turned his body around to sit up. The door loomed over him, laughing at his small blanket cocoon. It mocked the disability of his arms, seeing as they were too occupied with keeping the blanket tucked around himself to open the door. Tiredly, he flopped back onto his back, lifting his leg from his black comforter tent to try and twist the doorknob, and let himself out. Failing miserably, he considered going back to bed, but the loud roar of a very hungry stomach demanded otherwise. He roughly planted the heel of his foot into the door, grumbling about how difficult this was.

"Doors are no obstacle for a mighty warrior." Mikey mumbled out, getting up on his knees and twisting the knob with the covered hands that remained under the blanket. The hinges creaked as the door was opened a sliver. He poked his face out suspiciously, in search of any passing danger with squinted eyes. Nothing. The coast was clear. Opening the door enough for him to fit through, he summersaulted out of his room and into the hallway. Being formed into a ball of blanket made the summersault look more like a severely overweight troll reaching across the coffee table for another ho-ho and tumbling off of the couch awkwardly.

The dreaded time has come. He stared down the staircase, glaring at the bottom like it had just insulted his dear sweet departed mama. "I hate my life..." He said quietly in the mixture of an overdramatic groan and a sigh. Turning away from it, he pointed his legs down the stairs and let himself slide his way down on his tummy. Each bump of a stair caused a shift in his voice as he slid down, all the while making the quiet noise. "Aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa..." He sure hoped everyone was asleep, or too busy to notice his current rise in unreasonable idiocy. But it wasn't like he'd care if they did. They've seen him acting weirder.

Now at the bottom of the stairs, he crawled around the corner and went into the kitchen. The chill of the tiles pressed through the portion of blanket beneath him, making him glad he brought the blanket with him. He scuttled into the kitchen on his knees and elbows, crawling on all fours toward the stove. He was going to make bacon and eggs to settle his snarling belly. Mikey stood to his bare feet and untangled his right arm from his blanket cape. Taking the frying pan from off of the back burners, he turned on the front burner to five and let the pan heat up. He walked over to the fridge and got out some butter, a carton of eggs, and a pack of bacon.

After grabbing a knife from the silverware drawer he peeled the lid from the butter tub and lopped a glob of it into the pan, sizzling on impact. He snatched the salt off of the table and sprinkled it around the pan to help the melted butter in flavor. Breaking a few eggs, he let the gooey innards fall from their broken hideaways and into the pan to begin turning white. He did this five times, throwing each cracked shell over his shoulder and into the trash can across the room. At some point in the process, he let the blanket fall to the floor at his feet, uncovering the long white t-shirt and orange and black checkered boxers he was dressed in. He continued cooking, adding the bacon in and flipping an egg over every few seconds. His mind wandered to Luther. His best friend, feared enemy, lover, and torturer. He thought about the last time they'd seen each other, and the last he's heard from him. Mikey still wasn't able to delete that text message. It was burned into his heart like the dragon on his back. _"I love you. I'm sorry."_

He hummed along to a song that was stuck in his head, knowing every word, but not being able to remember the name of the song for the life of him. _"From all the years that went by..." _"Hm hmhm hmhm hmm hmmm..." He closed his eyes and flipped a few strips of bacon with a spatula.

_"Through all of your shit I've survived..." _"Hm hmhm hmhm hmm hmmmmmm..." He was so busy with making his food that he didn't realize his older brother turning from the staircase and into the kitchen. He threw some more salt in with the eggs, and shifted his weight onto his other foot; continuing to hum along with the song playing in his head.

_"You would have thought I had died," _"Hmhm hmhm hmm hmm hmm..." Raphael hadn't been noticed yet, and took that to his advantage. As quietly as he could, and, being a ninja, that was pretty damn quiet, he snuck up behind his little brother. He watched as Mikey swayed to his own warm honey like voice.

_"But I made it out alive." _"Hmhm hmhm hmm hmm..." From behind, Mikey's blonde hair was a mess and his back looked so frail and fragile. The temptation was almost impossible to pass up with him leaving himself wide open like this.

_"How do you sleep through the night?" _"Hm hmhm hmm hmm hmm hmmm hmmm..." Mikey jumped as his redhead brother wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned down to rest his chin on the blonde's shoulder. His bare chest rested flush against Mikey's back, and the younger could almost see the bright cherry red radiating from his own cheeks as Raphael asked with a mischievous smile.

"Watch'ya makin', little brother?" There was no escape. Nowhere to run and nothing to say. Every smart ass comment or phrase he could spew out to brush this off as a joke and play cool died on his tongue before it could be said. Raph grinned as he saw the strong, heated blush on his brother's freckle littered face. Mikey tried to relax as he kept his eyes on the food.

"Breakfast, ya nerd. Want some?" The blonde asked, trying to keep his cool. Raphael chuckled, wanting to draw it out longer.

"I know something I _do _want." He stated as he repositioned his arms around the younger. Mikey gulped and groped around his brain for something to say.

"What would that be?" Not that! You weren't supposed to ask _that_! Raph readjusted his head to where his lips were placed against the back of Mikey's shoulder.

"More bacon." The ginger almost couldn't keep himself from laughing as he stepped away from his flustered baby sibling and retrieved more bacon to throw into the pan. Mikey still wouldn't look up at him as he stayed leaned against the counter beside him. Raphael just watched the younger become self conscious and nervous under his intent gaze. That blush of his was so easy to force out and so adorable to watch progress. He loved teasing Mikey like this.

"It'll be ready in a while. Go watch T.V. or somethin'. You're freaking me out just standing there." Mikey said, trying to get him to stop acting weird. Raph laughed at the snarky cover up, but complied to Mikey's request. He ran his fingers through his brother's soft golden locks as he walked away from him, making his way to the living room.

"Anything for you, pumpkin." He waved sarcastically as he exited the room.

"I'm not a fuckin' pumpkin..." Mikey growled to himself lowly.

"You are to me!" Raph called from the living room. That is a taste of how strange things have gotten.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Sapphire eyes cracked open for the first time in two days. He had been in and out of consciousness since they got back to the house, but he'd been out of it for a while. The first thing he noticed was that Donnie wasn't at his usual spot at his desk. Hearing a light snoring, Leo lifted his head a little to see his genius little brother fast asleep at his feet. He wanted to laugh at the tiny amount of space Donnie was taking up in his sleep. It_ was_ his bed, so he had the right to have as much room of it as he liked. The raven had offered many times to move into his own room, not wanting to burden Don with his injury. It was his own fault he was like this. He should have seen that bullet coming, should have been able to sense it.

He tried to sit up, struggling not to strain his stitched wound, but he just fell back to the mattress. He was too tired to do anything. He glanced down at the IV hanging by the bedside. Thinking of the last time he was conscious, he remembered how Donnie explained to him that the needle in his arm was the thing keeping him alive. Leo was losing too much blood and they had to have Mikey do a blood transfusion. Now his baby brother's blood flowed through his veins, literally, not just figuratively. It was kind of funny, in a way.

"Don..." Leo spoke softly, not wanting to hurt his dry throat. "Donnie." He spoke a bit louder, nudging the younger with his foot. Donnie woke with a start, deep brown eyes lined with dark circles from worry locked onto the noirette.

"Hay, Leo. Are you feeling okay?" The brunette asked, just barely keeping the weight of exhaustion out of his voice. Leo gave a weak smile.

"Yeah. I'm good."

"Can I get you anything?" Leo wanted to tell him to stop worrying about him. It was the older brother's job to take care of the younger; not the other way around. But he guessed that principal didn't really apply in this situation, did it?

"No. But you can get _yourself_ some rest." He said with a chuckle.

"Nope." Donnie said, standing from the bed and scratching at his head with a yawn. "Just have a cup of coffee and I'll be fine."

"You haven't slept in days. I know you're tired." Don knew he couldn't deny his brother's deduction, but he still argued in weak defense.

"I'm fine, Leo. I just gatta-" He started, but stopped as he watched the raven sit up and slide himself over closer to the wall. Leo hissed at the movement of his stiff muscles and tightly wrapped wound. Donnie rushed to his side, kneeling over the bed to try to stop his bandaged sibling from straining himself. "What are you doing? You're hurting yourself!" Leo let himself fall back down to the sheets, smirking up at the brunette that sat next to him.

"Now there's room up here for two." The older said, propping his bare arms behind his head. The pale light of the lamp that lit the room showed the older's bare chest that heaved lightly from the energy it took to move. The bandages seemed like the tie that held him together instead of the cloth that covered his wound. Leo was in the most critical condition he'd ever been in his life, and yet he worried about how much sleep his little brother was getting more than his own well being.

"But...Leo-"

"Sleep." Leo ordered in that authoritative, yet understanding tone he had used on him so many other times. "You need it." Donnie sighed, and climbed under the covers to lay beside the raven. He turned to where his back was facing Leo, and he fell asleep. Even in the worst of times, Leo was still his older brother and best friend, and that would never change.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Mikey took the stairs two at a time into the lab, his older brothers' food in hand.

"I bring you delicious morsels from the world up above." He chirped as he turned from the stairs and looked to the bed. He went completely silent, standing there with an adorable kitten like smile across his freckled face. Raphael noticed the sudden lack in the morning loudness that reverberated from their youngest sibling. Cramming one more piece of bacon in his mouth, he got up from the couch and went over to the staircase, looking down at the small portion of the blonde that he could see.

"Mikey?" Raph said passed his food. He descended the steps and stood beside the younger at the bottom. "What's wrong?" He raised a brow at Mikey's little smile and fallowed his line of sight to their two sleeping siblings. Leo lay closest to the wall, one arm behind his head while the other lay stretched out across the pillows. Donnie had one arm around Leo's bandaged stomach and his head rested on the oldest's slowly rising and falling chest. They looked pretty cozy.

"So freaking cute!" Mikey whispered quietly, careful not to wake the two from their much needed rest. Raphael looked down at the shorter, green eyes softening in adoration.

"Yeah. Real cute." He said with a devilish smirk. Mikey could feel the heat rising to his cheeks for the zillionth time in the past four days, knowing those stunning emerald orbs were trained directly on him.

"I'll just leave this here for you guys." Mikey said in a hushed tone, laying the plates of food down on Donnie's desk. He tried to ignore the redhead's insistent gaze by not looking at him and sort of just pretending he wasn't standing there all intimidating and whatnot. The youngest sat next to them on the bed, looking down at his brothers with loving eyes and a tender smile. "Sweet dreams guys." He whispered before leaving a kiss on both Donnie's and Leo's foreheads. Then he got up and walked passed the second son of the family, like simply passing a ghost in the night. Unnoticed and uncared for. It was his way of not letting his little crush get out of hand. Especially since the dramatic character change in the older.

Mikey began walking up the stairs and Raph fallowed at his heals. They made it up into the living room, Mikey heading toward the stairs to go up to his own room. Raphael laughed to himself, effectively gaining the attention of his baby brother. The blonde didn't say anything, just turned around with curious eyes, wondering what was so amusing.

"Why don't you ever kiss_ me_ like that, Mike?" He asked, leaning against the back of the couch. Mikey let a fake laugh slip by as he tried going along with the joke.

"Shut up, dude." The blonde snickered, holding himself up by the hand railing of the staircase. "Maybe I do, and you're just too busy being asleep to know about it." Raph smirked and strode over to where the other stood, linking his arms around the smaller's back and looking up at him from the bottom steps.

"Maybe I want to be awake this time..." He hummed huskily as he rested his head against the Mikey's shoulder. The blonde chuckled awkwardly, starting to struggle out of his brothers grip.

"Real funny, man. But, seriously, you're gettin' all up in my biz. Back it up." He said, still thinking that this was just a phase his brother was going through, and it would pass sometime soon. Hopefully before Mikey started actually believing the sweet and tempting words his brother said were sincere. Raph didn't release his hold on the blonde. Instead he continued to argue his case in the matter.

"Has it ever crossed your mind that, maybe, I actually _want _in your 'biz'? Biz meaning your _pants_." He growled throatily, sliding his fingers into the back of Mikey's jeans.

"_Wow, fucker!_ You best be steppin' the hell_ off!_" The younger screeched, scrambling away from the older in surprise. "What the hell is your _malfunction_?" Raph kept laughing like he was over reacting.

"Dude, I'm just messin' around." He said, throwing his arms up in defense. "The look on your face right now! Jesus, Mikey, your face is so damn_ red_!" He continued laughing. This time the red in the younger's cheeks was not just of embarrassment, but of anger and pain, and all the feelings he fought back for so long. They were still in check, but his emotional damn had been seriously compromised, a crack etching its way through with frustration and confusion.

**It's _not_ fucking_ funny_!" **Mikey screamed, Raphael immediately stopped his laughter and watched wide eyed as Mikey spoke. "Why would you consider that even remotely close to_ almost_ funny? Because it's not! It's sick, and disgusting, and...and just plain _wrong_!"

"Mikey, I wasn't tryin' to-"

"Just stop it!" He yelled, ready to abscond the fuck to his room for the rest of the night. Or week. Or month. "Until you get all of this..." Mikey gestured to the older. "figured out, I don't want you around me!"

"What are you talking about?" Raph asked, faking confusion and innocence.

"All the _affection_, and the _attention!_ It's like you're not even my_ brother_ anymore, and you're _scaring me!_" Raph was at a loss for words. He could plainly see the fear riddled in the younger's eyes, and it almost stung. "Just leave me alone." Mikey finished as he turned and ran up the stairs. Raphael didn't go after him. He didn't know why he was acting like that toward the blonde. He just couldn't stop. But he had taken on a fast drastic change, so he could see how it was a bit unsettling. But still, this whole thing was only a joke. A big, cruel, heartless joke. Or, at least, that's what it started out as. Quite frankly, he didn't really know what it was anymore. He wasn't doing this for the soul purpose of being a jackass, and he wasn't doing it to mock his baby brother. He was doing it because he liked it, in a strange, obsessive kind of way. He liked the expressions on his sibling's face at every touch and tender word. His little shivers and blushes and simply everything about him. He loved it. And he was quickly starting to come to terms with that. He would let the younger have his time to heal from past events, but after that they would talk about this properly. It couldn't be ignored forever.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Mikey slammed his door shut, feeling a bit satisfied at the loud crash of the door into the frame, but also a little upset at his overreaction. "Sorry, door. I shouldn't take it out on you." He said as he glided his hand over the surface of the wood. Sure Raph had taken it a little too far with his teasing, but if he had just gone along with it for two more seconds, then he bet they would have laughed it off and watched some T.V. or something. But _no. _He had to flip his shit and panic at the newfound boldness of his brother's touch. Now things were going to be even more unbearably tense and suffocatingly weird between them. Great.

It had only been four days since he got back, but he was already questioning how he lived all those years without sneaking out to Luther's every other night. Oops. He meant Leatherhead's.

Wait! No he didn't. He meant _Luther. _So what if he was the man who caused his two days of torture and captivity? Who cares if he's the leader of an underground gang chain? He looked back on what they had before he knew who the raven was, and all he could think of was how fun and amazing it was being around him. That couldn't have been fake. And if Luther really was the notorious psychopath people talked about then he would have attacked by now. He knew where they lived, so why not retaliate? He remembered how happy he was with his friend, and decided that, even though he was the enemy, they had had _something._ Being trapped here reminded him of that, and he wasn't going to let it go for anything.

He locked his door and grabbed his phone off of the side of his bed as he positioned himself in the corner. His laptop sat in front of him on the page of a certain webcomic he loved with all of his heart. _Homestuck_. It was fantastic. The page he was on was of Karkat Vantas writing a memo about dead bodies, murderous clowns, and a lonely hipster running around with a fucking science stick. Yep. That's inspiration right there. Mikey looked at his contacts and clicked on LH, bringing up the one text conversation list. He looked at the last message he'd received from his friend and took a deep breath, making sure what he was about to do was alright with his conscience. He wasn't sure so he just muttered 'fuck it' and began typing up a message.

'Hi Luther. I know we haven't contacted each other in a few days but I think we need to talk about this.' 9:55am.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Luther lay asleep on his bed, planning to sleep the day away, then drink himself to oblivion before passing out for another twelve hours. He had made this his routine since the other night when the god of his life turned away from him, never to return. He missed the bundle of sunshine so much that he couldn't stand to keep himself sober for very long. Clear thoughts only resulted in misery and violent outbursts, so for the sake of his own well being, as well as his house, he stayed drunk and drained of all energy. He was getting pretty sick from the lack of food and constant alcohol running through his veins. But he didn't care. Nothing really mattered to him right now. He was alone, and forever would be until the day he died and for an eternity after that.

He only stirred awake at the third buzz of his phone in the last fifteen minutes. Grabbing his cell from under his hung-over body, he fought the urge to throw it across the room in anger of his awakening. But he figured he'd check and see what delirious asshat thought it was a good idea to contact him after the massacre of his men and the thievery of his love. The brightness of his phone screen in contrast to his dark room made him squint, sending his brain into an explosion of aching. He clicked on the message and stared blankly at it, processing what he was looking at.

'Hi Luther. I know we haven't contacted each other in a few days but I think we need to talk about this.' 9:55am.

'Luther?' 10:01am.

'Please talk to me?' 10:07am.

They were from Michael. He propped himself up on his elbow and began typing a reply. _'Hay. How have you been?' _Then he erased it and started again. _'I miss you.'_ Oh hell no. Not knowing what words he could possibly send his angel to make up for what had been done, he settled with what he had.

'I'm not sure what to say.' 10:13am

'Anything is fine.' 10:14am

Luther read the message and decided that if anything was good enough, then he would give his most desperate request.

'Come back?' 10:14am

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**I realize this chapter is short. I have made peace with that. Also I've been so involved with The Walking Dead that I haven't been focused on this as much as I would like to be. :/ But still I hope you liked it :) Until next time my darlings! I love yalls so much it's crazy! :D **


	10. Chapter 9: Dear, Sweet, Little Brother

**Chapter ten! :D Whoo! I got some of you lovely people out there wanting more Raph/Mikey ****so here it is. I warn you though, this is a_ lemon chapter_. If you're not into that than, by all means, don't feel obligated to read it. This is meant as entertainment, not a forcing of written sex down your throats :) so there's your warning. Fore those of you who are brave enough to proceed, enjoy!**

* * *

TMNT

That night Mikey looked over the messages again and again, convincing himself that he was doing the right thing. He thought of the last time he did this and laughed at the drama of it all. Last time he was sneaking out to meet with another mutated teen who was extremely rad and the best chum a guy could ask for. Now he was sneaking out to meet a gang lord who had a reputation of being a stone hearted, cold blooded killer in the human trafficking ring. Wow. How that escalated quickly. But he loved that man, and, though he was still scared shitless of the older for his placement in the Purple Dragons, he knew better than to let that fear transform the sweet, caring, crybaby of a man he knew into a monster.

_'Hi Luther. I know we haven't contacted each other in a few days but I think we need to talk about this.' 9:55am._ He waited for a reply, praying to the gods that he get one. Becoming impatient he sent another text. _'Luther?'_ _10:01am._ Still no reply. _'Please talk to me?' 10:07am_. A few minutes passed where he thought that maybe Luther was done with him. Maybe his brothers had been right about the man, and now he was tossing the younger aside like he didn't matter. He set his phone down and continued reading onto the next page of Homestuck. Then a buzzing vibration sent the bed shivering beneath him. He snatched up his phone and read the message he'd received.

_'I'm not sure what to say.' 10:13am._

He cracked a smile at the message, because only a_ stone cold maniac_ wouldn't know what to say to the guy that burdened him with pointless shit, caused the raid on his gang underlings, and was now crawling back to take up even more of the lord's precious time. _Only a soulless psychopath _wouldn't be able to say _'I'll kill you if I ever see you again.' _or _'I'll rip out your heart and feed it to the wild, you motherless freak!'_ And only a **_real_**_ monster_ would be able to care enough for him, after everything that happened, to even text back at all.

_'Anything is fine.' 10:14am._ Because he needed _something._ Something to let him know what all was left between them. He needed to know if they were still strong, or if there was nothing left. Even if it was a broken sliver of what was left behind, he'd try and peace it back together as best as he could. And if they couldn't, then at least they could say they tried.

_'Come back?' 10:14am._ And that had settled it. They could fix this. It would take time, lots of time, and a hell of a lot of energy, but they could be mended into something close to what was. Maybe something even better. The joy and uncontrollable energy sinking into his bones was more than motivation enough. He snuck out that night to return to his friend.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Luther answered his door at 10:34pm. The twelve hours that had passed allowed him to clean himself up to the point where the lights could be on, without him wincing at the brightness, in his violent hangovers. He still reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke, and Mikey took notice to it instantly upon the opening of the front door. Luther wanted to hug the younger the moment he laid his eyes on him. He wanted to hold onto him and just lay with him for hours, but that sort of thinking wasn't going to get him anywhere. Mikey needed his space and he had to respect that. Luther settled for smiling at the younger as best he could manage.

"Come on in." He breathed, somewhat ecstatic that the blonde was actually there. Mikey gave a little half smile, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets as he walked into the house that smelled strongly of booze and nicotine. The feeling in Luther's stomach was heavy and causing a bit of nausea. It was a mixture of excitement that his little love was back, and guilt and fear of their last encounter.

Mikey sat on the couch, unconsciously keeping his arms tucked close and fingers wrapped tightly around the kunai in his picket. He tried to make himself relax, but his fear of the Purple Dragons had him on edge. And he was in the presence of one of the Dragon Lords. He told himself it was okay, and that it was only Luther. But he still kept his distance, and maintained the guard he had been keeping up since he had left the house. Luther shut the door and walked over to sit on the opposite side of the couch, noticing the way the younger subtly scooted himself farther into the arm of the couch on his side. Both stayed silent, not wanting to unsettle the other, until Mikey spoke up.

"So..." He started, eyes locked on the stringy rip in the knee of his jeans. "Gang lord, huh? Bet that pays a lot."

"It has it's perks." Luther said, scratching his neck. "The loyalty of my men, power of a king..." He looked at Mikey's downcast head and his small nervous smile was replaced with a sad, downward pull of the lips. "But it has it's downfalls too." Mikey remained quiet, sliding his thumb back and forth over a pointed edge of his kunai. "...I'm sorry about your brother..."

"It's alright. It wasn't your fault." Mikey assured with a light laugh. "He's doing fine. Should be up walkin' around in a few days."

"That's a relief."

"How are your men doing?" The blonde asked, remembering the bodies and blood littering the building on the night he came home. They may work in the trafficking ring, but they were people too and he found himself worrying for their well being after their face off with his siblings. Luther leaned forward, arms resting on his knees as he tried to keep his gaze from shifting into a glare at the floor. He kept the growl out of his voice, not wanting to scare his dear Michael away as he replied.

"Thirteen injuries. Seven fatalities." He sighed at the memories he had of those people. As their leader, they were expected to fear him and respect him. They did that well, but on occasion they would talk like equal beings on this earth and thinking of those good people he had lost... "I had seventeen men and three women out that night."

"It's not like you knew it was gunna happen." Mikey said, tense shoulders relaxing a bit, but he didn't move from his spot. There was a long pause in the conversation where Mikey thought about weather he should ask or not, but before he could stop himself the words fell out towards the other's ears. "Did my brothers free the captives?" Luther's brows furrowed as he turned his head to look at the younger in confusion.

"Huh?"

"The people you capture for trafficking." Mikey stated, his left hand came out of his pocket to flip around, emphasizing his point. "When I was taken into the ring, you guys had a warehouse of cages and... _merchandise._" He shivered at the word. The insinuation that his friend was in the type of business where people were looked down on as objects, toys, and slaves. "I didn't see that section of the place when we were there the other night, but did my brothers let the captured people go?" The wait for an answer felt like it dragged on for minutes. The anticipation of the raven's response was suffocating. He could say, could do, anything, and he gripped the kunai tighter; readying himself for attack.

"Michael, I.. I think you're confused." Luther said, folding one of his legs up on the couch so he could fully face the younger. "I run the drug cartel. Not the trafficking ring." He said, combing a knot out of his black hair with his fingers. "Sure, I've killed people in the name of my title, but I could _never_ trap people and force them to be someone else's _play thing_." He grunted in spite toward the thought. "If I did that than what would be the difference between me and the assholes that did_ this_ to us?" Gesturing toward himself and the other, he assumed the point was clear that he was talking about their mutation. "That's Xever's line of leadership. I cant fucking stand it, and I'd kill the guy if I didn't know that it tore him up inside." Mikey's eyes widened at his misunderstanding. He looked up to meet the others gaze and held it as he spoke.

"You're..." He struggled to find the right words. "You're not..." He had thought that Luther had a side of cruelty that was unmatched by anyone in the rest of the world, Raphael included. He had thought that Luther was a torturer, a killer. But he was wrong. Yeah, he'd killed in the cartel, but that was nothing compared to the brutality of the trafficking ring. Luther wasn't a killer. He was a man with a job, and in the drug business, no one can be trusted. Mikey could only imagine how many time Luther had been in a situation where it was kill or be killed. He wasn't the devil, he was a guy who had to do what he had to do, and had to live with those decisions. Mikey pulled both hands from his pockets and sprung forward to circle his arms around Luther's torso, burying his face in the older's black shirt. "I'm so sorry I doubted you!" He shouted, nuzzling into Luther like he always did. Luther wanted to return the embrace but knew this conversation wasn't over.

"Michael." He said to get the other's attention, even still, letting one of his hands run through the wheat blond hair he loved so much. "Human trafficking or not, my hands are still stained with bloodshed." He chuckled dryly. "I'm still a monster." Mikey's grip around him grew stronger as he pulled himself in closer. Face remaining buried in Luther's shirt.

"Maybe you only _think_ you're a monster because people treat you that way..." He muttered out, voice slightly muffled by the others clothes. Luther bit his lip as it began to quiver, not wanting to start the waterworks any time soon. He hugged Mikey's small frame firmly, tucking his blonde head under his chin.

"You're wise beyond your years, Michael." He laughed breathlessly.

"I get that a lot." Mikey laughed back, lifting his head to peck Luther on the jaw.

"I'm sure you do." Luther chuckled, sitting back so his back rested against the armrest and the younger lay on top of him. "Oh, yeah." He gasped, reaching behind him to open the drawer of the table beside the couch. He reached back, arching his back to go farther back into the drawer.

"Eep!" Mikey yipped as he was lifted further up when Luther reached back. The raven felt around for a second before grabbing hold of something and pulling it out of the shelf.

"Here." He said, holding up a sai by the longest point. "I assume your brother will be wanting this back." He managed to say without spite.

"Oh." The blonde said, taking it from the older and sticking it in his orange hoodie pocket. "Thanks LH." He decided not to think about that particular sibling of his at the moment though. Too much confusion involved, it gave him a migraine. He lowered his head back down so his chin rested on Luther's chest and they stayed like that, just talking for hours.

When he decided it was time to leave he rolled from his place on top of the older and got to his feet. Luther walked him to the door and they stood out on the porch, letting it sink in that they were fine again, and everything was forgiven between them. Luther brushed the blond locks from Mikey's freckled face and laughed with a hum.

"You need a hair cut."

"Well, you're a nerd. So _there_." Mikey giggled at the ticklish feeling of Luther's hand against the side of his face. Luther bent down and laid a sweet kiss on the top of the blonde's hair line.

"I love you." He said as he straightened back up.

"I love you too." He gave the older a short hug before pulling away with a smile and starting his way back to the house. Luther stood in the doorway, watching him leave until that bright orange hoodie disappeared into the dark.

~.:(tmnt):.~

Mikey returned home at 1:48am. His return would have been sooner if he hadn't tripped over a rock and fallen in the mud that sat from the rain the other night. It was smeared across his face and over his belly where his hoodie had ridded up, along with a few little scrapes and bruises from other rocks and twigs. They didn't hurt too bad so he figured it was nothing to be worried about. He took the kitchen door to get into the house, closing it with a shiver from the fresh morning chill. He had originally planned to go straight up to his room and crash for a good long portion of the day, but that plan was shattered as he entered the living room. Raphael sat on one of the couches, turning to look at the younger as he stepped around the corner. He just clicked his tongue and turned back to the T.V.

"Sure took your time tonight, didn't you?" He stated more than asked, propping his hands up behind his head. "Been gone for at least three hours." Mikey, still angry at his brother for his strange change in behavior, decided to let his sarcastic side take full control of the conversation.

"Four, actually." He said, retrieving the redhead's sai from his hoodie pocket and throwing it over with a slight flick of his wrist. The older caught it before it flew passed him, not moving his eyes away from the screen. "Luther was kind enough to get that for you after you forgot it the other night in his subordinate's eye socket." He turned to ascend the stairs, ready to leave the conversation as it was.

"Where'd you two go?" He asked with an almost unnoticeable growl. "Back to the bar? To his gang base? Had to be _somewhere_ fun, you're all covered in mud." Mikey bit his lip and shook his head in a laugh of disbelief. Was he trying to give him a _guilt trip_? Was he being _serious_ right now? He turned around to look at his brother with a thin smile on his face.

"As a matter of fact, we stayed at his place tonight. Got a little physical." He said, referring to the cuddling. He only realized how wrong it sounded after the words had already left his mouth. He wanted to correct himself, but went against it, thinking the way he had put it was good enough as it was. The older could take it however he wanted to. Didn't really matter to him. "I just tripped on my way back."

The younger could only see the back of his head so he couldn't see the gradual widening then angered narrowing of the older's sharp green eyes. His teeth clenched and he set his sai down next to Mikey's journal he had at his side.

"Why do you keep going back to him?" The hothead asked, clenching his fists. "Knowing what he is and what he could do to you. It's a wonder he hasn't tried to kill you yet." He muttered the last part more to himself. "I just don't see how you can put up with being around that monster."

"Some people would call _you_ the same thing." The younger defended. "I love him, dude. He cares about who I am and what I think, and I feel the same way for him. And if something goes wrong, I can take care of myself." He sighed, attempting to be a little reasonable. "I'm not a little kid for you to have to babysit, so just let it go."

"You sure do have a deranged sense of _love_." He snided, fury radiating from his voice. Mikey took in a sharp breath of offence. He has the_ audacity_ to think **that**, let alone _say it out loud!_ Oh_ hell_ no!

"You know what, Raph? You're right." He stated with an enraged smirk. "Maybe I _don't_ know what love is! Maybe I just want someone to _fuck me!_" Then he turned and ran upstairs to his room, slamming his door behind him. The words stabbed Raphael like needles in the back of his head, and something snapped. He could almost feel his teeth chipping at the force of his clenched jaws. Snatching the journal up off the couch, he took the stairs two at a time to the top floor. He threw open his baby brother's door and entered the room, shutting it back behind him. Mikey sat on the bed glaring up at him with eyes darkened in impatience. "What?" He asked simply, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Raph held up the book for mikey to see, and watched as those eyes widened in shock.

"Why do you have that?!" Mikey yelled, muscles tensing up and chest tightening, making it hard to breath. Raph tossed the book aside onto the bed, but kept his eyes locked on the younger's face.

"Is it true?" He asked, strangely calm and patient for his current level of irrationality.

"Is what true?" The other almost squeaked, feeling the self-consciousness and embarrassment setting in.

"Is it true that you're fucking _attracted_ to me?!" Raphael snapped. Mikey just looked away, face flushed as he grit his teeth and narrowed his eyes at the notebook, like it had betrayed him. The redhead growled and walked over to the bed, kneeling on the bottom bunk to pin Mikey down and force him to look at him. "Is it?"

"Does it even matter?" The blonde asked quietly, looking down at his thighs. "I'm sorry, okay? I know it's sick and I'm really trying to get over it so-" Raphael grabbed Mikey's mud skidded face and turned his wondering gaze onto his own.

"So it is true?" He asked for extra confirmation, releasing his face so he could speak.

"Raph, I-"

"That's all I needed to know." He interrupted, grabbing Mikey's knees and pushing them apart. He gripped his sibling's hips and jerked him closer so his thin legs were on either side of the older's waist.

"Raph, what are you-"

"If you want someone to _fuck you_ so bad, then _fine._ Here I am." Raph seethed, leaning in close so his brother's crotch rubbed up against the older's pelvis, drawing out a choked back moan from the blonde. He held himself up on his elbows that were placed on each side of Mikey's head, keeping himself within a few inches of his freckled face. "I'll fuck you as much as you like, however you want, whenever you want." He said, grinding his hips against the younger's. Mikey threw back his head, swallowing down the groan of pleasure that rose up in his throat. "Just stay away from Leatherhead. I don't want you around him." Another push of the hips, making the younger whine at the sensational contact. "You understand me?"

"Raph, I- I can't just- mmph!" Raphael silenced him by crashing his mouth down onto his brother's soft lips, forcing them apart with his tongue and enveloping his mouth with the younger's taste. Mikey, pushed against his brother's chest, struggling to make him stop, but the redhead grasped his wrists and held them down on the bed. His tongue filled Mikey's mouth, swirling around, licking everything it could reach. Teeth clattered together as Mikey's lips began to bruise. Eventually Raph decided he'd had enough of his brother's sugary taste and decided to stop, licking across the younger's lips as he gasped for air beneath him. He sat up, releasing Mikey's arms as he let his hands slide under the mud stained hoodie. He all but ripped it over his brother's blonde head, gazing down at the tiny kiss marks along his chest and shoulders.

Was his baby brother not marked enough by those gang assholes? He had scares, and bruises, and emotional damage caused by their hands, and now _this_?! There was even a bite mark at the junction of his neck and shoulder! Well, alright, two could play at that game. Raphael picked up a steady rhythm in his thrusting, drinking in every sound it ground from Mikey's throat. He leaned back down and bit down on his sibling's neck, right over the other one. He felt his teeth sink in through the first layer of flesh and begin to scratch against the second as Mikey let out a shriek of pain. In the older's crazed state of mind, he took the sound as enjoyment and continued to bite harder until the strong taste of iron hit his tongue.

Mikey felt his eyes well up with tears. He felt Raph's slick warm tongue lap at the blood from his neck as his rough hands traveled down to begin undoing his jeans.

"Raph..." He choked, crawling back away from his brother. "R-Raph, stop it..!" He was only pulled back into position and grinded into again by the older's covered erection. "Ah! Aaah. Nnn." He whimpered, throwing his right arm over his eyes in his chagrin. "Raph." He said, not meaning for it to come out as a plea for more, but that's how the other took it. "Raph!" He said a little louder as the redhead brushed against the muddy cuts and gashes that were apparently worse than he had first thought. "Raph, stop! This hurts!" He cried out, feeling a little bit of blood trickle down his side from one of the more irritated cuts. "Please, stop it Raph! You're- ah!... You're hurting me!" The older had undone Mikey's jeans and slipped his hand in under the younger's boxers to toy with his aching cock. "Raph! Stop! _Stop_ _it_, Raph! _Please_ stop!" The older threw off his shirt and started undoing his own jeans. Mikey covered his face with both arms in terror at what was to come and he screamed at the top of his lungs. "_Please_, **_Raphael_**, _please_ _stop_!"

Everything stopped as the tears in Mikey's eyes sprung free and his fear added in to the mix. The crack in his protective dam chipped even more, sending the walls crumbling down; letting his emotions flood out. He began sobbing uncontrollably, not realizing that his brother had stopped his actions and was now sitting on his knees, watching with wide green eyes.

"_Raphael,_ _**stop** it! **Please**, Raphael, it **hurts**! _**'hic'** _**Stop** it, Raphael! **P-please**! I'm_ **scared**!** 'sniff'**_ **Please,** Raphael! Stop it! **Please!**" _The older sibling was broken from whatever raged antics he had been doing and looked on at what he had caused. Mikey curled onto his side, blue eyes clenched shut and hidden behind the crooks of his arms. He continued to cry, and shout out pleas for mercy. Raphael looked over the mud streaked injuries on his brother's stomach and waist, and the scars and bruises covering his back. Wincing at the red of Mikey's blood mixed with the filthy dirt that had been rubbed into his cuts, he remembered the night they had slept in this very bed all those years ago. How he had sworn to keep the younger safe from everything that threatened to hurt him. He remembered how worried and protective he was over the baby of the family and knew that even now he still was. But he had broken that promise so many times it was nearly impossible to fit the splinters of the oath back into place. He felt his chest grow tight as his baby brother continued to cry, bringing his knees up to his chest as his toes clutched onto the blanket. He could feel the sting of the tears in his own eyes as he saw Mikey's body tremble in fear and heard his begs for a quits turn to cries for help. He sobbed harder as the drying mud cracked and broke off into his bleeding gashes. Raphael had caused this suffering, and it was eating him alive just sitting and watching.

He didn't know how to help. He figured he had done enough damage, but he couldn't just get up and leave. He wiped the tears from his eyes before they could fall and as carefully as he could, he leaned over and placed his hand on Mikey's ribs. The contact made the blonde jerk away and cry even harder, but Raph had to do something.

"Hay, shshshsh, it's okay." He said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I'm not going to hurt you, Mikey. I'm not gunna hurt you." He said gently, big brother instincts kicking in. Tentatively he wrapped his arms around the younger's shaking frame and lifted him up into his lap. "Shhh~" He soothed, petting down his little brother's mud matted hair. "You're okay. You're alright. It's okay." After a few minutes of this, Mikey came out of hysteria, realizing he wasn't being hurt anymore. However he couldn't stop the tears that silently rolled down his muddy face. The occasional sob, sniff, or hiccup presenting itself every now and again. Still, the older of the two kept his arms around Mikey's back, tracing circles over his scars and cooing his calming 'Shhh... you're okay. Shhh... it's okay...'

...

When Raphael deemed his brother calm enough, he lifted him up and stood from the bed. The scratches on his stomach and the bite mark needed cleaned up, and over all the younger was just plain filthy, and needed a good rinsing off. He exited the room and carried the blonde across the hall and into the bathroom, closing the door behind them and walking over to the shower. Raph pushed the shower curtain aside with his foot and lowered Mikey down into the floor of the bathtub. After pulling the curtain to half closed he turned on the water and stood leaned against the wall. He tried ignoring how still the other was, just sitting there, letting the warm water spray over him. The caked dirt on his bare torso turned back to mud and the cuts continued to bleed from the little injuries scattered about his tummy. A particularly large stream of blood trailed from his neck and down his chest. Mikey covered it with his hand, not flinching as he felt the red liquid pooling from the bite.

"Raphael..." Mikey said, gaining the other's attention. Raph craned his neck to look behind the shower curtain at his baby brother. His undone jeans and showing boxers were soaked through, and his hair that wasn't sticking to his head covered his bright teal eyes. "Can I have a towel or something..?" He quietly asked, letting go of his neck to let the blood flow down. "This wont stop bleeding."

"Oh shit!" Raph exclaimed, grabbing the hand towel from it's rack, and pushing the curtain aside to kneel in front of his brother in the tub. The older held Mikey's hand away from the wound and pressed the towel to it with enough pressure to make the younger hiss in pain and back away from the cloth. "Come'ere, Mikey. We got'ta stop the bleeding." Mikey breathed out shakily and turned his head so Raph had better access to his neck. Raph gave a small smile and easily placed the cloth back to the bloodied bite mark. "There we go..." He said softly, relaxing where he sat.

Raphael could feel the water cascade down on them, drenching his hair and trickling down his back, dampening his own pants. Mikey let his eyes travel over Raph's face. His hair was wet and hung in his eyes, dripping water from the ends of clumped together strands. His strong, stone like green eyes, softened by guilt and regret, were trained on his neck; lost in the deepest of inner thoughts. Tan cheeks were smudged with mud from the kiss they had had earlier. He looked tired, and worn out, and as godly as ever. Mikey couldn't slow the rate of his longing heart, but how he wished he could. He hated how he felt about his brother. He hated how messed up this was. He hated how ignoring it had backfired so badly. He hated it! He hated it! He _hated_ it!

Mikey's hand reached up and rubbed his fingers into the mud on the older's cheek, smoothing it away with his thumb like a mother would to a child with food on his face. Brows risen and eyes widened, Raphael looked at Mikey, a little surprised at the contact.

"You had mud on your face..." The blonde said, expression still monotone and lifeless, but his eyes were filled with so many feelings it was hard to count. There was embarrassment, and sadness, and fear, and hurt. They all swam around at the surface of those cobalt, down turned eyes. But mostly, there was love. And his heart swelled with the hope and need for forgiveness.

"You do too." Raph said, bringing his hand to the others cheek and gingerly smearing the grime away. He did the same to the other cheek, then stopped when he saw the sadness start to dominate the blonde's expression. He looked down at his knees sat in front of his little brother's palm down, crossed ankles. His gaze wondered up Mikey's dirty stomach and he let out a sigh. "You have some here too."

"Just leave it be." Mikey said. "You can go if you want. I got this."

"Obviously you don't if you plan on leaving your scratches to get infected." Raph growled weakly. Mikey huffed, drawing his knees a little closer. "Hold still..." The older muttered, taking his hands away from the towel so Mikey could hold it there himself. He held the younger's sides, wiping the mud away from his pale, thin waist. Mikey whined a little as Raph brushed over a cut a little too roughly.

"Raphael..!" He yelped, grabbing the older's hand and pushing it away from his stomach.

"Sorry!" Raph quickly apologized, head snapping up to meet the younger's stare. They looked at each other for a long moment, and Raphael chose to test his boundaries. He let his fingers lace between Mikey's smaller ones, holding the blonde's right hand with his own. Mikey's face reddened a shade or two brighter as he stuttered.

"R... R-Raphael?" The redhead didn't move , only gazed at the younger who sat in front of him.

"I really do love you, Mikey." He stated, shaking his head with a frustrated grin; trying to find the right thing to say. "I'm just... I ain't any good at this kind of thing..." Ha laughed at how pathetic he sounded, stating the obvious like it was some sort of secret. "...I'm sorry..." When he looked back up he noticed the tears rolling down the younger's face again. He almost panicked, ready to try and calm him down again, but Mikey unfolded his legs and pulled his older brother into a tight hug. "Mikey?" Raph said, the shaking of Mikey's body becoming more profound as the older placed his arms around his scarred back.

"You just _had_ to wait for me to fall for _someone_ _else_, didn't you?" Mikey laughed passed a choked cry. "Had to wait for me to fall in love with a fucking _Gang_ _Lord, _at that, you _bastard!_"

"I'm sorry." He whispered, leaving a kiss on the blonde's shoulder. "I'm so sorry..." Mikey burrowed his jaw into his brother's shoulder, resting his temple against Raph's head.

"No." Mikey said, ducking his head so the water wouldn't get into his eyes. "I'm sorry. I should have never written that stupid journal."

"I learned more about you from that book than I could, by myself, in all the sixteen years I known you."

"Yeah. And now you know I'm not all that fun and pleasant to be around." The younger snided at his own mistake of writing the damn thing.

"I love you." Raphael hummed, hugging the smaller closer.

"You shouldn't." Mikey mumbled, closing his eyes in exhaustion. "I'm damaged." The redhead pulled away suddenly, just being able to see those dazzling eyes snap open at the movement before placing his lips to the younger's sweetly. They let the kiss deepen to where their tongues danced for dominance. They both pulled away from each other, gulping down deep breaths of oxygen for their deprived lungs.

"R- Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you _really_ want me?"

"_No_, I'm only doing all of this for an elaborate _prank_." Raph stated sarcastically.

"Ass-wipe."

"Cutie." They both laughed for a second then went in for another kiss, this time letting it go as passionate as it gets. Hands wandered the other's bodies, tongues memorizing every millimeter of the other's mouth like a favorite song on repeat.

Raphael's hands traveled down to his baby brother's undone jeans, pausing in the kiss. He leaned back far enough to look into the aquamarine eyes that pierced his heart like a cupid's arrow. Flushed freckled cheeks made the older want to throw gentleness to the wind and make the younger scream his name in pleasure.

"Can I?" He asked, fingers resting at the top of Mikey's jeans. He nodded eagerly and lifted his hips so his brother could take off his soaking pants. Raph removed both the jeans and boxers from Mikey's body and threw them behind his shoulder, eyes traveling over the younger's fully exposed body. He hummed and licked his lips, seeing the baby of the family purse his lips and look at the wall with self-consciousness. "Sexy." The redhead said, freeing his own erection from his pants. Mikey spread his legs as far as he could as he lay in the bottom of the bathtub. He had been fantasizing this for years and now here it was, about to happen in _real_ _life_. Raphael lifted one of Mikey's legs and put it over his shoulder, lifting the other to rest on his thigh. He positioning himself at the younger's entrance, looking at him for permission to go on. Mikey nodded and the older pushed the head of his shaft inside of him.

"Eek!" The blonde yipped at the small amount of pain the action had caused.

"You okay?" Raphael asked.

"I'm fine... Just keep going." Mikey assured, relaxing enough so that it wouldn't hurt as bad this time. Raphael did as he was asked and gripped onto the other's thin hips, pulling him closer until he was buried up to the hilt. "Mmnn nah!" Mikey moaned, arching his back and tossing his head to the side at the feeling of the hothead inside of him.

"Ngh! Damn, Mikey..." Raph groaned as his baby sibling tensed around him. He looked down at the blond who lay positioned almost completely on his side. He rocked himself against Raph's hips and whined again.

"Move, dude!" He grinned, almost begging. The ginger smirked and pulled out half way, growling out huskily.

"Anything for you." He slammed back into the younger forcing a cry of ecstasy from Mikey's lungs. Raphael kept thrusting in and out of the blonde, lowering his head to the now uncovered bite mark, and trailing his tongue from there to the dip of his jawline. Mikey moaned and gasped at every touch, making Raph grow even harder inside him. Pounding into him even faster, he growled at the fantastic sensation.

"Gah! You sure you ain't a virgin?" Mikey laughed loudly at the question.

"Virgin! _Ha!_ That's funny, Raph." The blonde breathed, panting for air. Raphael tried to ignore that comment and kept on going until Mikey gave a moan gradually louder than the rest. "Fuck! Right there!" He ordered, covering his face with his arm. Raph grinned and pulled out, turning the smaller onto his back so he could lean down and begin kissing him, thrusting into him again; aiming for that special spot. The freckled teen threw his arms around his brother's neck and rolled against his hips until that spot was hit one time passed his limit. He came, whimpering out his sibling's name into said sibling's warm, wet mouth. "Aah! Raphael!" Mikey's final outburst of pleasure was the breaking point for the older as he tightened around him again. Raph rode out his climax, coming hard inside the younger.

"I love you.." Raphael paused, panting for air. "so much, little brother." He opened his eyes to see his baby brother looking up at him tiredly with a wide smile.

"I love you too, Raphie..." The blonde yawned. Raph pulled out of the sleepy teen, sitting up from his hold to take a look at him. The redhead was pleased to see that the dirt was completely drained away, and the cuts looked clean enough to not have to worry about immediate infections. He lifted his little sibling into his lap, letting his brother's blonde head rest against his broad shoulder. Reaching behind the freckled boy's small form, he stuck a finger into his rear, fallowed by another to stretch him a little.

"What're ya doin', Raph?" Mikey asked.

"Cleaning you up." Raphael explained to his drowsy sibling. "Don't wanna sleep with an ass full of come, do ya?"

"Mmm...no..." The blonde mumbled tiredly. He could feel Raphael's orgasm seeping out of him and over his brother's fingers before it was carried down the drain with the water that showered down on them. When Mikey was clean enough to get out Raph took him out of the bathtub and dried himself off with a towel. He wrapped the same towel around the younger's shoulders, and picked him back up; carrying his half asleep brother back to his room. They went into Mikey's room and Raph sat him on the bed, leaving for a moment to go get a change of clothes that were more suitable for sleeping, and preferably less wet. Once he returned with his new change of clothes, being a pair of lose jeans and a black wife beater, he rolled his eyes at his sibling who was passed out on the bed, half curled up in that damp towel. Raph checked the dresser for something sleep worthy and moderately simple to put on a sleep hungry teenager. He found a pair of boxers and one of his old t-shirts that Mikey had stolen.

"So _this_ is where you went." Raph said, chuckling at his brother's habit of stealing everyone's clothes. He walked back over to the bed and took the towel away from the blonde. Mikey shivered and cracked open his cyan eyes to look up at the redhead. "Clothes." Raphael stated, waving the night's pj's around where the younger could see them. Mikey groaned and sat up stretching out his legs so the older could dress him, like a toddler. Raph clicked his tongue and slipped Mikey's little feet through the holes of his boxers and slid them up his legs until the younger took them and pulled them up the rest of the way by himself. Then he held up his arms for the red, white, and black t-shirt to be dropped over his head and into place, covering his upper body and a portion of the lower because of how long it was on him. "Ready to sleep now?" The redhead asked, sitting next to his brother on the bed.

"Mm-hm." Mikey hummed, letting his eyes close with a smile. Raphael reached into his pocket and took out the younger's bandana that he had been holding onto.

"Hay, I got somethin' for you." He said, holding up the bandana in front of Mikey's face. Cobalt eyes opened again as he moved back into his corner and he looked at the bandana with recognition.

"Oh, dude, I thought I'd lost that." He said, reaching for it.

"I got it." Raph said, batting away the younger's hand. "Hold still." And he did as he was told. Sitting in his exact position while his big brother tied the cloth mask loosely around Mikey's neck. "There. Perfect." Raph said, smiling at his little brother that was about to crash any second. "I'll get the light." He said as he stood and walked over to the light switch by the door. He flicked it off and let the brightness of the moon light his way back to the bed where his baby sibling had already crawled under the covers and fallen asleep.

Raphael lifted the blanket and got into the bed, picking up the muddy hoodie from earlier and tossing it onto the floor. He rested his head down and watched as Mikey snored quietly in his sleep. He acted on a whim and grasped his brother's hand, interlocking their fingers like he did when they were kids. "I'm sorry I broke my promise..." He said quietly to the teen beside him. "but I'm willing to try again... if you'll let me?" He didn't expect a reply, but when Mikey shifted in his sleep and tightened his grip on the older's hand with a smile that could make the worlds coldest heart beat a pace faster, he took that as response enough. He would protect his baby brother until the day he died. Even at the coast of his own life. Anything for his dear, sweet, little brother.

* * *

**Hope that was good enough. :) Mer~ whatevs. Until next time my wondrous children.**

**King ASGJ. Dueces! :P**


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